Workplace Romance Dilemma: How to Manage Relationships Affecting Team Dynamics?

Hi, these days I am facing a new problem in my company, which is of a different kind, and I am not finding a way out of this.

I am working in a medium-sized IT company. Most of my employees are young. For some days, I have noticed that there are a few couples in my organization who are in a relationship with each other. I do not have any concern about the type of relationships they have, but now it is affecting the work and the workplace.

They spend more time together in the cafeteria, interact less with other colleagues, and the boy does not like his girl interacting with other boys. This situation is spoiling the working environment. They seem more focused on each other than on the projects. Most of the time, I find them in the cafeteria or on the balcony.

I think I cannot issue warning letters regarding this as it is a part of their personal life, and I cannot tell them not to talk to each other.

Please advise me on how to address this issue before it completely spoils the working environment of my organization. Your help is greatly appreciated.

Take out their roles and responsibilities and review their performances. Make sure that their team leader is there along with you. Ask the team leader to conduct a preliminary round. You can provide feedback on their performances. If you address their performance issues, two outcomes are possible: they will either improve or leave the organization. Both scenarios can be beneficial to you.

Humble Request: This is a simple issue. Please reflect on the situation and analyze why it occurred. Conduct a root cause analysis of the problem; this will lead to potential solutions. If you are still unable to find a solution, feel free to seek assistance. Posts that evoke strong emotions tend to attract more attention than informational ones.

Apologies if I have offended you.

Hi Urvashi,

Yes, you cannot interfere in their personal life. However, as far as the work of the organization is concerned, if it's suffering and they are not fulfilling the expected duties, then you can reprimand them on this issue. Tell them that they are not cooperating with other employees on the projects and also give them a warning, stating that you are least bothered about their personal relationships but will not compromise when it comes to their work.

Regards,

I am new to the HR world, and I'm the only HR of the organization. I can't discuss it with any of my employees, so I thought to discuss this situation here and then take any action. This way, I'll be confident enough that what I'm doing is correct, or I may get any other effective way.

Hi Urvashi Verma,

Couple of questions that strike my mind.

Regarding your work timings and break timings. Do you have leads and managers to take care of young buddies?

I understand these days youngsters are prone to procrastination; fun and games will tempt those lots.

One thing, let me tell you, nothing is personal when it comes to work. We are all professionals and we all have certain duties and responsibilities. We are accountable for all the negative things that creep into organizational culture.

If we are talking about work getting hampered, employees spending time in the cafeteria and balcony rather than on the floor, relationships/affairs in the organization, and projects being affected, I think we need to make a few things clear and bring in a few changes within:

Accountability for Productivity:
Make all employees accountable for their job. We are not being paid for free.

I suggest you call leads and discuss the issues with them. Tell them to handle their teams as per the schedules, make people accountable for productivity. Maybe this is the reason employees are not on the floor most of the time.

Challenges on the Job:
Create challenges on the projects by talking to leads. Create some seriousness, and if required, you will have to let everyone know that unwanted breaks are not acceptable.

If a policy is not there, MAKE A CLEAR POLICY:
Make a policy of break timings/personal affairs, etc., and once you frame the policy, please publish it to all employees. Let them know certain unwanted things are not acceptable on the floor.

Identify people if required who are frequently taking unwanted breaks. Do not encourage this culture of employees taking advantage of work schedules. "A stitch in time saves nine." Once you publish the policy, observe for some time. If things still don't change, pick up people who were identified and call them for a one-on-one friendly meeting first. It doesn't matter if it's a girl or boy.

Speak to them openly and clearly tell them the objectives of the company and make them realize the impact of their behavior on the floor. Even if it doesn't work, then go to the next level of calling in for a serious meeting with that one employee along with their lead and explain the seriousness of the situation.

Even then, if employees don't mend their ways, then you have the right to give one official warning and send an email to that individual along with CC to leads. Once all employees know the seriousness of the required expectations on the job, then I am sure everybody will change.

Sometimes we are forced to take serious action, and one that action is nothing personal but purely on professional grounds. We will have to take it if necessary to make things better for others who are serious, career-centered, and focused people and also for the organizational objective. After all, we don't mind anybody having an affair outside the office or doing anything that is not part of our profession.

Regards

First of all, I would appreciate the solution given by Rkandadai. It will really help to come out with a solution, but I am shocked by the reply and suggestion of Lovebird... "Fire them." Are we working as Human Resource professionals? Can't we understand personal feelings and sentiments? Being human, anybody can fall into such a situation, and as HR professionals, it is our responsibility to make them understand the values of Organisational Climate, Culture, and, of course, the value of office hours. We have to treat them in a very polite way because, as I feel, every single employee is a gem for the organization.

Keep firing them is not a solution. Try to understand the problems and provide a proper cure for the problem; it is the duty of HR personnel, isn't it?

"Directly Fire Those . @@*$)$)#)%$," HORRIBLE ANSWER, I have ever heard in my professional life.

Please treat them as your friend, and believe me, they will understand the importance of their jobs, and you will feel proud when they get back on track. It will also help you boost your morale and confidence. As HR professionals, we will have to face such critical issues and handle them politely.

Ciao

Hi Urvashi,

Have an initial conversation one-on-one with these people. Don't highlight their personal issues, but you can definitely discuss their performance. Before that, ensure that their reporting authorities send them an email regarding pending tasks. This will provide the basis for your conversation. Give them some time, perhaps a month, and inform them that their performance will be under observation. If the problem persists, then you can make the final decision.

Regards,
Kamini

I mentioned this earlier also on CiteHR and also in some of my articles, "If you do your private things in public, then the public has every right to comment and act." In this case, whatever they do on company premises is not their personal matter. Yes, they can have an affair, get married, etc. It hardly matters what they do after working hours or on the weekend, but as long as they are in the office during working hours, they should be doing what they have been asked to do or what has brought them to the company.

I think you should be counseling them; if that is not enough, then warn them, and still if they don't listen, fire them. You cannot keep people who are unable to distinguish between their personal and professional life.

I hope this will help.

