Lavika Yadav
Adv. Manoj Liyonzon
Lawyer, Chennai
Business Development / Administration
Rbm Ir Solutions
Learning & Teaching Fellow (retired)
Manager- Hr & Admin
Rupa Mehta
Trainer-soft Skill
Hr Executive
Fund Manager
Manager Admin & Hr
+8 Others

Thread Started by #Deepti_Rawat

Hello Seniors,
I am working as HR executive in an IT company for last 3 month, I do not possess much experience but as last HR gave me a brief description about her profile, I continued with that, but 2 day ago my boss took 1-to-1 meeting with all the staff regarding the performance of HR and the results were shocking as all the staff blame me for being biased, not very strict or said rude and unable to mange the profile. They gave me less marks compared to last HR. These reviews are from those employees who even do not had much communication with me. I took this constructively but please help me how to overcome this situation.
11th March 2014 From India, Bhopal
Looking strange. You need to ask inputs from them only as I don't understand why they gave you less marks. Ask them what are their expectations and you need to work on them only. It would be difficult for you to improvise on some points and later you come to know they are not looking for all these points.
So better take inputs from them and try to improvise on those points
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11th March 2014 From India, Mumbai
dear deepti

god bless you

you have stated that you have got little experience and the 1 2 1 chat of your boss with the staff has left you with lot of blame on you on many aspects

1. i congratulate you for the achievement that in 2 months time you can be talked about by the staff. people who stay for years at times are not noticed or even known to staff. congrats keep it up

2. to quote Dale Carnige " NO ONE KICKS A DEAD DOG " vibrant and dynamic people only are noticed . you throw stones only on a dog that gives you fear.

3. now for what you should do . i quote from rudram chamakam the last stanza for you and everyone to follow

I would think by my mind only sweet things,

I would do only sweet things,

I would take only sweet things for worship of devas,

I would talk of only sweet things,

I would only give sweetest things with devaas,

And men who want to hear good things,

Let the devas protect me who does this way,

And let my ancestor gods protect me.


dr ram

11th March 2014 From India, Indore
Dear Deepti,
It takes a lot of courage to blatantly accept one's own faults. I would say your modesty will take you on the right track. Back in your firm, you have to attend to two entirely different domains of people; your peers i.e the HR-mates and the employees. As far as pleasing the colleagues is concerned, I would suggest not to get impatient. You are new to the domain and will need a lot of perseverance to showcase your mettle. Inculcate the technicalities, do your homework, read articles, get in-hands exposure to all that comes your way and while putting all these efforts, try to get help from your seniors. Be thankful to them. You just have to make them realize that you are trying to get a hang of all the chores in their worthy guidance. For the employees, just be more interactive and congenial. See that they relate to you and come to you to address their grievances. just be a more proactive and you are thorough.
11th March 2014 From India, Chandigarh
Dear Deepti,
You have not given enough information to give precise advice. For example, what is the nature of the organisation and how many people are working? With how many people did the manager have 1 to 1 conversation? What was the profile given by the previous HR person? Did you manager give you a breakdown of the points raised by the staff? More the information that you provide, more precise will be the advice that you get.
I have applied the gap approach to improve Teaching and Learning. You can read more about the GAP approach at
11th March 2014 From United Kingdom
Thanks for your valuable suggestions, and As Sir Das asked me to be more interactive and congenial but the main problem is that those employees who gave totally negative feedback are very introvert, they don't have lunch along with other staff, don't find HR one-to-one meeting interactive and fruitful and while talking to me it seems that they have no interest for any conversation. Please suggest.
11th March 2014 From India, Bhopal
Hello Simhan Sir,
It is an IT firm (outsourcing) having 2 section 1. SEO and 2. BPO. BPO consist of 11 employees including 1 manager, has been started recently i.e. a month ago while SEO was established in Jan 2011. There are 12 employees including two manager in that section. I and a technical admin is common for both the sections. My Boss had one to one chat with all of them and just told me that staff is considering me rude and biased.
11th March 2014 From India, Bhopal
As it is a small firm ask your manager to give you some more information about what they mean by rude and biased. Please read the articles in the links there and prepare a questionnaire to solicit their expectations and perceptions. They may not interact with you in person, but may be prepared to answer your questions.
11th March 2014 From United Kingdom
Dear Deepti,
As advised and appreciated by Mr. Reinoramanan is absolutely fantastic as well as by Mr. Simhan, As a good HR, you have to make a balance with your staff and boss and have to coordinate with them.
As per my concern, if your boss took you for 1 to 1 meeting with staff that is not only good but also good platform constructed by your boos for you for further interaction with your staff.
It may be possible, you may be felt some bad from the staff due to their unhappiness and complaining about you. Forget that all.
But take it positive that you are now in position to understand the existing problem and what is their requirements. which will lead to solve their problem easily.
Make a note and summary on earlier HR Activities and compare with current requirement. Prepare small presentation on the same and present to your boss for his review and advise for implementation.
11th March 2014 From India, Delhi
Dear Deepti,

