Feeling Sidelined at Work: How Do You Handle Being Overlooked and Misunderstood?

I also agree with Sanjeev. What he has said could also be the issue. It's a bit painful thought, but it could be very much a possibility.

This is in response to a message on Office politics written as under:

"I have been working for an organization for the past 1 year wherein most of the time I'm idle. Whenever I approach my boss for additional responsibilities to utilize my skill set fully, he gives a cold shoulder by questioning my interpersonal skills, such as by saying that I am not getting along with other people and so on. However, most of the time, I have observed that he is the one who sidelines me, giving others the impression that I am not important at all. This, in turn, gives them the freedom to talk rudely to me. When I respond assertively, they succeed in portraying me as not being a good team player. What should I do?"

I strongly suggest you analyze your strengths and weaknesses first and have a one-on-one dialogue with your boss to understand his expectations from you. Begin executing on those expectations. In the meantime, you should also explore opportunities in other departments within your organization or laterally based on your strengths. Try to make a move within the next six months to avoid facing the same situation again.

I think your boss is correct to some extent. Please make an effort to socialize with people. Engage in conversations with them during your free time, focusing on work-related topics rather than politics. Since your office is small, any discussions or actions can quickly reach your boss. Additionally, remember that others within the office may also communicate with your boss about you, considering you are all employees there. If your boss is suggesting improvements in interpersonal skills, there must be a reason behind it.

Consider adjusting your behavior if you are not very communicative with other employees. Avoid being rude to anyone and refrain from underestimating others. I am offering you advice, so please do not interpret my words negatively.

Following these steps, I am confident that your boss will increase your responsibilities. If not, consider utilizing your idle time for self-improvement by studying and enhancing your knowledge in your field. If needed, explore opportunities in other jobs or companies. However, before making any decisions to switch jobs, ensure you do not abruptly leave your current job.

With warm regards,
gbm_pampi

Thanks everybody.

Many of you here have suggested that I should mingle with the rest. I have noted it all. However, I know this is not going to be that easy, as it has been a year that I have remained isolated. My frequent approaches to my boss have also yielded some results, as he has asked one of the front office staff to come up with an effective plan for me. Even after they have been briefed about my involvement from now on, I still feel left out. I say this because I have always noticed that they do not invite me to anything; they simply ignore me during gatherings.

I hope good days come to me soon and last forever.

Dear, I'm suffering from the same situation. However, I made one big mistake by complaining about my boss to our CEO. Our CEO is good. I asked him in front of the CEO if I'm not capable, if my performance is going down, if he has any problem with me. He responded with a no. Then I simply asked him why he is playing games with me if I'm not wrong. Now everything is okay on my side. Let's see how many days it will work. Don't worry, talk to him, and don't change jobs if the company is good.

Hi,

I feel you should not waste your potential in this organization. If you are willing to work and there is no job responsibility assigned to you, it will erode your enthusiasm to work, and it will also not help you learn anything.

Don't waste your time and look for a change.

This is all a matter of seniority, which always persists in people who are in higher authority, older, or who have the fear of replacement. That's the only reason he is behaving like this. You should also adapt the same and see the result.

Hello Pleasehelp,

I have one friend like you only. She wants to be a center of attraction, always wants to be pampered, wants everybody to run behind her to help her but doesn't want to listen to anybody. She discusses her problems with us, but when we try to give her some solutions, she always tries to prove us wrong as if we are all fools. She always thinks that only she is correct.

I went through all the stuff of this post and come to the conclusion that you are like my that friend.

I think HRProp is trying to tell you this in soft words. I am sorry I also don't want to be harsh on you, only want to suggest you that before blaming anybody else, please! please!! please!!! look into yourself and try to be positive and friendly with others in the office.

Your boss might have been judging your capabilities and skills by giving you small assignments. The only problem with him is, he is not good enough in communicating that to you. Just give him some time; I am sure he has a perfect career plan for you with him.

Dear, just think about how all others are good with the boss and why only you have different feelings about him?

Start looking for a better job and be clear about your job responsibilities. It seems you yourself are not clear about your objectives. Remember, for good employees, there are plenty of jobs. Before you really become idle, start looking for a good job. Well, all jobs are good; it is our perception. The work you have been given, do it in an excellent way. Make a written report and send a carbon copy to your bosses. Gradually, you will realize that you start working and simultaneously look for another job. Okay, all the best.