Thanks and Regards,

Sanjeev

Dear Urvashi,

Nowadays, this is happening in every organization; I can understand your position being a single HR as I am in the same boat. I feel first you should take their immediate superior into confidence and check their opinion about these guys' performance and interpersonal relationships within the organization. If they are also feeling it and sensing that performance and even team bonds are getting hampered, then ask them to initiate a talk with them by calling for a one-on-one meeting. You need to be a part of such a meeting. After such a meeting, observe whether there are improvements or not. Then, after a gap of 15 days, along with their immediate superior, have a meeting with them one by one and convey the message that management is looking at this very seriously. We will observe the improvements for the next 15 days again and will inform you accordingly. If there is a desirable change and the situation is under control, convey the same message to that employee as well because appreciation is the biggest tool in HR to make people realize their progress on the professional front. But if you find that the situation is twisted into a worse phenomenon, then issue them a warning letter. This will legally help you to take further serious action against them.

Regards,
Mona

Hi Urvashi,

Just keep it as simple as possible. Give them a warning that their relationship in the office premises is creating a disbalance among the other colleagues and having a negative impact on the office environment. They can be good colleagues during office hours, but nothing more than that.

Issue a strict warning to them: "Be dedicated to the office work during office hours; otherwise, there will be consequences - no exceptions."

Even if they refuse to comply, just terminate their employment.

Thank you,
Santosh

Dear Urvashi,

I really agree with RK & Deepak. We should understand the problem. As suggested, put them in different timings/shifts if there is a shift-based system. Or put them into different roles/projects. Put them into different technical training programs if they are not assigned to projects. And convey the company's policies clearly.

Regards,
Pavithra

Hey Urvashi,

Can't you take this up with your manager and discuss the issue? These things are common everywhere, but they should not hamper the workplace, that's all. If it is really getting worse, then it's better to take it to the concerned people to resolve it.

Best regards,
Harish

Hi Urvashi,

I completely agree with Deepak & RK. Some companies actually have policies for employees in the same department who are related. They shift those employees to different departments, verticals, or shifts, as the case may be. I am sure this will help, and I am saying this because I myself have handled a similar situation in my previous organization. It worked! :)

Hope you soon get out of this situation.

Regards,
Supriya

Hi Urvashi!

I agree with RK's opinion, and I also suggest being a strict HR as well. Managing time and culture (by policy) to be followed. This type of behavior will put the organization into problems. Employees have to perform professionally - kaam-se-kaam rakho. Whatever relation anyone has with another, no symptoms should be seen in the organization so couples can enjoy anything outside of and off duty. Remember that you are HR, and you have to act like an HR only. Be rational in your job. You can indeed counsel both to concentrate more on work and also praise their work if they have done well. After giving the opportunity, if they do not change, issue a notice within 74 hours. If there is no change, issue another notice within 24 hours. Remember, if an employee is not following the organization's culture, by doing this, they are engaging in misconduct. You can later terminate them.

Dear Friend,

I think what Peer Saab has mentioned is correct. I mean, you better make each one of them feel that what they are doing is seriously effective for the growth of the company. So, always in such cases, you better handle the situation with the TL of that particular team, which needs to be done now. If such things keep happening, make them understand that nobody gets paid for nothing.

I hope you will try this out to get your problem solved, and you really don't need new ideas to handle such things. Just make sure you have your TL and management with you and go ahead. All the best...

Regards,
Amith R.

Hi all,

First and foremost, please check your company policy to determine if couples are allowed to work together. Then proceed with a counseling session. If that is not fruitful, analyze their performance matrix over the days. Another solution could be to change the role or department of one of the couple if the policy allows for it.

Regards,

Hi,

As far as personal life is concerned, it is after office hours. During office hours, if they are lingering and not working, you can always question.

Regards,
Durga

Hi, I think you don't have a clear-cut policy regarding discipline and HR policy. First, make an authentic policy and discuss it with higher and final authority; disclose all the matters before them. Only some things you can do at your level. Like stick some national and international hero quotes, give advice like a friend, but remember not to be funny because the "Y" theory of Herzberg doesn't always work. If all these don't work, then you can use the "X" theory.

Finally, if you become too sweet, you will become a diabetic patient. If I am wrong, please reply to senior/junior members.

Thanks and Regards,
Dileep
dkgmishra@gmail.com

Dear All,

I believe such issues can be resolved with utmost care. Please consider the following points in this regard:

Firstly, check out their individual performance. In case their performance is falling or they are not achieving their targets, then you can raise this issue to their boss/superior (Team Leader). Make sure this communication comes from their boss via email for record-keeping.

Have a feedback session with these employees. Act as a mentor and counselor by highlighting their achievements and areas for improvement. Additionally, aim to foster team spirit during the feedback session. If female employees are not interacting or coordinating with their male team members, inquire about the reasons. If personal relationships are mentioned, provide practical examples of such situations and their consequences.

Secondly, the company could consider specifying break times, for example, having 2-3 tea breaks during the day, each not exceeding 15 minutes, to minimize interruptions with partners.

Thirdly, the boss should organize a project where female employees work closely with male colleagues to prevent any feelings of possessiveness from partners. The same approach should be applied to male employees.

I agree with Deepak that terminating an employee immediately due to an internal relationship is not advisable. However, if the performance of such employees is satisfactory, a feedback session can be conducted without focusing on performance issues.

Please correct me if I am mistaken.

Hi,

I believe the rules and regulations need to be explained to the couple in order to hold them accountable for their work. Additionally, you should inform them about how their actions may impact their careers and the organization. You can also emphasize that they do not have the right to impede the organization's development.

The couple should be educated on how to manage personal feelings to prevent conflicts with the organization's goals, which are the result of collective effort.

Regards,
Madepalli

Hi,

I think you should have an open discussion with them regarding this. I agree with Deepak's opinion. Even in my company, my fiancé and I are working together, but we always take care to show only a professional relationship within the company. After all, it is our workplace, right?

Hi Urvashi,

It appears to be a case of ineffective delegation of responsibilities and accountabilities. You must understand the root cause and address the issues with their immediate bosses rather than discussing their personal behaviors. Things are going to fall into place.

