Hi Guys,
This is something for refreshment. We usually discuss something related to the company, employees, etc.
I hope you will enjoy... PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY 😄
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increment, no commendation. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager. His manager looked at him, smiled, and asked him to sit down saying:
"My friend, you have not worked here for even a single day." The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager: How many days are there in a year?
Man: 365 days and sometimes 366.
Manager: How many hours make up a day?
Man: 24 hours.
Manager: How long do you work in a day?
Man: 10 am to 6 pm, i.e., 8 hours a day.
Manager: So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man: He did some arithmetic and said 8/24, i.e., 1/3 (one third).
Manager: This is nice of you! What is 1/3rd of 366 days?
Man: 122 (1/3 x 366 = 122 in days).
Manager: Do you come to work on weekends?
Man: No, sir.
Manager: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equal to 104 days.
Manager: Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man: 18 days.
Manager: I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man: 4 days.
Manager: Do you work on Republic Day?
Man: No, sir!
Manager: Do you come to work on Independence Day?
Man: No, sir!
Manager: So how many days are left?
Man: 2 days, sir!
Manager: Do you come to work on New Year's Day?
Man: No, sir!
Manager: So how many days are left?
Man: 1 day, sir!
Manager: Do you work on Christmas Day?
Man: No, sir!
Manager: So how many days are left?
Man: None, sir!
Manager: So what are you claiming?
Man: I have understood, sir. I did not realize that I was stealing company money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
HR - HIGH RISK.
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(0)
Amend(0)
2This is something for refreshment. We usually discuss something related to the company, employees, etc.
I hope you will enjoy... PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY 😄
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increment, no commendation. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager. His manager looked at him, smiled, and asked him to sit down saying:
"My friend, you have not worked here for even a single day." The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager: How many days are there in a year?
Man: 365 days and sometimes 366.
Manager: How many hours make up a day?
Man: 24 hours.
Manager: How long do you work in a day?
Man: 10 am to 6 pm, i.e., 8 hours a day.
Manager: So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man: He did some arithmetic and said 8/24, i.e., 1/3 (one third).
Manager: This is nice of you! What is 1/3rd of 366 days?
Man: 122 (1/3 x 366 = 122 in days).
Manager: Do you come to work on weekends?
Man: No, sir.
Manager: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equal to 104 days.
Manager: Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man: 18 days.
Manager: I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man: 4 days.
Manager: Do you work on Republic Day?
Man: No, sir!
Manager: Do you come to work on Independence Day?
Man: No, sir!
Manager: So how many days are left?
Man: 2 days, sir!
Manager: Do you come to work on New Year's Day?
Man: No, sir!
Manager: So how many days are left?
Man: 1 day, sir!
Manager: Do you work on Christmas Day?
Man: No, sir!
Manager: So how many days are left?
Man: None, sir!
Manager: So what are you claiming?
Man: I have understood, sir. I did not realize that I was stealing company money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
HR - HIGH RISK.
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Good One!!! This man doesn’t have the guts to put across the same questions to the HR guy :-). ~Sanjay
From India, Madras
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
From India, Madras
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Very interesting and amusing. This reminds me of another joke.
I am a Gujarati from Delhi. Among Gujaratis, Ahmedabadi Gujjus are known for their kanjoosi. Once a Gujju from Ahmedabad comes to Delhi. He is sent to Palika Bazaar by someone like me for shopping with the precaution that there is a lot of bargaining going on there. The Ahmedabadi tries to buy an umbrella.
Ahmedabadi Gujju (AG): "How much is this umbrella for?"
Shopkeeper (SK): Rs 100.
AG replies that he cannot pay more than 50. When SK agrees to that, AG revises the price to 25 and so on it goes till the shopkeeper is so fed up that he is willing to give it for free. Then AG says, "In that case, I don't want one. Give me two."
Jokes apart, "HIGH RISK" is an interesting definition of HR. Dale Carnegie, best-selling author and pioneer of leadership management programs in the United States, had once said, "Every person, when he chooses his occupation, is a gambler. He must stake his life on it." That is what he meant by High risk, which to my mind is the primary function of HR - to avoid square pegs in round holes or Talent Management in a different language.
Just how HIGH RISK it is can be gauged that even half a century after Carnegie's death, no clear-cut solution has emerged to the problem of square pegs in round holes, and even American HR people have no clear idea - http://mypyp.wordpress.com/
From India, New Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
I am a Gujarati from Delhi. Among Gujaratis, Ahmedabadi Gujjus are known for their kanjoosi. Once a Gujju from Ahmedabad comes to Delhi. He is sent to Palika Bazaar by someone like me for shopping with the precaution that there is a lot of bargaining going on there. The Ahmedabadi tries to buy an umbrella.
Ahmedabadi Gujju (AG): "How much is this umbrella for?"
Shopkeeper (SK): Rs 100.
AG replies that he cannot pay more than 50. When SK agrees to that, AG revises the price to 25 and so on it goes till the shopkeeper is so fed up that he is willing to give it for free. Then AG says, "In that case, I don't want one. Give me two."
Jokes apart, "HIGH RISK" is an interesting definition of HR. Dale Carnegie, best-selling author and pioneer of leadership management programs in the United States, had once said, "Every person, when he chooses his occupation, is a gambler. He must stake his life on it." That is what he meant by High risk, which to my mind is the primary function of HR - to avoid square pegs in round holes or Talent Management in a different language.
Just how HIGH RISK it is can be gauged that even half a century after Carnegie's death, no clear-cut solution has emerged to the problem of square pegs in round holes, and even American HR people have no clear idea - http://mypyp.wordpress.com/
From India, New Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
I hope the person who posted it would have also seen the flaw in the calculation. In calculating one-third of a year, it also includes the weekends, so they cannot subtract the same. Sorry for spoiling the fun.
From India, Madras
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
From India, Madras
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Hi Mr. S.K.Sundararajan Thx for ur update. But i have clearlly mentioned that its all about refreshment... don take it personally... Anyways thx for the same.. Regards, Anjum
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
From India, Mumbai
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
HAA HAA......I WAS IN THE OFFICE WEN I READ THIS MASTER PIECE....I WAS WITH MY HR SENIORS ...I SHARED THE SAME WITH THEM....WE ALL HAD A HEARTY LAUGH........... GR8 POST ......
From India, Khopoli
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
From India, Khopoli
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
your mathematics is little weak when u took 1/3 working days u also included holidays thereafter
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)Join Our Community and get connected with the right people who can help. Our AI-powered platform provides real-time fact-checking, peer-reviewed insights, and a vast historical knowledge base to support your search.
HR Manual (Employee Hand Book).doc
HR Humor.zip