Suddenly, a cockroach flew from somewhere and sat on a boy. I wondered if this was the cockroach's response to all the glory that was spoken about it!

The boy started screaming out of fear. With a panic-stricken face and trembling voice, he started jumping, with both his hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.

His reaction was contagious, as everyone in his group got cranky about what was happening. The boy finally managed to push the cockroach onto another boy in the group.

Now, it was the turn of the other boy in the group to continue the drama. The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.

In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself, and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed and threw it out with his fingers.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering!

Was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior?

If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?

He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

It is not the cockroach but the inability of the boy to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed him.

I realized even in my case then, it is not the shouting of my father, spouse, or my boss that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me. It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturb me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.

More than the problem, it is our reaction to the problem that hurts us.

The GYAAN KI BAAT:

We should not react in life; we should respond.

Reactions are instinctive whereas responses are intellectual.

From India, Hyderabad
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Hi, rmshbala,

Nicely said and well explained. Whenever we react to a situation, we hurt ourselves and can ruin our mood as well as others. Therefore, we should not react impulsively; instead, we should take a moment to think and then respond to the situation. This approach will help us handle the situation positively rather than in a hyper or negative manner.

Hats off, nice explanation...

From India, New Delhi
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Dear Bala and others,

Please find the original version of the motivational and self-development theory.

The Cockroach Theory for Self-development - Response Vs Reaction

At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. She started screaming out of fear. With a panic-stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.

Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.

The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but... it landed on another lady in the group.

Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.

The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.

In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.

The waiter stood firm, composed himself, and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt.

When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior?

If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?

He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.

I realized that it is not the shouting of my father, my boss, or my wife that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.

It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturb me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.

More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life.

Lessons learned from the story:

I understood, I should not react in life.

I should always respond.

The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.

Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well-thought-out, just, and right to save a situation from going out of hand, to avoid cracks in relationships, to avoid taking decisions in anger, anxiety, stress, or hurry.

Have a nice day!

From India, Secunderabad
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You’ve said something very deep. It’s not the cockroaches that are responsible for the way we react to them, it’s we ourselves.
From India, Delhi
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