Regards,
Neeraj

Dear Urvashi,

Before a couple of months, we were sailing on the same boat, but thankfully I have successfully crossed the high tide and reached the safe bank. Well, I adapted the technique of being friendly with the girl and on a personal level, I counseled her that whatever she was doing was wrong and more so in the professional atmosphere. This will not only affect her performance and her impression in this company but will have a negative impact throughout her professional career. In a way, the job market is very wide, but when it comes to such negative issues, they get highlighted and spread out very fast like fire. This fact was not unseen or unknown to the top people.

We have the facility of company-provided transportation, so to give an indirect hint, we changed the vehicle of one of them although the route was the same. The boy was asked to take the vehicle on a different route and manage to reach till that stop on his own. This gave a hint to both of them about their behavior not being liked by anyone. Ultimately, she was bent upon not wanting to heed any good words from anyone. In fact, unfortunately, both of them did not want to give any importance to these signals, and diplomatically the lady was given the proposal of submitting her papers in exchange for 2 months. Thankfully, she understood the signal and quit the organization. This is a completely different issue that although both of them are married, they still continue to maintain their relationship outside our organization - which we give a damn to.

Let's see if this story gives you some idea to tackle your situation.

Wish you all the best, and may some special power give them the insight to decide what is right and what is wrong - at least keeping the place in mind.

Best Regards,

Bharathi.

Hi All,

I also agree with RK, and yes, I think the problem will be solved. I don't think that anyone will behave weirdly after that. If they are continuing to do the same act, then think about whether they want to do it desperately or want you to ask them to quit the job, etc. So, go ahead and talk to them; that is what HR is for. All the best to you. Keep in mind one thing, think empathetically, sympathetically, and still, if no solution, then...

Regards,
Sadhana

Hello Ravi,

As you point out, there should be rules of behavior at work. The rules can be applied to take necessary action. However, there is a problem with assuming more than what the post contains. Our tutor warned us against making assumptions. He said, "Never assume, check facts; as if your assumptions are wrong, you make an 'ASS' of 'U' and 'ME'."

I think I would go with suggestions made by persons like Deepak. Have a nice day.

Narasimhan

Hi,

As this situation is normal in IT and BPO/KPO's where youngsters work, you should have a strict policy on breaks. This will help you solve your major problem. You should divide a team into couples and maintain a difference for lunch breaks for half an hour. This is a common practice in BPO/KPO's, and if any friendships are developing within a team, the individuals should be transferred to another team.

And it really works!

Try it out...!

I agree with the person who says firing won't be the right answer. As HR professionals, our job is to find ways through such situations and not to avoid them. Speaking to them will help, and also, I think using this situation as an advantage will help. You just have to think in a positive way. I don't want to give you a direct answer as it would hamper your creativity. Best of luck.

Dear Urvashi,

I agree with Mr. Peer Mohammad. In my opinion, you cannot interfere in their personal life. However, at the same time, you need to clarify to them that they are in the office (company premises) and the employees have to obey and follow the certain rules and regulations of the organization.

Firstly, check how much time they are wasting. Then, understand their roles, responsibilities, and targets (if applicable). Next, meet with their Head of Department (HOD) and advise, guide, instruct, or suggest to the employee to give their 100% towards their roles and responsibilities in their job.

Furthermore, if there is no existing policy regarding this matter, consider implementing one to prevent any future issues.

I hope this approach will work out for you.

Regards,
Sachin Soni

Hi Urvashi,

I understand that you are facing a challenging situation, and this issue involves a serious discipline concern. You may need to report this to a higher-level authority as the support of Team Leaders/Managers may not be sufficient.

The reason behind this issue is the low engagement levels of the employees at work, allowing them more time for personal matters.

Here are some proposed solutions:
1. Initially, take some time to familiarize yourself with the system before taking any immediate action.
2. Discuss the matter with your supervisor.
3. Engage in a conversation with the Team Leaders/Managers and request them to monitor their employees' engagement levels.
4. Engagement entails reviewing each employee's Key Result Areas (KRA), Key Performance Areas (KPA), or Management by Objectives (MBO).

These steps should be a good starting point for you to address the situation. It is essential to collaborate with managers, gain their trust, and advise them on providing meaningful work to all employees to keep them engaged.

Thank you,
Abhishek

Agree with RK.

But in certain companies, their HR rules state that if anyone marries within the organization, one of the parties has to resign from the job. The idea is to ensure a cordial environment within the organization as there are chances of ego clashes.

Hi,

We definitely do not have anything to poke into their personal life. Definitely, the office decorum cannot be spoiled. You can have a one-on-one discussion with them separately, advise them on the implications on their performance level and their career growth. They are in the adolescent age, and definitely, with such advice, they would go a long way in both their professional and personal life. I had a similar experience which I handled in the same way, and I had succeeded in making both understand the reality of life.

Regards,
Kamakshi

Hi, Urvashi,

I feel (though I am not from HR) that if this is really hampering the work of the organization, then it's better when you can have a daily huddle in the morning. In this huddle, you must set goals for the day for each individual, and the same should be recapped the next day in the morning. Start giving flags to those who are taking initiatives, and those who collect the maximum stars at the end of the month could be rewarded with, let's say, Sodexo passes. I also feel that you must encourage these people to have more bonding between them by participating in their discussions. I know it is easier said than done, but you can include some activities in the break time that create a bond between the team. As you have mentioned, some of the personnel indulge in unprofessional practices; hence, for those, you need to discuss that they are here for achieving the organizational goal rather than following their own agenda.

P.S - Kindly don't start the subject line with statements that attract people interested in topics dealing with male-female intimate relationships. I hope you will not misunderstand me.

Bottom Line: Sometimes you have to be strict to pass your message to some individuals who still carry on with such activities. But never fire a person until it's a severe issue.

Warm Regards,

Annie1

Dear Urvashi,

I am with Mr. Sardar on this issue. Please carry out the root cause analysis of the problem. It is not a complex problem. It could be resolved by effective counseling rather than by issuing warning letters. While counseling, please do not tread into their personal lives as it would defeat the very purpose.

Regards,
Vijay Shitole

Transfer them to another team leader, or possibly change their timings to show their performance.