I can understand your we all are freshers when we start something..I am also not so old in HR.Just having 2 year experience.

But I would like to share my views as I have worked in largest broking house as well as a small newly setting up IT company..So both experiences are worth sharing.

Profile and designation of a HR is very dignified.We are the source of employement and also like gurdian of employees while he/she is working with us.So we have to set good examples in front of employees.We need to be neutral.We have to be generous like a mother when children has done something good in class and strict like father who is making child strong with his toughness.

Dont involve yourself with a particular person so much..If someone has done good appreciate them and also motivate others who were in same race..When somebody complains about something listen patiently and give them assurance that you will find the root cause and rectify it.

Try to be polite and look cheerful..Dress sincerely....and persons who were negative in 1to them in you cabin in free time and ask them their expectations also make them realize that every person has different personality..Previous HR was good but you are also there for their mutual benefits..Plan some interactive employee engagement activities so that you can know them better..

I know I havent said anything extra ordinary..but if you follow all these things trust me gradually all things will be OK..

All the Best !!!
11th March 2014 From India, Mohali
Hello Lavika,
Thanks for sharing all this, I agreed that they are really applicable. I got few (2-3) employees as bit arrogant having mail ego, they think themselves very superior. Though I was polite with them for ever but they gave a negative feedback. They never come to me for any query regarding leave or late but go to their immediate boss, even don't talk to me. Every month when I take one to one meeting they come as if formality with no complaints and suggestions. Then how can I interact with them.
11th March 2014 From India, Bhopal
Hi Deepti,

These type of persons exists almost in every organization.You need to tackle with them very carefully.

If these employees are coming late and having casual approach,discuss with them about but if it remains the same,Discuss it with their reporting manager or HOD in the presence of your Hod.

It will create a positive impact as you tried your best to communicate with employees but if they were not listening then only you had to approach their senior.But

even after it they are having same approach,write a mail keeping their reporting manager and MD in loop that you have given them verbal indications about their casual approach but you are not seeing any improvement thus you are writing this warning mail..

Thus you will convey your message and moreover MD will come to know that you are doing your work sincerely and not biased.And I hope he will also suggest some wayout but before drafting a mail contact your MD and make him aware about the situation so that you may remain in safe side later on.

Good Luck !!!!
12th March 2014 From India, Mohali
This is right being a professional person your communication skill should be very good and it is understandable for others.
12th March 2014 From India
From what you describe, two things emerge. One, there is gap between what you are doing and what is expected of you. Is there a clear job role and description in your company ?( I ask this because it is a relatively small company). Get your boss to clarify those expectations from the HR job role - he needs to firm that up first. Obviously, the KRAs, KPIs and MOPs are involved, and these should be frozen for all the positions. You talk of 1-on-1 but if he talks about you openly in a 1-to-several meeting, it is not fair unless the above KRAs/KPIs/MOPs are frozen and made known to the rest of the staff as to what exactly is your role. Having said that, as HR executive, you need to maintain a congenial and positive frame of mind with every individual. Remember no one is totally wrong - there are elements of the good in everyone. One experience or a set of circumstances often vitiate views and perceptions about another individual. As HR, you need to work that much harder to present a positive front to your staff. The gap between perception and reality is a challenge. We are not what we think we are, it is what others think about us that matter to them. The oxymoron \"perception is reality\" is so true. Therefore, consciously work on the feedbacks which you have received from your staff, possibly with help from your boss. I am assuming here that your boss is favorably disposed to you.

