Navigating Workplace Friendships: How to Handle When Personal Ties Affect Team Performance

Hi All,



I wish to discuss about a situation whereupon a company has hired a couple people in various departments on the same level. They were, then, trained as per company's requirement and were put on to live work. After a couple of months best performers were identified and promoted as leaders. All the members of the team were also happy with the company's decision because the performance of selected candidates was unquestionable.



Now the situation takes a turn. Of those four people who got promoted to a leadership position, one male leader and a female leader from two departments became intimate friends over the period of time.



Up till now the management was extremely happy with the performance of all the leaders but ever since these two leaders created a mess between their professional and the personal relationship, things have changed. If I exclude their day to day affair I can summarize the overall issue as follows:



(1) The performance of those two guys has gone down. I am talking about overall performance.

(2) They often become bias for each other for any decision that goes against any of them and they declare open support to each other even if people know that they are not right.

(3) Their mixed up relationship have affected the overall morale of rest of the team

(4) HR Department has tried all the known means including counseling, issue specific discussion, showing their performance chart – which is obviously showing negative trends, and warning them that if things are not improved it is possible that they will be forced step down. But nothing is coming out. Every effort to convince them to separate this mix up has gone to vain.



This is a typical case of male-female friendship but with some less intensity this may also happen in case of male-male friendship. I am sure almost all the organizations may have experienced this type situation and may have tackled it in their own way. I, therefore, invite members' thoughts on this issue so that we can obtain some hints to have a better control on this specific human behavior.



Philip

Hi Philip,

How are you?

Nice topic you have given to discuss. Bundle of thanks to you.

I will give some points as below:

1) Being a professional, we have to concentrate on professional relations only, but it turns into personal. Nothing is wrong with this because first, they are human, and after that, professional.

2) If it turns into personal and affects the company's productivity and environment, please counseling is required to not do so. Despite all efforts, if they are not bothered, please take appropriate action as per company policy.

3) If possible, please transfer such employees to a different branch or assign separate work so both will not come into discussion/contact.

4) If possible, please suggest marriage as early as possible. If they are not listening, please try to make them separate in another section or unit. This advice applies in the case of Male-Female relationships, but in the case of same-gender relationships, don't hesitate to transfer them to other units.

5) They are good performers, but if they are causing damage to the company's image or productivity, please issue a show-cause notice based on performance and take appropriate action.

6) I suggest a rough way (If we terminate them, nothing is wrong in organizational interest).

Welcome to other members for their views.

Regards,

Sidheshwar

Hi Philip,

You tried to find a solution by exploring all possible avenues. Therefore, the 6th suggestion in Sidhu's response is 100% suitable for the given situation. As HR personnel, we cannot overlook a prolonged decline in an employee's performance, especially when they show no signs of responding to our efforts to help them improve.

Regards,
Manju

Hi Philip,

I would like to share these random thoughts that came to mind as I read your thought-provoking post.

My view is that perhaps part of this issue has been perpetuated by promoting individuals not based on competencies but rather on performance. For example, the best performer does not necessarily make the best leader. It is natural to assume that those in leadership positions have the intellect to understand the cause and effect of their behavior on themselves, the team, and the organization.

Human nature being what it is, you cannot control what constitutes attraction. Often in North American corporate settings, relationship behaviors are covered in a code of conduct/behavior. This is signed off and agreed to with a full understanding of the corporate steps that would be mandated should a relationship develop. The responsibility lies with the immediate supervisor to separate the two individuals into different departments where undue influence cannot be employed.

The corporate image, notwithstanding, should focus on addressing poor performance on an individual basis. It is essential to forget about the relationship and deal with the poor performance objectively, processing the issue based on facts rather than emotions.

Based on your post, this situation would not be an issue if the performance were strong. While I acknowledge there are cultural differences, business is business. You will never prevent other employees from having an opinion on what is morally correct based on their value system. However, what the organization needs to demonstrate is action to address performance.

If you remove the personal relationship from the equation, it still comes down to performance.

The lack of corporate action is likely at the root of poor morale. What a corporation permits, they promote. This situation will likely arise again, emphasizing the importance of strong HR intervention, strategies, policies, and processes for the organization.

The bigger question for me is why HR and the immediate boss have hesitated in taking appropriate action on poor performance.

I am quite sure I have not added any additional value to this discussion, but thank you for allowing my two cents.

JEV