Jokes........Jokes........Jokes..........

meri taraf say ak jokewa..... ;)
police : santa , tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jaygi.
santa : ha ha ha ! mein toh subah uthta he 8 baje hun .:huh::icon10::shock:
:D:lol:

�I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.�

Durga mousi aap mere ko bahar bhej raheho? Mere saath baat karo.
Baaki dost log school mein hai kya?

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared,

she confides this 'news' to her mother.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who was the pig that did

this to you?

I want to know!' The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature

and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very
expensive suit

steps out of it and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the

girl, and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the

problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family

situation, but I'll take responsibility. If a girl is born I will
bequeath her 2 retail stores,

a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is
born, my legacy

will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However,

if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand

firmly on the man's shoulder

and tells him, 'You can try again!'

chaar dant nikle nahin ki basanti ke bare me puch raha hai nalayak............pahle mujhe ye bata bolna kaise seekh liya itni jaldi????????

little johnny comes home and says he got an F in arithmetic
'why' asks his father
johny:the teacher asked me wats 2x3 and i said 6
'then she asked me wats 3x2'
father: wats the BLOODY difference
johnn: thats exactly wat i said
Teacher: johnny you no u cant sleep in the class
johnny: i no but if you r a little quieter, I COULD
johnny all sad come to his teacher and askes "teacher will you scold me 4 something i havnt don "
teacher: no ofcourse NOT
johnny: goood cause i havnt don my homework

funny interview:
OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : TELL ME PROPERLY
CANDIDATE : MOHAN PAL SIR
OFFICER : YOUR FATHER'S NAME ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
CANDIDATE : MANMOHAN PAL SIR
OFFICER : YOUR NATIVE PLACE
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : IS IT MADHYA PRADESH ?
CANDIDATE : NO, MUNNUR PAL SIR
OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : (ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT ?
CANDIDATE : MATRIC PASS
OFFICER : WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
CANDIDATE : MONEY PROBLEM SIR
OFFICER : DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY
CANDIDATE : MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR
OFFICER : THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE, YOU MAY GO NOW
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : WHAT IS IT NOW
CANDIDATE : MY PERFORMANCE. ...?
OFFICER : MP !!!
CANDIDATE : WHAT IS THAT SIR..?
OFFICER : MENTALLY PUNCTURED... ......... .....!!!! !!!!!!!!!

Mousi .............................................tujhe .............................................

Arre Durgs......don't do it again yaar.......otherwise it will also be blocked.........don't do only chatting........baaki sab se bhi request he............
Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes". "Give
me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken
for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?”

“No, I had to stop drinking years ago?”, the homeless woman replied.

“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” the woman asked “No, I don’t waste time shopping?”, the homeless woman said.

“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”

“Will you spend this at a beauty salon instead of food?” the woman asked. “Are you NUTS?” replied the homeless woman. “I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!”

“Well,” said the woman, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.

The homeless woman was astounded. “Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”

The woman replied, “That’s Okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine.”