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Roles in heaven
Dear all charecter in the heaven must see regards mangala
A priest, a doctor and an software engineer
A priest a doctor and an software die and go to heaven they hear god s voice and it says: " my dear sons i am really very sorry but the heaven is full and i can accommodate only one of u so to choose the right person one by one tell me what u have done in your lifetime. "the priest goes up first and says "well god i m a priest i am u r humble servant and have spent all my life working to spread your message." the doctor goes up next and says "well i m a doctor and i have helped thousands of people recover from their illnesses" the goes up says "well i worked as an and before the could say anything further the heaven s gates opened and god came with tears in his eyes and said to the say no more my son come with me u have already been thru
Sachin and saurav..
Tendulkar and sourav ganguly now pretty old guys 75 and 80 years old are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about cricket like they do every day. sachin turns to sourav and says"do you think there s cricket in heaven?" ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies "i dunno. but let s make a deal: if i die first i ll come back and tell you if there s cricket in heaven and if you die first you do the same." they shake on it and sadly a few months later poor sachin passes on. one day soon afterward ganguly is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper "sourav... sourav" ganguly responds "sachin is that you?" "yes it is sourav" whispers sachin s ghost. ganguly still amazed asks "so is there cricket in heaven?" "well" says sachin "i ve got good news and bad news." "gimme the good news first" says ganguly. sachin says "well... there is cricket in heaven." ganguly says "that s great what news could be bad enough to ruin that?" sachin sighs and whispers "you re going to be the opening batsmen for friday s match." regards mallet :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Hr manager dilemma - heaven or hell
One hr manager while crossing the road had an accident and went to heaven. god met him at the entrance and told him though he had spent his entire life telling lies and playing with emotions of other but he also had done couple of good things in life because of which he will get a option to live either in heaven or hell. hr manager replied its the heaven i will opt for but first i would like to have a look at hell before finally settling down in heaven. god replied if you have seen workplace then you dont have to see hell but since you are insisting i will send you to hell god finger snapped and hr manager found himself at the gate of hell and at the entrance gate he saw one of the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. she told she is his guide and host while he is on the tour to hell and took him inside the hell. hr manager was astonished to see the hell beautiful buildings pubs nightclubs beautiful girl golf clubs and what not. he also saw many of his old friends. they all welcomed him he had drinks with them and they told what a wonderful place hell was and he should consider settling down here only. his guide gave him a guided tour of the hell and they had a wonderful time together. next day he went to god who then sent him to heaven. at the entrance of the heaven a old lady welcomed him and took him inside. well.. he noticed heaven was a neat and clean place religious music coming out from everywhere there were prayer halls assembly halls ladies were not so good looking strict code of conduct was to be followed by everybody but no club hotels golf club and the likes. he noticed few of the employees recruited by him were there but they all ignored him. next morning he went to god who asked him what him final decision was. hr manager replied god heaven is good but hell is where real life and the place he would like to spend his time. he also advised god in order to find new entrants to heaven he should hire few hr managers who would make heaven a real cool place as hell currently is otherwise soon a day will come when there would be nobody left in heaven his parting word to god live the job to expert and see the result . god asked him one final time if his decision to go to hell was final. yes replied the hr manager and he found himself at the gate of hell. one of the most ugly lady he had ever seen was at the entrance she caught him by hand and pushed him inside. once inside all he now saw was boiling oil people being pushed into it guards of hell beating person with leather straps people being tortured he saw many of his friends breaking rocks and being tortured. he turned to the lady and asked what is this when i came yesterday this was the most beautiful place what has changed between yesterday and today lady we were you you are an now jump into this pool of your now.
Voice mail in heaven
Imagine what would happen if god installs voice mail in heaven. when you pray you will get this response: "hi thank you for calling heaven. if you want to speak to lord ganesha press 1 lord shiva press 2 lord krishna press 3 sorry he is busy with "gopiyan for a directory of other gods / goddess press 4 for further assistance from menka / pari / angels press . you press 1 and get connected to ganeshji and hear the following message: if you want to make a request press 5 for complaints / grievances press 6 seldom works for thanks giving press 7 for any thing else please press 8 and wait for the customer support angel to talk to you. if you would like to hear naradji singing bhajan while you are holding press after a few minutes comes the following message: "our records show that you have already prayed once today. please try again tomorrow. meanwhile if you require any emergency assistance please contact our offshore customer support executive priest of your nearest temple. thank you for calling have a nice day
Call center in heaven
Imagine what would happen if god installs voice mail in heaven. when you pray you will get this response: "hi thank you for calling heaven. if you want to speak to lord ganesha press 1 lord shiva press 2 lord krishna press 3 sorry he is busy with "gopiyan " for a directory of other gods / goddess press 4 for further assistance from menka / pari / angels press . you press 1 and get connected to ganeshji and hear the following message : if you want to make a request press 5 for complaints / grievances press 6 seldom works for thanks giving press 7 for any thing else please press 8 and wait for the customer support angel to talk to you if you would like to hear naradji singing bhajan while you are holding press after a few minutes comes the following message : "our records show that you have already prayed once today. please try again tomorrow . meanwhile if you require any emergency assistance please contact our offshore customer support executive priest of your nearest temple. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: