Anonymous
18

Dear All, I am a female HR person who worked in an MNC in Bangalore for the past few years, I am married and was staying alone in Bangalore. My spouse and my kids were staying in my native (Tamilnadu). Recently because of my family commitments and to take care of my kids I relocated to my native. Got an HR job in my hometown for a much lesser salary as compared to my earlier one.

Though I understand that I have to be there for my kids now, I am feeling really low nowadays.

Initially, I never felt any different because anyways this is also the same profile and I will be able to get a successful career. I have been working here for 2 months now. Nothing seems to be working out.

This organization has around 200 employees and all the decisions are taken by the Owner, Though the owner has given me some space to work out my ideas, I am always waiting to get his approval for small things which takes time.

I am afraid that I will lose my skills by being here. I have consciously made this decision to be with my family and I also know that my current job will have less scope for HR activities. Please someone suggest I keep myself engaged and self-motivated.

From India, Mettupalayam
Dear member,

Life is all about choosing an option from two or more. Life is also about doing a trade-off. Between career and family commitments, you have chosen the latter. In that case, why look back and start comparing with the other option?

Bangalore is a dynamic city. A city like Bangalore is always characterised by action, forcefulness or ambition. Whoever's ambitiousness it is, whether of the owner or of the employees, it is the driving factor behind the growth. In contrast, in the small towns, this strong urge is missing. Therefore, the comparison between the two is unfair.

Secondly, you had an option to bring your kids to Bangalore, but you have chosen to grow them at your native as you wish to see them rooted in your culture. So, why grumble now?

You are donning two roles. One is of a career woman and another of a mother. Between the two, obviously, the latter role is far more challenging. Grooming children is not an easy task. It is said that nations rest on the shoulders of the mother. Therefore, even by staying in a smaller town, if you are able to refine the behaviour of your children, it is going to be your success and not someone else's.

As far as autonomy in the job is concerned, a large number of business owners, even from a big city like Bangalore, do not empower their managers. The centralised administrative style remains the hallmark of Indian businesses. The company in which you worked in Bangalore could be an exception.

Anyway, we cannot undo the past. Therefore, move on without regret. A sense of regret could demotivate you and it could have a bearing on your family life too!

Thanks,

Dinesh Divekar

From India, Bangalore
Dear Sir, Thanks for your comforting words. Yes whatever you have explained is correct. I have chosen my family over career. I cannot have both in my way.
From India, Mettupalayam
Dear Colleague,
Very well guided by the Colleague in his reply to your query. To add:

This is he general scenario in the Career Aspirant Women in most of the cases. They are to compromise lot of things for family and career which is interdependent with each other. A successful women is one who is balancing both well and succeed in both. Very good Career with Very poor family success as well very good family success with very poor career accomplishments both are equally not correct.

Bangalore and Mettupalayam totally incomparable but it shows your adaptability This is critical time for you to bring up your children and you had taken a very conscious decision you had taken and in your later years of life you will really feel that you had done correct for the wellness of family as a Mother which is a great role. Once your children move to Colleges, again you can move back to Bangalore or to any other metro and continue the momentum. But the reverse is not possible now. Hence you had made decision which is quite appreciable and we all salute you for your commitment to family.

Coming to the Role you are playing I would like to inform you that your present portfolio is very equal to many big Corporate Companies wherein the Promoter will give only very little space for you to work whether they operate from Mumbai or Delhi or Hyderabad or Bangalore. Now you are experiencing a very good Corporate Culture and this is the typical situation if you see in most of Indian Corporates. I experiences such tenures in my career in at least 3 companies in my Caproate Career which really helped me in my later career. This is a real good experience for you for your later Corporate Career. Once you develop confidence in the minds of the Promoters, you will become a great successful professional in such companies which is not the case in large companies where you can not have any access to promoters of the business due to long layers.

Above all, be focused on what you decided and be a successful person in both sides - family and profession.

Like said in famous Tamil Life Guide Thirukkural - " Think and dare a proper deed Dare and think is bad in need"

Think, and then dare the deed! Who cry,
'Deed dared, we'll think,' disgraced shall be.


Couplet Explanation:
Consider, and then undertake a matter; after having undertaken it, to say "We will consider," is folly.

Move forward and your time will come for your profession and we appreciate you for your good insight and clear decision which justifies both sides of your life - Family and Profession. God Bless for all good in your life and profession.

From India, Chennai
Dear Dr.Sivakumar,

You have beautifully explained, Thanks for reminding me through thirukural.

I am moving forward and will be leaning things in my role.

Later will see, There will be something better in my future.

I will not regret my decision.

From India, Mettupalayam
Dear madam,

When you decided to leave Banglore job and move to your hometown to be with your kids and husband , it was concious decision to take up a job on lesser salary in hometown. So what is the point in regretting now? . Give your best to the present job and be happy and make most of the opportunity you got to be with the family. Look at things from the perspective of better tomorrow and this is not the end of it. Who knows this job may bring better career opportunity in future here or elsewhere.Have faith in God's grace as your sincere and honest efforts are bound to bring equal or better returns. Law of action and reaction is always at play.

Regards,

Vinayak Nagarkar
HR and Employee Relations Consultant

From India, Mumbai

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