Priyanka

Hi guys,

It is a persistent problem in all organizations, and as an employee, one has to meet these challenges by considering them as an opportunity for learning, focusing on their skills, and moving forward. This situation may also be faced by your boss if they are in middle or upper-middle management, and they too need to follow the same principle of taking these challenges as an opportunity for learning and moving forward. Please note that all bosses are not as bad as you might be thinking; it is a question of their experience in facing such challenges as an opportunity and moving forward. If this cycle continues, I think you will become a perfect boss to your subordinates going forward, and they, in turn, will become perfect bosses to their subordinates and so on.

Hello Pleasehelp,

You are not clear on what the problem is between you and your boss. Either you have avoided sharing with us, or if you introspect your behavior, performance, quality of work, or job knowledge, you will find the answers to what may be major issues. You may be searching for answers for the wrong reasons. Your peculiar tendencies or complex personality may have caused the issue.

Some guidelines need to be followed to maintain decorum and self-discipline to improve your image.

I would like to advise the following:

1. Change your attitude by greeting people with a smiling face in the morning.
2. Prepare your agenda for the day and memorize those assignments in the order of preference for execution.
3. Interact with people in the office and show your interest in your work by involving your colleagues in discussions on the topic.
4. Keep motivating yourself and do not expect people around you to motivate you; be positive.
5. Strive to be a perfectionist and verify the output of your assignments twice before forwarding them to the boss so they can be replied to immediately.
6. Avoid silly characters in the office and participate in management discussions or bring new ideas to improve the current status of your job.

Something positive will develop in the coming three months; you just need to focus and believe in your above strategy. Do not expect immediate results; it will take time.

I would like to share the following from our citeHR. Mr. John posted this in another topic, and it is appropriate to express here:

"A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to, and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

'Here's what you do,' said the doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone, see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away; let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone, he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife, and repeats, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Still no response.

Next, he moves into the dining room, where he is about 20 feet from his wife, and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again, he gets no response. So he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again, there is no response. So, he walks right up behind her. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

'James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!'

Moral of the story: The problem may not be with the other person as we always think; it could be very much within us..!"

Regards,

Sawant

I really don't know when you posted this thread and whether or not you will read this post. Firstly, I really don't think the adjustment problem is with you as some of the replies suggested. I have been in similar situations. Every new assignment, and you have to prove yourself all over again.

What I would suggest is that as starters, do whatever you have been given to do to perfection. To do a job to perfection requires some effort. A well-done job is neither undercooked nor overcooked. But it reflects the vision and capability of the doer. One of my employees was doing a simple job of a UDC equivalent, but the way he did his job made me realize how efficient a leader he was.

Being an effective team member is the second step. To be accepted in a team, one has to make efforts. Just remembering a small detail like a team member's children's names can change his perception of you. A casual mention, "How are Aarti and Rishabh? How's their school?" will reduce the distance between teammates by light years. Do these small things and start brick by brick. Just watch your popularity soar.

Professionally, you will attract more responsibility. Live up to it, and your stature will grow. Sincerity, hard work, and loyalty show in a person's attitude and work ethics. Take these simple steps one by one, and we shall see!

Hi,

I am in the same situation as you. I know what it feels like when you sit idly and do nothing. But there is a way - try to learn and improve your skills. What I mean is to hone your skills or try to learn something more in your field.

From,
Homiyar T. Sukhia
(EDP/Network Administrator)

Thanks all,

The only problem that I face while interacting with my boss is that I don't have enough to discuss since I am a back-office person. However, my fellow colleagues are all front-office people, and as somebody rightly said earlier, he has formed a closed group with them and finds it very comfortable with them. Now, if I do not have enough meaningful work to discuss in the first place, and he is not willing to give me any, how will I get a chance to be a part of this closed group? My talks with him have only resulted in false assurances (My guess is that he needs someone for the back office and does not want to lose me at least on this part). The only reason why I am complaining so much about this is that I am not a clerk who joined to offer back-office support but to learn, grow, and carve myself a career path.

Dear Mr. Please help,

Finally, I understand that your main problems are as follows:
- Your apprehension towards growth
- Your perception of back office as nothing but a clerical job
- With more people in front, you are getting the opportunity to interact with your boss, and you are somewhat insecure if you are not recognized.

Here are the probable solutions to your above problems:

- Your growth depends on your skill development and focus towards your deliverables by maintaining a good rapport with your colleagues and boss. So, focus on your job and move forward.
- Never assume that working in the back office will confine you to a clerical job only. Through this role, your customer care capabilities increase, and your personal relations grow. See this as an opportunity for learning and growth.
- Do not fear losing recognition from your boss due to the presence of front-end staff. While your concern may be partly valid, stay positive and view obstacles as learning tools. Opportunities abound, and you can leverage them with your experience. Your boss may appreciate having someone at the back to keep things moving forward. All the best.

Please let me know if you need any further assistance.