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respected ppl...i am himanshu from j&k and have done engg. in elec & comm. and wish to know if you could help me out. i am very quiet, shy type guy who rarely talks with other. the problem is that i just get more confused and forget words to speak when i see the guy whom i am talking. this prevents me in getting verbal within the group...i can't say a word with fluency when making eyes contact with the other person...i hav a very low confidence, and this has made my life worse. i have very bad communication skills...it prevents me in geeting into interviews, gds. if you can help me then do reply me...thanks
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Dear Himanshu,
Its a human nature to feel shy.It seems you are honest and confident but lacs in skill of communications. you can try with the two method
1. Self communication skill - Sit in front of a mirror alone and read the newspaper or some topics which are not related to profession. Keep your eye on mirror and watch how many times you found the shyness. You can keep a track on it and there will be a change and you will be successfull.
2.Pause & concentrate when you appear for interview - When you have an oppertunity to appear for the interview then just relax abnd dont read too much or prepare . Just concentrate on self keeping in mind that you are cool and you can do it. Dont get excited that you can answer but forgotten. While answering dont be fast just normal.
I hope you are best to judge your skill and communicate.
Good Luck
Hi Himanshu

First of all, like Gopal said in his reply to you, it is not unusual for people to feel shy. So don’t feel that you are the only one with this problem. It is a very good sign that you have identified the problem and have taken steps to get some help, which many people unfortunately don’t do.

It is equally important for you to reflect and try to find out the reason for your shyness, which could be anything from being weak in communication skills, or poor in the English language (if that is your preferred choice of communication) or it could be some psychological problem e.g. being frequently snubbed by your parents or teachers in childhood etc. If you can identify the root cause it would facilitate your overcoming the problem faster.

On the practical side, try to ask questions in a class room or when you attend a training program or a guest lecture. The best way is to write down your question and then read it out. Get involved with some social service activity or club and begin by using opportunities to read prepared text in public like - introducing a speaker or giving a vote of thanks etc.

I hope you will begin to take some proactive steps soon and I am certain you will see the benefits immediately too. Feel free to write back for any additional inputs you may require.

If interested also visit my website Personality Development, Corporate Training, Communication Skills and the blogs that could give you some more tips.


Personality Development, Corporate Training, Communication Skills - website

Academy for Creative Training - Blog 1

Actspot's Blog - Blog 2
The best way is practice and participation-- in no of activities, GD,PI ,Debates.
And practice makes u perfect and u ll have a certain participation that ll help as giving mocks before giving final
sir i am working as an accountant but i have get a proper senior for teaching me.so i cannt get preparing fianal aacounts.can i get support from you for increase my ability
First of all discuss your problems with your soul and always affirm that u are going to get out of the problem.Imagine yourself as a successful parcipant of a group discussion,or if as you are going to present a paper before audience this will create a map of yourself in your mind and then everyday give an affirmation to yourself that I am going to become the same person as I have imagined myself.Also be sure that you are second to none.Talk with your group slowly but firmly.GOD bless you.
i have same problem with you. my analysis indicated if my communication problem came from my low confidence which arose from my childhood experiences. what i can do now is TAKE actions. there will be nothing can change if we don`t do anything. it is hard to do for the first time, but we can learn from that..
i have one tips for you: change the negative word like "no" "i can`t" with the positive ones.
for example: my english is bad, is must be: i should improve my english so it would get better.. just like what you read my notes now! hehe....
Dear Khiladi,
Get a professional profile name for yourself as a start.
Where are you located? If you are close to Delhi/NCR we could communicate on phone/ in person and on the net, else lets start with net guidance.
Please contact me at and we shall take it from there.
No charges, only thanks and a good cup of tea are acceptable :)
best regards
Ajay Chaudhari
Hi Khiladi,

Well, I would suggest at some point of time or the other, everyone looses a bit or all the confidence they possess and stammer at words coz of that. Basically thats not just coz of the lack of words coz instead of 1 single word, a sentence or a combination of descriptary words could be used....its basically the confidence part....And once its gone for a situation, its much difficult to get it back than how easily it slipped out of ones's hand.
So, I would suggest, do not take yourself inferior to anyone...just take a ride to get yourself better...start reading newspapers, books, ebooks- anything that interests you and teh reading content taht has a higher level of english than u possess....that ways u can grow with the style of speech, vocabulary and related aspects.....Along with that, I would suggest you to speak in english with your frens and colleagues with whom u r more comfortable and take it to higher level of frens and ppl u know after u start stepping a bigger level....I assure you this would surely help you in adding on the confidence and the language part...Once you get going...you will be all WIN.

All the best!!!
Hello Himanshu, Positive attitude towards life defines individuals ALTITUDE and APTITUDE NOT ATTIDUDE defines individuals ALTIDUDE is the answer to your concern. Regards. Brijesh

I have been a public speaking trainer since 1996. In addition to the excellent techniques suggetsed by all above, I suggest one that always works. Its like this....

I feel shyness stems from the fact that we are mostly embarassed by the sound of our voices. When we speak, we feel that our voice is inadequate...making us feel that what we are saying is unimportant. Hence our point of view literally gets buried in the clutter!!The solution is that we need to first like the sound of our own voice. Once this happens, we will start taking the initiative in speaking and speak without feeling shy about what other people will think about us.

In the night, or whenever you are alone, stand in front on a mirror and LOUDLY read out the newspaper. Make sure your voice is many decibels above your normal voice. Dont shout...but speak loudly and forcefully Do this over a period of a month and you will see that you will slowly start losing your inhibitions. Let me know your progress. All the best.
Dear Himanshu,
The most important reason for your short coming in communication is your lack of confidence and the lack of confidence is because you donot have adequate knowledge in the subject language. The best way to improve your communication is by exposure to the language through continuous discussions in language, going through various materials like books, papers etc. you can also take personal guidance from some of the speaking courses.
Your problem will vanish when you become confident and you will become confident only when you are knowledgeable and you will become knowledgeable only by your sheer hard work to improve on your short comings.
Hello, let me first of all congratulate you for being honest, as there is a
saying that "he who recognises that he or she does not know something, such a peson is a wise one". To deal with your problem which is very common and natural among humans worldwide,consideer the following advices:

1. keep an eye contact at least on one person, who should give you confidence by making some gestures indicating you are on tract. you can arrange with him or them to do this.

2. avoid looking at audience who do not hide thier feelings about mistakes.

3. do not try to correct your mistakes in the middle of your sentenses. This is because in trying to do so you may repeat thesame mistake which shows lack of confidence on your part that can cause laughter, which intend can confuse you the more.

4. do not try to over impress the listeners by using big words or expressions you are not sure about the meaning.

5. lastly and more important is, do not frown your face, keep a smiling face.

I hope when you follow the above advice and what others have already said, you will overcome your problem as soon as possible. Best regards. From Wahab M. Baba-Tamale, Ghana
could you suggest me any good institute in delhi that can help me in getting my communication skills right???
Hi Himashu,
My son had a similar problem and I recommend you to visit the website provided below for a useful solution.
Welcome to Catalyst-Concepts, Inc.
All the best
Sri Ram
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