I work in the HR department of a company. i report to the HR manager.On 9th July 2018 when it was raining my boss told everybody to leave . i was in office and was planning to leave a bit later due to work. Then my boss in the presence of other employees said "E BAILYA nigh atta". Please suggest what should be done further in such a case.
From India, Mumbai
Dinesh Divekar
Business Mentor, Consultant And Trainer
Insolvency N Gst Professional
Aniket Pathak
Sr. Executive Hr


We are unable to understand the meaning of the word uttered by your boss. Try to post the details in the language commonly understood by the members & positively in English.
In case it is a bad word then tell him that he should restrict himself using such un-parliamentary words or else you can escalate it to the higher ups, even you can lodge complaints also. If such word is uttered in the presence of other employees & nobody objected it means that the most are uncultured hence better to look for a change.
thanks and regards

From India, Hyderabad

Presuming that the boss had used a bad word/contemptuous word,I suggest the following in case he repeats the poor conduct.
Next time he uses such/similar words to you, just look at him and ask him are you addressing me?
Then tell him to avoid using unparliamentary words in this fashion.
Is he like this with others also or only with you?
If he repeats the bad conduct put up a complaint in writing mentioning words, witnesses and circumstances.
I am sure boss will stop behaving rudely if you are polite,firmly and tackle such issues directly and fearlessly.

From India, Pune
Dinesh Divekar

Dear friend,
You have written your post with slight confusion. Who exactly passed disparaging comments against you? Was it HR Manager or someone else? Are you referring your HR Manager as "boss"? Anyway, I interpret the remark of your boss in the following way:
a) Your boss could be uncouth in general. Therefore, while telling you to leave the office, he told in very unprofessional manner. How is his conduct with others? Did you hear similar comment while talking others as well?
b) If the general conduct of boss is ok with others but he passed unsavoury remark only against you then it shows somehow he is frustrated against you. How is your relationship with him? Is it strained?
Whatever reason may be, boss must maintain professional conduct at the workplace. In fact, if some other employee behaves unprofessionally or casts a disparaging remark, then seniors should step in. Unfortunately, it is other way round.
I recommend you sending a mail to the boss asking for personal meeting. In the personal meeting give him feedback. Make sure that there is no one else in the room. Lodge your protest on his remarks but be polite. In case if he wavers, tell him that this meeting is only for this remark and nothing else. Do not talk on any other subject. Record the conversation between both of you but do this surreptitiously. Once you reach home, take the back up of this audio file.
For Kamesh: - The remarks are in Marathi. Direct translation would be "Hey bull, quit the office". But if translated loosely, it could mean "Hey idiot, leave the office now".
For Mr Nathrao: - Indirectly you have advised to wait and if he repeats such remarks then give him feedback. However, if such tendencies are nipped in bud, the better. If the originator of the posts downplays the comments, then it could embolden the boss further. In case, if the boss is MD of the company, then then there is a risk of boss taking the feedback personally. However, some time we have to take the bull by the horns.
General comments: - As of now we do not know whether boss is HR Manager or someone else. Nevertheless, it was wrong on the part of that person to refer the originator of this post in offensive manner. In many companies, a systematic training is conducted on workplace etiquettes or corporate behaviour. Far from it, here we have either HR or someone from leadership passing contemptuous remark against the junior. While junior may suppress his/her feelings at that time, they give vent to it when they get opportunity. Those who witnessed this incident must have appalled. These incidents may appear small but have capacity to degrade the culture of the company!
Dinesh Divekar

From India, Bangalore
Aniket Pathak

Dear Annonymous,
You should have reacted instantly by telling him to behave and not to use profane language. You lost that chance but still you can make him realize your anger by your behavior. Also , some people are very open and thinks of others the same way believe me sometimes even abuse is not an abuse when happens between friends. But, As you say he is your boss and you expect proficient behavior from him you should tell him straight way just wait for next encounter. Please approach higher authorities if problem persist.
Lastly if he still don't understand then make him understand in his own language.
For Dinesh Sir,
Its Bailya and not Baila . Bailya means pansy or Gay.

From India, Pune
Dinesh Divekar

Dear Aniket,
You have recommended giving instant reaction on the bad words by the boss. Nevertheless, sometimes it leads to verbal feud. Therefore, the right approach would be to show patience, wait for the next day and give feedback in private.
When a person reacts instantly, the other side becomes defensive also. However, if some time is allowed to pass then the passage of time helps as the other person might have reflected on his comments. Objective of the feedback should be make the other party realise about wrong doing and not proving the other person wrong.
Dinesh Divekar

From India, Bangalore

The use of wrong, filthy,slang & raw words to some one is bad. It is treated worst behaviour, when told in presence of others(senior,junior & collegues).
In many a times people use phrase/proverb/critic words / remark for certain occassion. In this case your boss passed a reamrk aginst the disobidence of his order (Boss declared close of office as weather is getting worse due to heavy rain). Sometimes some remarmks is being passed to create humour but misunderstood in different angle which is decided by place, person & timing.
In my opinion the remark was " this bull can do everything tonight''. It has hurt you because told in presence of other office staffs.
Whether this behaviour was for first time or did before? In many ocassion when you were remain in seculation talk freely use words, which we do not use commonly.
Go and tell your boss that his behaviour towards you in last evening was not of good taste and you do not like such type of treatment.
If the behaviour of your boss towards you is a regular nature and rude and has turn your prestige down, in such cases one can file a defmamination case but have to keep sufficient witness with you.

From India, Mumbai

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