Prof.Lakshman
Professor
Berry_nice
Engineer

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I was glancing thru websites and stumbled across women who are not taken seriously at work. :(

I am a Quality Engineer (35 years old). I work with men ONLY and being the only female makes me more of a ‘target’ than the guys.

I do strategic planning to make sure that I’m taken seriously and to enforce the issue that I’m NOT “one of the guys”. I go out with them once every six months for drinks after work. I don’t drink any alcohol …. Just a breezer or diet soda.

I hope the following will help women out there:

1) ALWAYS look good at work. I wear high heels, pants only and I complete my look with a jacket that closes in the front.

2) I have fake nails! I know this might sound stupid, but I’m so tired of breaking my real nails that I decided to get the fake ones. It only cost about $15 for a fill and I do it every three weeks, so it is about once a month. I FEEL good cuz I look good. There is nothing a guy can do to look good is there now???

3) I have folders for everything – and they are all the nice colored ones from Walmart.

I have them labeled:

* TO DO

* OPEN ISSUES

* URGENT

* DISCUSS

* FOLLOW UP

* STAFF MEETING

* MEETING

So I look very organized when I go to meetings.

4) I have an ‘ACTIONS’ page that I staple onto the cover of all my folders. I write on it as I update and follow up on issues.

5) I DON’T run to the boss with all my open issues. I first sort them out and THEN run to the boss to ‘keep him informed’. It really works cuz all the guys run to him all the time!!

6) I ALWAYS make cookies and cake for birthdays. They never remember mine, but at least I make sure that they know that I’m thinking of them.

7) I have a palm pilot. I bought it at a garage sale for .25c!!! It works great and I always have it with me. I do use it everyday to log information and to keep my calendar updated. It is very professional – even tho it is black and white and does not have all the bells and whistles.

8) I smile all the time and speak to everyone! Even if it is just to say Hi to everyone.

9) I searched for Quality Forums and now when there is a ‘buzz’ word going in the industry I check it out online and it seems as if I know so much more!!

10) ALWAYS LOOK & SMELL GOOD!!!

I wear make up everyday. It is such a pain to wake up early to do it, but I do.

I have about 3 different perfumes in my drawer at work. I bought them at the Dollar Tree and you know what??? Everyone tells me I smell good.

So make a change here and there and see if it works. Remember that first impressions are the lasting ones.

I know that I’m not going to get a managers job until I’m in my 40’s, but at least I’m laying down a good, solid SERIOUS foundation!

From United States, Greensboro

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A writer emily Bermes once put accross some important things about the difference between men and women. I am sure some of these given below will guide all of us in making better relationships and working with each other for the betterment of our companies and lives in general.

Communication in relationships comes up a lot in personal and professional coaching sessions. In their quests for a fulfilling, successful, accomplished, meaningful lives; my clients have to interact with the opposite sex - it's true. And in doing so, they often get smacked in the head with the differences in communicative style and focus of their opposite sex partner.

Not knowing the most fundamental differences in masculine and feminine communication is like trying to speak American English in Ireland. A lot of information will translate; and quite a bit of it won't. So here are the basics. Take what's useful for your own professional development and self-improvement. These tips work at home and on the job.

In the most basic sense, men tend communicate by doing things and for the sake of accomplishing a task. They show affection through favors, solving problems, and physical gestures. They also expect to see a tangible outcome from a dialogue. They tend to give advice and share opinions as a gesture of affection... unfortunately women typically find this offensive.

Women, on the other hand, tend to communicate for the sake of social connection. They share thoughts and feelings; and see "bonding" as a sufficient and desirable outcome for communication. Women also tend to talk in a really elaborate, detailed verbal pattern. Unfortunately, this drives men nuts.

Married people, co-workers, and even opposite sex family members misunderstand each other - this is very common. In fact, "inability to communicate" is the number one reason cited for divorce. The good news is there are ways to improve the communication that takes place between men and women. Here are some simple tips.

Give your partner clues about what you need. Ask simply and directly for the listening and speaking behaviors you are wanting at that time. If you want quiet listening and support, but no advice, just say so. If you want a more succinct account of a situation, ask for it (gently).

Try to interpret your partner's communication via their learned rules and tendencies. Their behaviors will not translate correctly if you're using your rules to interpret them. Batman and Wonder Woman do not use the same decoder ring; neither should you.

Resist the temptation to criticize their communication. For a long time society (and even researchers) looked at feminine communication as "right" and masculine as "wrong." The truth is... they both work fine. Criticism will only deepen the divide.

Learn to be bi-lingual. Develop competencies in masculine and feminine communication styles, so that no matter who you talk to, and in what context, you can speak the language that works. Research proves the most successful people do.

Here are some other generalizations about the way men and women communicate (these are not blanket truths, just statistical tendencies)...

Men

Listen while doing something else, and provide advice and/or tactical support

Tend to prefer direct, succinct language that is not very detailed

Tend to be competitive

Men tend to need make up sex before they can 'talk about it'

Show affection by doing things for those they care about

Talk most comfortably while side by side, or while engaged in an activity

Focus on task needs of a situation

Women

Tend to listen by nodding, making noises that show they are interested, and by sympathizing

Tend to use elaborate, detailed language

Tend to be cooperative

Need to 'talk about it' before they want to have make up sex

Show affection verbally by sharing thoughts and feelings

Talk most comfortably while sitting face to face, doing nothing else that could interfere with the dialogue

Focus on the social or emotional needs of a situation

Continue learning to interpret your partner's communication, ask for what you want/need, and increase your competencies in each communication style. You can indeed bridge the gender gap.

So we need both men and women to achieve success. I fully agree with you that when you present yourself well, look well, smell good ( I don't know about the fake finger nails) you make others feel good and most certainly women have the edge here. !!

Prof.Lakshman

From Sri Lanka, Kolonnawa
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