Hope this helps. If you are in Mumbai, you are welcome to contact me on landline 66231138. I work at Lower Parel.
12th March 2014 From India, Coimbatore
Dear Deepti,

I appreciate you taking this constructively. It can be tough when so many people give you negative feedback that too in your first few months in the organisation. First step towards improving your behavior/ image is by accepting that there is something to be improved. So you've already taken the first step and that is a big plus. The next is to find out what is it that they find rude or biased in your behavior. A good place to start would be by asking each one of them in a one-on-one what they found rude. However, please ensure that the questions you ask are the right ones and in the right tone else it could come out like you are being defensive (though that may not be your intention) or aggressive. In any conversation, the tone matters a lot! So please be aware of the tone that you use when you ask these questions. Here are a few questions to get you started.

The questions could be along these lines.

I received a lot of feedback from everyone on my abilities and skills and would like to improve with your help. Would you like to help me?

wait for the answer. If yes, ask if now is a good time to have a 1-on-1 and if yes continue, if not, fix a time and be punctual for it.

Thank the person for their tie when the feedback session starts.


1. What about my behaviour/ skill/ knowledge did you find abrasive/ not up to the mark?

2. Ask for specific examples.....could you give me some example of what you thought was rude behaviour.

3. Dig for more information. Keep digging until you are sure that that is the real reason. So for example if someone says... Oh! it's just the way you speak, it is so rude! Ask- What about the way I speak do you find rude? (keep your voice calm... you are trying to discover and not to fight... tone is important). If they say your talk too loudly, ask " so if I speak a little softer, do you think I will not sound rude?" If they say oh, I don't know... ask " What else about my voice sounds rude?". Keep digging until you come to the real reason.

4. Don't get angry or upset by the examples that they give. Don't try to justify immediately. Listen. LISTEN. listen! Don't process. Just absorb.

5. At the end of the conversation, ask So if these aspects of my behavior/ skill/ knowledge change do you think I will be able to perform my job better?

It would be a good idea to write down the important aspects of the conversation so that you don't forget any crucial part of it.

Once you have the information, make a plan to improve on those aspects maybe even one at a time. Handling everything at once might be over whelming and there's a chance that you might give up!

You are on the right path... Keep up the good work. All the best. you can mail me for more information on

13th March 2014 From India, Mumbai
Dear Deepti,

I favor Das Sajal. Also the other have put in great pieces of advice. I believe you need some step by step action plan and so this comment.

Now I would suggest you to look into the psychology of a 'closed group' inside your small company before you let them attack you with written feed backs. These are reports and you cannot keep for yourself. Next issue comes up and this might be on your Manager's desk, a solid proof to confirm action for they did this once and they will do this again. In your case what you should perceive from what Mr. Ramanan rightfully quoted above; 'nobody kicks a dead dog', is that someone kicks because they want it dead and out cold.

I suggest that the best strategy right now would be stepping back and acknowledging to your Manager that you have realized what went wrong. Remember to put a big smile on your face and not that of a grounded person when you say this to him. Thank your peers with a smile for they have brought it to your attention in a written statement and close the case now. Buy time.

Some questions you need to look into would be... Was your predecessor a much senior female? Or are you little too younger than the problematic group? Is your language far too good with structured vocabulary? If any of these are true, that could be a reason to corner you.

I suggest you make a list of the people who have conned you. Call up and talk once again to your predecessor. Get personal feed backs in their individual cases and 'write' them down. Make a character profile and try to figure out a way specifically for each person before you go ahead. Make a check list of what changes you have brought in the last 2 months. (include everything involving tea breaks or smoking or anything). If you have done this you might understand who you have offended and where this wave comes from. Now go to each of them, smile and spot the ones who avoids eye contacts with you. Rearrange the list and group the ones who should be gagged.

Now, formulate the strategy based on them and then build this questionnaire as Mr. Simhan said. The questions should be focused on the most likely 'suspects'. Offer closed questions and give them a drop down list to choose rather than giving spaces to let them flow. Never give an option like 'Too bad' to choose from. Maybe put 'Needs more attention' or the like. I say this because with what I can see, it is just a matter of time before they will repeat this and I believe your Manager is not quite experienced with 'IT minds' (forgive me, nothing personal). Unfortunately, some are base introverts and they react like a black mamba when threatened. They become so because of the way they are forced to think when working in I.T. Trust me I know. Hours and hours of the thinking and looming ideas day in and day out rather than living life in action as it should be. Becomes a habit. Cannot blame. Understand them and work around it.

In a nutshell: Stand back, acknowledge, learn grounds, spot the key, devise strategy, talk alliance OR/AND Keep an extra eye on the key person, find a reason to hit, remember to cut off all alibi, present your case to the Manager. Even if you cannot manage to push him out, you will have better grounds for fear is the reason they did this to you. Capitalize on their fear and remember to play it safe.