There is a possibility that such people can start anywhere. Even if they get a new team leader, this menace may not stop.

Dear Urvashi,

I am surprised about the way you feel about the situation and your conflicts in handling the issue. The primary thing to be taken into consideration is that, just like the organization cannot interfere in personal relations, people should also know that any personal relationships should not be allowed to affect the work or work environment. If they don't understand, it is our responsibility to make them understand it.

Naturally, you cannot talk to them about the relationship itself, but you can very well talk to them about how it is affecting their work and the work environment, and make them understand their social responsibilities within the organization, and also how they should draw the line between personal and official relationships.

So, it is better to take them both into your personal cabin and have an open discussion at the earliest.

Regards,
R. Manoj

Hi Urvashi,

I agree with what most of the members say here: make them accountable for their performance and targets and also ensure that they do not break their break timings and reporting timelines.

As Peer saab said, if a professional strictness is shown to these people, they will either be forced to give up their peppy games and focus on work, or resign.

Moreover, if you, as an HR personnel, find such couples going beyond the boundaries of shame, and indulging in smooching or cuddling or some such other activities inside the premises of the Company, you can give them an official warning along with intimation to their reporting managers.

There was one such couple in my previous Company who were turning the workplace into Buddha Garden... and you know: such things never go unnoticed even by the higher level managers. The girl has been kicked out long ago, and the guy, who would have been an Assistant Manager by now had he played his cards right, has been literally made a dog, career-wise. It's a shame how some people ruin good careers by indulging in such stupidity... really a shame.

You are an HR personnel: it should be the other way round: THEY should worry about the consequences of such childish and unprofessional behavior of theirs... you should not lose your sleep over such people.

Regards,

Brandon

Hi Urvashi,

In this situation, you can trace the work of those particular employees or have a detailed discussion with their Team Lead/Manager to get feedback about their work circumstances. If the workload is manageable and they have adequate time to spend with those girls, you can assign them additional work without providing chatting time. This is one approach.

Also, as you are in HR, you have full authority to conduct one-on-one meetings with those individuals. If the situation escalates, it is essential to hold a general meeting addressing the company's status. In the final statement, express your dissatisfaction with the office environment, and so forth.

Just try these suggestions; you will likely find a solution. Please let me know your thoughts on my recommendation.

Thanks,
Jayanthi

Hi Urvashi,

You can't stop attachments/relationships from forming, but you can implement your company's policy on workplace behavior, if you have such a policy. Most companies do. It lays down clear and understandable guidelines on what is acceptable and what is not. Employees are paid to work; romance is not part of the workload. Wasting time on the balcony, etc., means that someone else on the team has to pick up the slack, which is most unfair and very unprofessional.

A clear and frank discussion (separately) is quite in order.

Regards,
PVQ

Hi,

If your employees have so much time to spend with others inside the office, then there should be two reasons. One, the employees have "No Target to work or No work." Two, the HR head is so flexible in discipline management. Make these areas strong and review; definitely, you would succeed.

Urvashi, Urvashi, take it easy, Urvashi. Don't worry, go with RK's opinion first. Later, you may apply a few tricks to stop this practice by the cold-blooded elimination theory. But keep in mind, whenever you hit, it should be purely based on official grounds.

Thanks,
Abhijit

I don't exactly know who you are in the organization (as I am new to this site). If you are a superior person in the organization, you can obviously inform them, rather than order them, not to do something in a diplomatic manner (tell the truth without causing harm). It is your duty to do so, and you are responsible for it.

These types of problems do arise in places where most eligible bachelors and ladies are employed. If the couples show genuine love towards each other in the workplace, they would preferably keep their one-on-one interactions as sacred and would not tend to spoil the working environment around them.

These situations go uncontrolled only in places where there are no policies and guidelines for the employees outlined clearly. If such policies exist, employees will realize their accountability and have the fear of being questioned by the authorities.

Casual counseling will sometimes yield good results for these problems but cannot be considered a definitive solution. This approach could provoke the couple, leading them to question the authority of the individuals attempting to counsel them.

It is better to have detailed policies and procedures regarding timings and moral ethics. If a sample procedure is uploaded to this site, it will be helpful to many.

Best wishes,
Mikegrace02

Madam,

I agree with you. It looks like the new generation 'execs' who 'slog' for FIVE LONG days at the workplace need a big comic relief and keep clacking about this great topic. God save them, and our forum. We have loads of items of greater importance.

Hi Urvashi Verma,

This is a very normal issue in an organization.

My Suggestions:
1. If you work closely with an employee from day one, you can...
2. Now, take both of their responsibilities and go through them.
3. Assign a task to complete against their responsibilities.
4. After the completion of the task, don't try to prove they are non-performers; make them realize by speaking personally about the result.
5. Ensure in the future as well...
6. If not, find a reason for their performance and consider termination.
7. Sorry to say, if this continues, the entire organization will suffer.
8. You might be in a risky position when answering to your management.

Kindly reply to my email for my understanding in this case.

Regards,
Karthick.E.M.

"People will not always believe what you say. People will always believe what you do."

Dear friend,

This is really going to spoil the environment of the company. It would be better if you inform them that these kinds of activities are not expected during work hours. Time and again, both of you are observed together, and this sets a precedent for others to do the same. You should focus on your work and do whatever you want, but do so outside the campus, not even in the cafeteria. We are not going to involve ourselves in your personal life, but when it concerns the organization, policies and rules are to be followed, regardless of whoever is involved. If not, be prepared for the consequences. If you do not care about us, we will hardly care too.

Shantanu.K.J.

Hi all,

The 'couple' matter is getting too complicated. Of course, we are all HR professionals who aim to adhere to the rules and regulations and maintain the company culture. Undeniably, this issue is a serious one that can have far-reaching consequences. True!

However, that is not all. In addition to being HR personnel, we must wear many different hats. We should approach situations not only as HR practitioners but also as psychologists, investigators, counselors, siblings, leaders, team members, friends, family members, and, above all, address human problems with compassion.

Simply hiring and firing is not the ultimate solution; in fact, we may find ourselves less fulfilled if terminations become a frequent occurrence. Despite receiving payment for our work, what true satisfaction do we derive when our efforts in recruitment are nullified through subsequent dismissals?

