sunayna
12

Here are some Very funny job rejection letters... ( do read them)

Dear Sir:

Congratulations! You got the job! That is probably what you were hoping this letter would say. But it doesn't, because you didn't.

Sincerely,

Personnel Department laugh

Dear Sir: A few days ago, you phoned us about the job you applied for with our company, and we told you that you did not get the job. However, we are now writing to inform you that you did not get the job. We wanted to make sure you understood that.

Sincerely,

Personnel Department

Dear Sir:

You recently applied for a position with us, but you did not get it, as we have informed you by phone and by mail. However, we have not heard back from you that you completely understand that you failed to get the job. Please call or write and let us know that you realize that you are not employed by us in any way, and never will be.

Sincerely,

Personnel Department

Dear Sir:

Please be advised that the person we hired instead of you has been promoted to department manager, and he has asked us to inform you that, should a position open up, he would not hire you.

Sincerely,

Personnel Department

Dear Sir:

Would you consider taking a job for less pay than we originally discussed, even though we would never offer you such a job?

Sincerely,

Personnel Department

Dear Sir:

If it is any consolation, we feel that if we had hired you, by now we would have been forced to let you go.

Sincerely,

Personnel Department

Dear Sir:

We are writing to find out what kind of carpeting and curtains you want in your new office. . . . Wait, we made a mistake. You're the wrong person. Oh, well, we're going to go ahead and send this letter to you anyway.

Sincerely,

Personnel Department

Dear Sir:

Could you report for work first thing Monday morning, if you had a job? Just curious.

Sincerely,

Personnel Department

From India, Mumbai
sweet_honey
hiii, sunayna
yes it was very funny but u know what i dont think ne one would actually want to get employed with a company so careless and MEAN.
HOPE THAT IS A CONSOLATION FOR THOSE WHO WERE GIVEN SUCH LETTERS. :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:

From India, Mumbai
sunayna
12

hi sweet honey (now heres a sweet name :wink: ) yup.... i sure for 1 wldnt work for such a company :)
From India, Mumbai
soms23
16

Hey sunayna, One thing iam happy about is it is written by the Personnel dept and not the HR dept. We are a lot more sensible . THREE CHEERS TO US. Regards, Soumya Shankar
From India, Bangalore
sunayna
12

Job Application Goof Ups !

=========================================

===============================

Cover letter: "I would be prepared to meet with you at

your earliest

convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."

That's what we're afraid of ..

=========================================

===============================

Resume: "It is my professional objective to obtain a

position which

allows me to make use of my commuter skills."

I think we can oblige.

=========================================

===============================

Weaknesses: "Suffer from prickly heat in summer."

Sounds uncomfortable.

=========================================

===============================

Cover letter: "Enclosed is my resume for your viewing

pleasure."

We can hardly wait.

=========================================

===============================

Cover letter: "You are privileged to receive my resume."

We'll try not to let it go to our heads.

=========================================

===============================

Objective: "To mature in the field of human behavior."

Good luck with that.

=========================================

===============================

Experience: "10 years of experience in financail budgiting

and

transactions rigistering."

But limited experience with the spell-check function.

=========================================

===============================

Cover letter: "Please overlook my resume."

If you insist.

=========================================

===============================

Cover letter: "I'm submitting the attached copy of my

resume for your

consumption."

Yum.

=========================================

===============================

Skills: "Grate communication skills."

Yes, but can you talk and chop at the same time?

=========================================

===============================

Experience: "Responsibilities included recruiting,

screening,

interviewing and executing final candidates."

Seems kind of harsh ..

=========================================

===============================

Cover letter: "Salary demanded - $65,000."

Would you like that in small, unmarked bills?

=========================================

===============================

Strengths: "Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining

composer."

Would that be Mozart or Beethoven?

=========================================

===============================

Education: "B.A. in Loberal Arts."

Did you minor in ear piercing?

=========================================

===============================

Cover letter: "I've updated my resume so it's more

appalling to

employers."

We're pretty shocked already ..

=========================================

===============================

Cover letter: "Seek challenges that test my mind and body,

since the

two are usually inseparable."

Glad to hear it.

=========================================

===============================

Cover letter: "My intensity and focus are at inordinately

high levels,

and my ability to complete projects on time is

unspeakable."

At these extremes, some things are best left unsaid.

=========================================

===============================

Cover letter: "Experienced in all faucets of accounting."

That should help with the flow of information.

From India, Mumbai
Pallavi
2

hey, this is real good! n i have come across a few like these .... so it all sounds possible! cheers, Pallavi
From India, Pune
sunayna
12

hi pallavi

wer on earth or rather in which company did u encounter something like this pal?

this is weeeird

hi shakir

sorry to disappoint u, i dont hav any report writing formats

i dont even know wt tht means

i hope others can help

this is a wonderful policy

Company Policy

Dear Staff,

Please be advised that there are NEW rules and regulations

implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.

Dress Code

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.

If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we

assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a

raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money

better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore do not need

a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be

and therefore do not need a raise.

Sick Leave

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.

If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Annual Leave

Each employee will receive 54 personal days a year. They are called

Sundays.

Toilet Use

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a

strict three-minute time limit in the cubicle. At the end of the

three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will

retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken.

Afteryour second offence, your picture will be posted on the company

bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Subsequent

pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your

salary.

Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the

company's mental health policy! You are allowed to use the rest room

only thrice a day and you have to swipe in and out from the toilet

doors also.

SURGERY

As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You

should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have

something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

Lunch Break

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more,so

that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for

lunch to get a balanced meal tomaintain their average figure. Fat

people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed o

drink a slim fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company.

We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,

all questions, comments,concerns, complaints, frustrations,

irritations, aggravations,insinuations, allegations, accusations,

contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a Nice Day!

From India, Mumbai
sunayna
12

A Company decides to adopt Fridays as Casual Day and they issued a Memo

to all department intimating the same.

Week 1

Memo 1: Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as

Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual attire of their

choice.

Week 3

Memo 2: Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate

attire for Casual Day.

Week 6

Memo 3: Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude.

Week 8

Memo 4: A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at

4 p.m. Friday in the cafeteria. A fashion show will follow. Attendance

is mandatory.

Week 9

Memo No. 5: As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, a 14-member

Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for

proper casual-day dress.

Week 14

Memo 6: The Casual Day Task Force has distributed a 30-page

manual entitled "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards." A

copy has been distributed to every employee.

Week 18

Memo 7: Company is providing psychological counseling for

employees who may be having difficulty adjusting to Casual Day.

Week 20

Memo 8: We are no longer able to effectively support or manage

Casual Day.

Casual Day is discontinued

:)

From India, Mumbai
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