A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of
you just one wish'.
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the
Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world'. Puff!
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life'. Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up', the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I
want those two back in the office after lunch'.
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you
and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up .
A turkey was chatting with a bull.. 'I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree,' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the
Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
'They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally, after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the
top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullsh*t might get you to the top, but it won't
keep you there.
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realise how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
1 Not everyone who sh!ts on you is your enemy
2 Not everyone who gets you out of sh!t is your friend
3 And when you're in deep sh!t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
...This ends the 3 minute management course.