Therefore, it is crucial to handle grievances or any issues related to employees' behavior delicately, ensuring they are treated with dignity. Most importantly, maintain strict confidentiality in all matters you handle. It is imperative that other team members are not privy to such information. Failure to do so may result in termination news spreading through grapevine channels before HR can respond or issue a memo.

Having managed numerous incidents in a BPO office in Chennai, I thought it beneficial to share my experiences with you.

Regards,
Chandru

First of all, I would appreciate the solution given by Rkandadai. It will really help to come up with a solution, but I am shocked by the reply and suggestion of Lovebird, "Fire them." Are we working as Human Resource professionals? Can't we understand personal feelings and sentiments? Being human, anybody can fall into such a situation, and as HR professionals, it is our responsibility to make them understand the values of Organizational Climate, Culture, and, of course, the importance of office hours. We have to treat them in a very polite way because, as I feel, every single employee is a gem for the organization.

Continuously firing them is not a solution. Trying to understand the problems and providing a proper solution is the duty of HR personnel, isn't it? "Directly fire those. @@*$)$)#)%$," is a horrible answer, I have ever heard in my professional life. Please treat them as your friend, and believe me, they will understand the importance of their jobs, and you will feel proud when they get back on track. It will also help boost your morale and confidence, as in HR, we have to face such critical issues and handle them politely.

Mr. Dwidi, I am not satisfied with the answer you have given. I have also been in the HR field for the last 19 years. The workplace is not meant for any employee's love affair. We are here for work. This trend of employees meeting for sexual desires is becoming very concerning in India. This needs to be completely banned in the workplace. If you want love, go somewhere else. The workplace is solely meant for work. I hope you do not misunderstand me.

With regards to all,
Shish Ram Uniyal

I am new to the HR world, and I'm the only HR of the organization. I can't discuss it with any of my employees, so I thought to discuss this situation here and then take any action so I'll be confident enough that what I'm doing is correct or may I get any other effective way.

Guess you are at the right place for your queries. Personal life is personal when work is not the leading cause for you to be in a place, in this case, your office. I believe they should be well warned about this, if the team leader, as Mr. Peer Mohammed Sardar has quoted, keeps track of their performance and reports to you as below expectations. You would not have to worry about anything in doing the right thing at the right time. But I suggest not getting too personal about their relationship as long as you are professionally dealing with it.

Regards,
Jain

A case of personal behavior affecting work is not good for any organization. Please review their performance reports and conduct one-on-ones with those who are reluctant to engage outside their immediate circle to assist in executing work. Make it clear that the office space is designated for work, and socializing should take place outside of working hours.

I faced a similar situation where the girl had a problem with one of her colleagues and she did not trust anybody else than this guy. Everybody doubted their relationship. In the end, this case went to a Senior GM, where the truth came out, and further action was taken. Now, everything is back to normal.

Yep, I too agree with RK's suggestion. It's time to make a clear policy and let all employees know every content very clearly.

Hi,

Quite an interesting subject. You can do the following:

1. First, talk one-on-one with both individuals at different times.
2. Seek their involvement.
3. Obtain all the information from their reporting officers about the project, work, collaboration, and other relevant details.
4. Clearly communicate to them that their incomplete work is not only detrimental to themselves but also to the entire organization.
5. Try to gather information from their colleagues about their family relationships (ensuring confidentiality) and their family backgrounds.

Most importantly, understand why they are regressing.

Prasanna
Email: gvprasanna11@gmail.com

Hi Deepak,

I cannot agree more on this. I guess a real "HR professional" would not have FIRING as his only solution.

Urvashi,

As much as you would not want to be bothered by a relationship between two people, you are clearly bogged down and increasing its intensity. If it is hampering the team dynamics, then I would suggest you check to what extent it is impacting the productivity of the individual and the team. If it is really low and needs utmost importance, then please meet them one-on-one (and not together) and discuss this.

It's a sincere request that you do not converse regarding the relationship in this meeting. What they want to make out of their life is their lookout. I think all of us have personal ambitions and goals. As long as it does not affect our professional life, it's fine. But once it does, someone should point it out! Hope this helps!

Regards, Priyanka

First of all, I would appreciate the solution given by Rkandadai. It will really help to come up with a solution, but I am shocked by the reply and suggestion of Lovebird... "Fire them". Are we working as Human Resource professionals? Can't we understand personal feelings and sentiments? Being a human, anybody can fall into such a situation, and being the HR professional, it is our responsibility to make them understand the values of Organisational Climate, Culture, and of course, the valued office hours. We have to treat them in a very polite way because, as I feel, every single employee is a gem for the organization.

Keep firing them is not a solution. Try to understand the problems and provide a proper cure for the problem; it is the duty of HR personnel, isn't it? "Directly Fire Those ..." HORRIBLE ANSWER, I have ever heard in my professional life. Please treat them as your friend, and believe me, they will understand the importance of their jobs, and you will feel proud when they get back on track. It will also help you boost your morale and confidence. As HR professionals, we will have to face such critical issues and have to handle them politely.

Ciao

Hi,

It is common nowadays to see young couples engaging in such behavior, but it is important to note that even married individuals may also be involved in affairs. In such cases, it is necessary to first address them regarding their job roles and responsibilities. Subsequently, if it is observed that they continue with the same behavior, they should be spoken to about adhering to break timings and the impact their actions have on others and the company. It is likely that others in the workplace will gossip about the situation.

Before making any decisions, it is advisable to gather feedback from other personnel in the department. Labor laws do not typically allow termination based on the aforementioned circumstances. If the individuals are sincere, it should be suggested that one of them seeks employment elsewhere for the benefit of both parties and their future.

While counseling may be a viable solution, it is possible that they may not heed the advice as love can blind individuals, and they might not appreciate interference from others.

Hi,

You need to take this issue very seriously. Talk to their PL/TL and involve him/her. Counsel the couple separately as well as jointly. If things don't improve, send them a written note. If they don't desist from their routine, you need to show them the door. That will serve as a warning to others.

