Is it not harassment to compel for team out and team lunch? Am a mechanical engineer. Apart from hard work, generally i don't like the IT culture, team out without family members, team lunch this that...ofcourse most non-IT persons have the same feeling as i do. My wife works for a IT company and her team goout for lunch and outing. Generally i restrict her for such lunch and outings. But now her team manager is compelling her for team lunch. Ofcourse a few girls are there in the team. My wife fears that her job may be at risk if she doesnt obey? So i allow her. When am there to take care of my wife and family and we goout for lunch / dinner atleast twice in a week whats the necessity. I know many of my IT friends came from very remote villages with their parents not even understand what work they are doing. But after joining IT companies these people are creating such an illusion that they are born and broughtup in america.

We also work for 12 to 15 hours a day. But there is no such culture here. If it is there also they don't compel. And please don't tell me that there are lot of project discussion, decision makings etc will be taken during such team lunch / outing. Then what you people do 24 hours at office without going home. I very well know whats happening. The teamout / team lunch may be good for unmarried. But its not fair to compel married ones. I don't agree with the term team lunch and team out improves interaction between the team, better understanding etc....already its there in the work environment. Corporates do it for some other purpose. Please understand. After doing all this and cooperating, one fine day u will be kicked out for no reason. Living the life of a fire fly. Sorry if my words did hurt anybody. Try to humanize life in the IT industry. In today's expensive world, in middle class families its a compulsion that both husband and wife go for work atleast till housing loan, car loan, personal loan, educational loan etc are cleared. Give no room for harassment in work environment.

From India, Pune
Dinesh Divekar
Business Mentor, Consultant And Trainer
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One needs to be broadminded and liberal.
Lunches are ways of informal interaction between team members.
Every one can afford to feed his family but such eating out once in a while are not to be viewed negatively at all.
This is my personal opinion.

From India, Pune
Dinesh Divekar

Dear Nick,

Gentleman cool down. You are so frustrated that it could impact your marital life. My take is as below:

a) IT companies exist in India for more than two and half decades. Every industry has its own culture and so is IT. Therefore, you should have thought of whether to have spouse from IT background or not before the marriage and not after.

b) Now you have accepted your wife from IT company. Therefore, this is fait accompli. Better to reconcile with it. If you tell her to change industry, it would be very difficult for her.

c) IT or otherwise, it is important to keep bosses in good humour. Living in water and being an enemy of the crocodile is not good goes the adage. One cannot succeed in the career merely on one's intelligence and dedication. Some amount of back up from top boss is always needed. As of now if her boss insists on compulsory attendance of team outing then be as it may. Let her attend these outings till she is in her existing company. Who knows team outings may not happen in her next company.

d) Team outings happen in each industry. Possibly in your wife's company, frequency could be little higher. By the way, what is the frequency of team outings so that you have taken them to your heart?

d) Whims and fancies of bosses are there in each industry. Therefore, singling out any particular industry would not be fair.

e) Economic liberalization of India started in 1991. Lot of MNCs entered to do their business in India. On the flip side, these MNCs brought their own culture particularly American culture. Now we are neither completely American nor Indian. Your generation is victim of this hybrid culture.

f) Lower and middle class benefited most from the economic liberalization. Money started flowing in their homes which their forefathers had not seen. Nevertheless, money has diluted Indianness in them. But then dilution of Indian culture started when Mohammad Bin Kasim invaded India in 712 A.D. It has been continuing ever since.

Final Comments: - My humble request is not to allow your wife's profession to impact your marital life. Spouse's support is required most after 60. But then one has to spend almost 30-35 years before one attains that age. Therefore, look at the larger picture. Lastly, you have expressed your views. What about your spouse's views? Is she in favour of team outing or against it? Many things depend on her psyche as well.


Dinesh Divekar

From India, Bangalore

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