Hi recently joined a new company about 10 days back. I am on a 3 months probation. I worked for 4 years for a previous company.

I already started feeling misery for joining here. My manager whom i report on an everyday basis is very rude at work. He shouts and yells at me for a very silly reason. He has very little patience and gets angry very fast. The same could have been told politely as well. I have seen him becoming bullheaded for a very silly reason which is not at all required. The same thing he does for the co-employees. I do understand some people turn rude on occasions while you do very big mistakes, but i see no point in working with people who have rudeness as their habit at work. I can't take this rudeness every day, however, I am a new joiner in this company so I am also apprehensive whether resigning so soon would impact my career.

I also came to know from a co-employee that if complaints are made to management, they just inform the manager to be silent for a week without being rude. So i guess complaining would not be ideal here.

I joined this company with a positive outlook for growing my career and skills and I still want to work here but my manager just turning my days miserable at work. Please suggest to me what should I do, I really hope I get some good suggestions from seniors here.

From India, Bangalore
Labour Law & Hr Consultant
Learning & Teaching Fellow (retired)
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follow your dream. I hope you have not closed you ex company doors, were you worked for 4yrs.
If this bull headed has been in this company for many years, if want to challenge him; fight it out and make him run or else resign and join back your old company, Anyways you in probation. ukmitra

From Saudi Arabia, Riyadh
Alex Praveen


There are two ways you can look into this issue:

1. Run away

2. Solve it

You want to walk away from this issue, simply start looking out for other job opportunities. There is no dearth for oppurtunities. You can find many. Just ask yourself one simple question "what incase if i find a similar manager in my next company as well. Do i need to run away from there as well". I am sure you have the answer.

As mentioned by you, i believe that your four years of experience would have taught you how to react and solve problems whenever they appear.

Please put to use your experience here in this present company. Do some homework about your manager and why he reacts like that. Does your manager thinks that this is the best way to control the employees or any other specific reason. If you try sincerely you will understand it. You can solve a problem only when you understand what the problem is. Please dont elaborate the problem, instead try finding the solutions. I am sure you would be successful

All the best.

Hope my advise makes some sense to you. Otherwise kindly ignore it.


Alex Praveen


From India, Secunderabad

Alex Praveen has given you some good advice and posed an excellent question about running away from a situation. Please also see the responses at for a similar question and also
If you demonstrate that you are not affected by his shouting, he may change. Remember the old adage "Sticks and stones may hurt my bones but rude words do not."

From United Kingdom

Dear friend,

I think that by nature you are a bit more sensitive. To add piquancy, during your tenure of four years with the previous Company, your Bosses would have been very gentle in expressing their disapproval or dissatisfaction over the performance of the subordinates.The reason might be their natural amiable disposition or your being new to the job.In the absence of sharp but constructive criticism or severe reprimand, beginners tend to develop their egoistic assumptions about their competency and try to have their own perceptions about how a Boss should behave.But reality is different for the simple reason that there are individual differences.Some people believe that a best administrator is one who always instills a sense of fear in the minds of his subordinates. Though it may not be correct, you have to tolerate this if your Boss is of such a type.From your narration, he seems to be prone to anger and can be easily provoked.However, why the top management does not severely reprimand him on such complaints and just advise him to keep a low profile for some time? Simply because he is a successful task-master and delivers the goods in time.At the same time why other employees are so impervious? Just because they are more accustomed than you? The reason is not that they are thick-skinned but they understand his mood swings and learnt well to adapt themselves rather to think like you to fight or flight.Always, inability or incompetence is the basic cause for anger.In my official career of 32 years in public service, I have come across many high level officers including the brilliant All India Services officers losing their temper very quickly and shout badly at even very senior level officers when things go contrary to their expectations.In employment, efficiency, though it is a relative aspect, means effectiveness attained by prioritisation of the assignments.So make a thorough soul-search into your shortcomings, if any from the perception of your ill-tempered boss and act accordingly.When you are in an organizational hierarchy, remember that it should be yourself to adjust with your superiors rather than expecting them to adjust with you for it is always the boss who can either make you career or mar it.

From India, Salem

@umakanthan, praveen and all, Thanks for your excellent advice.
In my previous company the boss used to be very polite and very diplomatic during silly and big mistakes. I have never seen him being rude at all. It looks like i have to bear my new boss here. I will try to give me 100% here. My boss is just 1 year old in this company. I will stick here with 100% perfectness in this company and see how this boss mingles along overtime.

From India, Bangalore
Ashok Negidi

Dear Concern,
As for my concern the escaping is not right answer. I hope your good at work and I am trying to give the definition about Manager – Means managing all the people is called Manager.
There is Mother, begotten a child unfortunately is not good at mentally but the Mother having been bearing him that is called patience.
I think so please work for few more weeks, so your performance at peak level and your manager come to your feet.
I hope one to one personal meeting will give the goodness than the previous days.
I am sorry I am getting you in wrong.
Do not afraid by seeing the circumstances.

From India, Hyderabad

Hello Mydreamw,

Further to what Alex Praveen & Simhan suggested, your last reply/posting REVEALS one facet of your thought/thinking process--frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if this comes as a Surprise to you too. It happens sometimes.

Your line "I will stick here with 100% perfectness in this company and see how this boss mingles along overtime" seems to suggest that you SURE have a positive response mechanism embedded into you--BUT this seems to be coupled with the EXPECTATION that it's the OTHER PERSON who needs to do the changing or needs to be changed.

What the other guy does OR doesn't do is NEVER in your hands. ONLY YOUR RESPONSE is in your hands--suggest focus on it & I am sure you will be handle things much better.

Without going into the 'right' or 'wrong' of the situation, a similar analogy would be the varied/different responses/reactions of the bystanders to an accident on the road--the response totally depends on how & to what extent each of them ALLOWED HIMSELF/HERSELF TO BE EFFECTED by the accident.

Hope you get the Point.

Based on what you mentioned about your experiences in the earlier Company, you would need to do a 180 deg changeover to ensure that whatever your new boss says or does, you DON'T allow it to effect you--at least begin to make a genuine effort to try. I know this isn't as easy as saying so--but I think that's the only way you learn in life/career.

All the Best.



From India, Hyderabad

Thank you so much. I also read a parrot story which was wonderful story and i think i will also share with my boss when time comes.
I had felt depressed for a few days after continous rude behaviour from my boss. I will slowly try to change the way i respond and make sure the person does not affect my mood. Having coming across such people for the first time in my career, i think it would be nice learning curve and lesson for me to deal with rude personalities.

From India, Bangalore

A very common problem faces by many but there cannot be one ideal or best solution. This may be a part of the whole change u are going through- changing company, colleagues, boss, friends, location etc.

From reading ur post, I feel that u should give urself (and this job, ur boss) some time. Donot jump to conclusions and be harsh on urself. Just to play the devil's advocate, I can say that this may be his overall working style and may not be anything personal.

Sometimes, bosses also need time and their space to find a wavelength with their subordinates. U said u have a 4 years work exp. Then I am sure they must have taken u bcoz they saw something in u. Use ur strengths, knowledge, skills, experiences in this company. Create a space for urself. Be polite but firm. I am aware that all these things are easier said than done. But donot go to the management- not as of now at least. Leaving this job may seem like a good option, but who is to say that u will have a worse boss in another company? Create ur worth in this current company and see if u get the respect u deserve. If not, then u are certainly free to move.

I completely sympathise with u bcoz a good boss is totally instrumental in one's career growth within company- also growth and maturity as a person. U can deal with this as a challenge- at least for a while. And see if u can deal with this on a longer term.

From India, Mumbai

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