One thing has to be made absolutely clear to all employees: this kind of behavior would not be tolerated and would be tackled ruthlessly.

Regards,
Daleep (doctor57)

---

Hi,

These days, I am facing a new problem in my company which is of a different kind, and I am not finding a way out of this.

I am working in a medium-sized IT company, and most of my employees are young. Recently, I have noticed that there are a few couples in my organization who are in relationships with each other. I don't have any concerns about what kind of relationships they have, but it is now affecting work and the workplace.

They spend more time together in the cafeteria and are interacting less with other colleagues. Additionally, the boy seems to dislike it when his girl interacts with other boys, leading to a negative impact on the working environment. They appear to be more focused on each other than on their projects.

Most of the time, I find them in the cafeteria or on the balcony. I believe I cannot issue warning letters regarding this as it is a part of their personal lives, and I cannot tell them not to talk to each other.

Please advise me on how to resolve this issue before it completely disrupts the working environment of my organization. Your help is much appreciated.

Hi Urvashi,

I believe it would be better if you talked to them directly. Have an open-door conversation with them. This will help you understand why they are behaving unprofessionally. It will also allow you to communicate what you expect from them. While this may seem simple, it is important to approach it with care.

Take care and keep smiling.

Regards,
Disha

You have every right to find fault with them for spending their office time on balconies and in the cafeteria. You can call them individually or collectively and give them a bit of advice not to indulge in wasting their work time in chit-chatting. If they repeat this despite your warning, you will have to issue them a memo and call for their explanations as to why disciplinary action should not be taken.

Hi Deepak,

I agree with you on "Firing them" not being a solution to the problem. After all, retention of employees is an important duty of HR.

But looking at the problem now...

It's true the organization or representatives of the management do not and cannot hold ties on the personal lives of employees. But is conduct at the workplace not part of service rules and regulations? Is it not the responsibility of every employee not to expose their personal relationships at their workplace?

And what is the impact their behavior is going to cause on their colleagues? Especially the other females at the office? And what is the situation if their work is interlinked with that of the other departments? Their negligence and procrastination would obviously be hindering the workflow of the entire organization. It creates irritation and restlessness in the other employees as they cannot voice their opinions on issues that the management has not bothered to put a check on, and it stings them to see that employees with bad character are equally considered for appraisals with other sincere employees. Such characters usually find a way out to manage their TL's or Managers.

I sincerely feel that if such acts are not questioned at the right time, lots of disturbances will occur at later stages. Sorry if I overreacted, but I have seen one such case where I work. They changed the whole scenario of the organization.

Talk to them immediately.

Prashanti

Sir,

I have newly joined this forum. I am working as an HR Executive in an IT company. It's a small-sized company. When I joined this company, I was a fresher in the HR field, and I started my MBA (HR). When I was in Delhi, I was working in an MNC as a customer care officer, and I have seen how the employees used to work. I tried to give my ideas to the company where I am working right now about how to maintain employee relations, but nothing was done. Since the beginning, they gave me the task of recruiting people; apart from that, nothing else as the company is small, so the requirement is also not much. Two months ago, they hired a Senior HR, but he is not able to communicate with the employees as I used to, and still, they come to me and share their problems. Now, that Senior HR unnecessarily scolds me for speaking to employees, and moreover, he does not know how to speak with women. There are a couple of issues that came up because of him, but no action has been taken. Now, the thing is, as it is a small company, there is nothing much to do. Please help me. Please suggest some good books so that I can enhance my knowledge. And tell me how to deal with this guy.

Thanks,
Payal 🌟

Hi Urvashi,

I know it's a tough situation where you can't terminate them from the job or even leave them as they are because it would definitely affect the working environment. In my opinion, I think you should first talk to them personally and tell them that whatever relationship they are sharing should not be a show-off during working hours. In the office, you should be like a colleague; after office hours, it's totally up to you how you live. If they still don't understand that, then give them a warning and implement some policies regarding office protocols and their performance.

Regards,
Vismay🌟

Dear Urwashi,

You can refer to the company's policy and check if any policies are violated. If you still feel that the current policies are affecting the company's environment and hindering its growth, then after consulting with your colleagues, you can modify the policy to ensure a healthy work environment is maintained.

Regards,
Vyakhya

Hi,

Your concern is very genuine. Nowadays, young people tend to engage in casual relationships without understanding the seriousness behind them. This trend has led to numerous incidents, particularly in the IT/BPO industry.

As suggested, implementing clear and thoughtful policies can help eliminate such problems within the organization. To address your issue, you may need to take on a slightly more proactive role by monitoring individuals. Keep track of how often they are seen in common areas like the cafeteria or balcony, noting the time they spend there. Subsequently, approach them individually and inform them that their behavior has been noticed by top management.

Clearly communicate that inappropriate conduct in the office will not be tolerated and encourage them to nurture their relationships outside of work premises. Once your policy is finalized, consider drafting a comprehensive circular for all employees to reinforce the message you wish to convey.

Best regards,
Kamlesh Kanojia

Hi Urvashi,

This is very common in young/growing companies. According to the laws of nature, getting attracted to the opposite sex is very natural. When it comes to work, one has to differentiate between personal and professional life.

It is very obvious here as to what you are facing. Please try to deal with this situation very tactfully as this is one experience that you will face repeatedly in any organization. As the HR of the company, it is your responsibility and duty to ensure that the company's policies are not broken. Please call either one from any of the so-called couples and talk to them on a one-on-one basis. Also, please ensure that you have their immediate seniors or a third person present while you talk to them. This is just to safeguard yourself. It is obvious that all this will be denied as they will be taken aback by the embarrassment that they will suffer while you talk to them in the presence of their senior or some third party. The presence of another person also ensures that you are not quoted wrongly in case the matter does not seem to be heading in a positive direction.

I have had to go through this in the past, and trust me, not only does it work well, but it also sends out a signal to the others that they are being watched. You should start seeing results immediately.

Hope this helps.

Regards,
Ashfaq

Hi,

Thank you for addressing the new issue in HR. It is not a personal matter if employees are accountable for their work and are simply wasting time either on the balcony or in the cafeteria. I believe the HR department has clearly provided induction and orientation training at the time of joining, during which all details are covered, including tea and lunch times. If employees are found in the balcony or cafeteria after break time, please consider maintaining a manual register that the security card can update to track the number of people leaving and at what times. After 10 days, gather the data on how much time each employee has been away and then approach the employee in a friendly manner to discuss. If the issue persists, you can send a warning email to the employee, copying their reporting boss.

I hope this approach will help resolve the problem.

Regards,
Mukesh

I agree with deepak....

Dear Urvashi,

Firstly please check if there is any substance to this matter or they are only rumors. Secondly, evaluate their performance, if they are good/ averages then you have an option of “job rotation” by shifting them into different departments/ sections/ shifts. Thirdly, if you find any change in their performance, office environment, then matter will resolve there itself. Otherwise you can give them a verbal warning (each personally). But do keep your MD/ CEO loop/updated in regards to above said/done.

Rgds,
deeps

Hi Urvashi,

Yes, I too feel that the best way is to talk to them and tell them that it is being noticed by many people and can hamper their performance if they do not concentrate on their work and give more time to it.

Regards,
Garima Mittal

Hi Urvashi,

Please note the following things:

1. Try to observe their performance, including their previous performances, and also locate their personal files.

2. Find out the targets being assigned to them versus results.

3. Also, check out the outcomes.

4. Find out the weak areas and highlight the same to the immediate reporting manager and the next-level manager. You can only resolve this issue by doing these kinds of things. You need to have sufficient proof of background in this activity. If not proven, you will be in trouble. Kindly remember this.

However, I suggest you do not interfere in their personal lives. After all, we as HR are concerned only with their targets, roles, and responsibilities.

There are numerous ways to prove this. However, this needs to be presented with a lot of proofs.

Regards,
Srinivas Gannavarapu

Hi Urvashi Verma,

Do you have any policy regarding the break and cafeteria timings? If yes, then issue a memo about it. If not, create a circular outlining the timings and specify that strict adherence is mandatory. Failure to comply will result in serious action by management.

The company provides a salary for the work employees are expected to perform. If they do not meet performance expectations, their duties will be reassigned.

As HR personnel, it is necessary to take strict action against those who disrupt the company's discipline.

Regards,

Maharana

Hi,

I am also facing a quite similar problem, but the issue is that employees are spending more time in the cafeteria. I have approached a few people and asked them not to sit for long hours as this is affecting the work culture of our organization. Let's see the result of good communication. I think the best way to solve a problem is through communication. :)

Hi Urvashi,

Please don't worry about such problems because they could happen in some organizations, but they can become problematic legally, and you can't interfere in their personal issues. Sometimes we also face such problems, but we take care to focus not on their personal issues but on their responsibilities and duties.

So, analyze their performance, pending tasks, time management, leisure time, and you may issue a letter addressing these topics only. I hope that you will find a solution.

Raj
Lucknow

I think I agree with RK. Don't delay in your action, what you decide to do, otherwise, it shall be late. Make them accountable for what they have to do in the office.

Regards,
Rakesh

Hi all,

I joined after a long Fundoo Break. Yes, I agree in totality with Sridhar that one must check with the TLs first and assess if the work is being hampered or not, and not disturb the love birds if everything is fine, rather than burning your fingers unnecessarily.

Thanks,
Vj

Hi Urvashi,

This is not only your problem, but it is very common in today's scenario, especially in the IT and BPO sectors. As you have mentioned, they spend most of their time in the cafeteria and don't allow their partners to talk to others. You need to counsel them for this situation. Give their relationship direction and set up a healthy work environment because it has been seen in some organizations that sometimes such relationships are fruitful for the company. It leads to a decrease in absenteeism and attrition rates. However, counseling and reviewing their assignments/projects are a must. Your decisions should not make them feel that you are interfering in their personal lives and should not come at the cost of productivity.

Daleep Sharma

Hi,

I know it's a tough situation as you are the only HR managing this, but I completely agree with RK and Deepak. In my opinion, firing people is not a solution. However, you can definitely present this issue to their team managers, analyze all the above-mentioned ideas, and make a final decision.

In this kind of situation, my suggestion is to meet all of them individually and inform them about the company policy, professional environment, career growth, their job description, and position, etc. Also, explain how it's going to affect their future growth if they do not behave professionally in the workplace. Take their suggestions on how the workplace could be improved to make them feel important, and thank them in advance for their cooperation. At the same time, provide a strict work schedule with deadlines by coordinating with their managers. Keep track of their activities. I am sure things will change. Thanks.

HI,
I am a prehistoric creature in the job line, so I can say out of my experience through all these years, this here is the very best advice and should be considered! This kind of behaviour happens all the time all over the world, some are dealt with severely, some are overlooked because of the managements lack of experience how to handle it, but I would say this here would be the way to go.
Regards
ED

I am also in agreement with RM. Firing someone is not the solution for this problem; it can create dissatisfaction among your other employees. So, sit with them and try to make them understand what the corporate culture is and how they should behave as professionals.

Is there anyone who can brief me about the recent changes in ESIC forms procedure? I have noticed that Form 6 has become Form 5, and a Chartered Accountant's signature is needed. I want to know why.

Please reach out to me at [dee4u_jeet@yahoo.com](mailto:dee4u_jeet@yahoo.com) or reply in this site.

Hi Urvashi,

I would suggest that you personally have a discussion with each person, and the discussion should be straight to the point but in a friendly way.

Hi Urvashi,

I would suggest that you personally have a discussion with each. The discussion should be straight to the point. Mention professional life and personal life. Since you don't have the right to interfere in their personal life, similarly, they don't have the right to bring their personal life into professional life during working hours.

Performance should be one of the points included in the discussion. You can mention that because of their behavior, they are not only disturbing or hampering the working environment but also affecting their own performance negatively.

It also seems that your office has flexible timings and offers a lot of freedom to employees. Taking this into consideration, you can tell them that you don't want to impose strict rules and policies. This approach will help them understand that they are creating problems, and they should avoid repeating such behavior in the future.

Regards

Well, friend, I say in dealing with this approach, ask them to separate their work from their love issue. Tell them you value them and want them to keep working there. Be fatherly in your approach. Now let me tell you this: they are good for the working environment because true love brings many positive things and it affects others in a positive way. Tell me, do you want an environment blessed by hard, cold beings or loving beings? Cheers.

Dear Urvashi,

What about company rules, performance appraisals, and team management? You know I will quote the example of my director. He made sure we worked in teams we were not familiar with. It did stir up things, but it also got the work done. I know it doesn't always work, but then you have company rules, break times.

You can try the following:
Check the company rules. If they are there for timings, breaks, etc., then circulate them through mail as an attachment. Keep your boss informed verbally and also attach a CC copy to him/her. Others will know that those above you are not in the dark. If there are no rules or minimum, take your boss in confidence and frame them. They should be consistent throughout the organization. Be sure to follow them yourself because you lead by example.

Step 2: Circulate guidelines on office etiquette and behavior. Try to make them as general as possible, but the message should convey that such behavior is no longer taken lightly by the management. Check the response. At this stage, the grapevine plays an important role if you know how to use it.

Step 3: If things do not improve, check the performance of all and not only these two. I am sure you will be able to nail them. After all, love came later, work came first. If the work suffers, so will the job, and so will such a relationship. You may get a chance, based on work, to tell them that they are losing their grip on their work.

If things still do not improve, then be courageous. Call them separately and tell the guy that if his performance drops, his popularity in his personal life could drop too. He must concentrate on his work. He will give all kinds of reasons, including that he knows how to manage things. The gal may also say you are jealous, etc. But remember, sometimes when soft treatments don't work, we have to take the bitter pill. Good treatments are nearly always bitter. The seed will be sown well in his mind, and things will improve overnight.

So, don't tell them they should stop or not talk or anything else, but sometimes the realization of reality is a must. The reality is that professional girls and not-so-professional girls, at the end of the day, expect their partner to be serious with work and at least moderately ambitious in their career.

Hello, Urvashi.

Please remember you are dealing with human resources/capital, an important asset. Faced with a situation you have stated, would require a polite and firm approach to put the house in order, definitely not a harsh one. Simply firing (harsh dealing), though an easy way out, piggybacks cascading ill effects in the long run for the company. It is not a solution. Conversely, informing, counseling, and having a deep-seated understanding of human behavior (psychology) and the way the employer (you) encourages/discourages employees to give their best performance for the company is crucial.

Employees will be productive assets provided they are made to feel part of the organization and the ambiance prevailing in the workplace, the way they are encouraged, or suppressed to perform. Set targets for each individual/team to be achieved within a stipulated time, allowing the freedom to achieve it within the company's rules and regulations governing discipline. Develop a personal rapport with each individual to build confidence.

Let the Team Leader allocate tasks for the day, measure the performance. As long as the tasks are achieved by the end of the day, other aspects should not be bothering you. By following these steps, you will be able to build a good organizational work culture without compromising your company's goals/objectives. You may be new/alone in deciding on such matters. What I have stated is in general, based on the situation narrated.

Solutions are available on a long-term and short-term basis, depending on the ground realities. You need to apply the solution relevant to the situation.

Warm Regards,
Nijampure

Hi Madam,

Someone said to fire those employees, but that's not a proper solution for the problem because these days, getting an employee is very simple and easy, but retaining them is very difficult. You know how much the organization spends on their training and development. Just like that, you can't fire those employees even if the matter is not in your hands. You have to find where the problem arises and how that is affecting the productivity of the organization and the performance of an individual. Have a performance and potential appraisal. Make them realize where they are. Being HR professionals, we need to be patient enough and have the ability to tackle the problem. Find out the morale of those employees. Sit with them and discuss the problems, but don't give advice; give counseling. That's better than advice.

Thank you.

Hi Urvashi Verma,

Firstly, make them understand the purpose of work along the time span. Secondly, assign them their roles and responsibilities with targets, and then see the results.

This is what I would advise to do:

Make them understand that what they do in their own free time is their business, but what they do during work hours reflects on the company. They need to be professional and work with ethics and integrity at the workplace. Typically, you would share the message very broadly in either a team meeting or in an email, stating professional ethics at the workplace or sharing a PowerPoint presentation around professionalism at the workplace. If you see employees continuing to do the same after the note and sharing, then you would call them for a coaching conversation and indicate gently but firmly to follow professionalism at work. This is tough, but you have to do this; otherwise, this behavior could spread, and more people will start to take things casually.

Hope this helps.

Anand

Hi,

Like motivational posters, paste some quotes in the cafeteria that will help employees concentrate on their work. For example: "Office for each other, not to make, made for each other" and "I feel happy to be in the cafeteria after finishing my work." Please think of something and share. Don't directly hurt their feelings as it may be taken the wrong way.

With regards,
Partha

Dear Urvashi,

You simply take their counseling session for maintaining the culture of office etiquettes, firstly individually and then if required collectively. I hope it will definitely work. The things like a warning letter or firing come at the remote stage.

Regards,
Bhartendu

Hi Urvashi,

If they are in the same project, then split them into other projects, give them the deadline of the project, and create challenges in their project. Put them into separate shifts. I believe we need to handle the situation softly without hurting, perhaps by helping them understand the values and culture. If I am wrong, please correct me.

Regards

Hi,

Being a human being, everyone has the right to love. I can understand the problem, but I don't think firing them on target bases will be a solution. Talk to them and motivate them to work. This is not a feeling that remains forever; therefore, it is not an incurable problem. So, will it be fair enough to lose good employees?

Thank you.

I think new young employees should understand that they have left student life and enter into a professional environment. Building relationships is not a problem, but wasting company time for which they are paid and disturbing the culture of the organization is a problem that can encourage other employees as well.

1st Step: I agree that "FIRE" is not a solution to the problem, but you need to counsel these employees in front of their HODs/Section heads and discuss the issue.

2nd Step: If the problem is still not resolved, issue them a warning letter.

3rd Step: Change shift timings if possible or consider transferring them.

4th and Final step: "FIRE" (For a few employees, we can't spoil the culture of our organization.)

Regards,
Rajesh Kumar