"Obstacles are like wild animals. They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can. If they see you are afraid of them... they are liable to spring upon you; but if you look them squarely in the eye, they will slink out of sight." - Orison Swett Marden


CEO & MD, Microbion

13th March 2014 From India, Chennai
Dear Deepti
Your colleagues are old to that organization and are well inclusive to that environment & culture. It takes some time to make a space & comfortable zone among your new peers. Remember, any change will be resisted in every sector. Its only acceptable after a short time span. Just try to mingle with them and possess positive attitude. This is the imperative quality desired from an HR by an organization.
14th March 2014 From India, Mumbai
Hi Deepti forget about others look into ur improvements, understand where ur lacking. I agree communciation is very important, co workers should understand u and support ur skills and where ur lacking. I suggest u start speaking with your co workers boldly that will lead to gud results
All the best.
14th March 2014 From India, Bangalore
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15th March 2014 From India, Mumbai
Hello Deepti

There are useful suggestions from Mr.Sinmhan and Dassajal and really great contributions from Lavika, Rupa Mehtha, Krishnan and Binae Raj.I have only little to contribute more so from the point of view of perceptions.

1)Realise that a workplace is a congregation of different psyches.Do not expect it to be a place where like minded people only come together. We need to balance these psyches sometimes by changing our responses to external reactions (stimuli) and some times by bringing a change in the external responses itself.

2) Understand that there will be bouquets and brickbats in the professional like HR. It is difficult to satisfy every employee.Every HR will go through the same pain and confusion in the formatting years of his/her career as you are currently going through. So realise that it happens mostly in every HR's career.

3) Recognise that adversity is a great teacher.It is only in adversity,you develop skills for survival.A Country like Japan rose like phoenix from the ashes of Second World War to become a massive industrial power.

4) understanding the above facts will calm your nerves and make you understand that there is no need to be unusually disturbed and make you more solution centric rather than problem centric.

5) If the feed back given the employees is honest,then the inputs given by DasSajal,Lavika, Rupa ,Krishnan and Binae raj will be of great help.

6) If there i s a pressure group or a coterie and the feedback given is tainted with malice and in bad faith or if their conduct borders on workplace bullying, it needs to be handled deftly.Some suggestions that may be of help are :

a) try to change their perception about you by taking the first initiative by reaching out to them , responding positively to them and trying to address their grievances without waiting for them to come to you and at the same time keeping a record of your efforts in this direction to place before the management when needed;

b) It is not possible to say 'yes' always to win friends but be assertive but learn to say 'NO' without sounding being blunt. Change the way to say it and change the language in which you can express it.

b)if they still persist in their non-cooperative and offensive mode and still give negative feed back despite your positive efforts, you need to neutralize this negative feed back by increasing the positive feed back from more number of employees and if necessary by undertaking some employee engagement activities This will break the barriers of communication with the reticent group while enchaining your communication level with other group of employees and consequently may pave the way for more positive feed back from more number of employees. You can also have a record of your efforts to show the management that the negative feed back has no merit in it.

c) After some time, you will find the coterie to fall in line.

Hope this helps


15th March 2014 From India, Mumbai
Hello Deepti,

I am not from HR background. I just stumbled over this thread. I agree with lot of people & their views. Just wanted to add my view.

First thing, when a new person comes who has an influence over their job & roles (like HR), there is a sense of insecurity & fear in the employee. So normal human & especially Indian tendency is to show that I am superior to you. You work by my guidelines & not the other way.

How to handle this - simple : don't get carried away & panic. That's what they want to see from their actions. When you succumb to their attack you are giving them the upper hand. Stay calm & don't show frustration whenever you see them or talk to them. Important - it's their test - so don't show them you are weakened by their negative complaining.

Another reason they do this is also to get attention. So show your firmness & don't give them too much attention. Just because they gave a negative feedback, don't start trying hard to please them & win them over. This will make them feel that their attack is making you bow down to them. Behave as though nothing has happened or affected you. Be slow & keep watching, if their behavior improves & adjust than just easily giving in.

Just wait for your chance & time. There will be somewhere they have to come to you, that's the time to make them feel your authority & importance, but again make sure not to offend them, you will also be testing different approaches, so look at how they react & take it further. Remember it should not back fire. You can also use such juncture to reprimand them or to check with them, if they have problem with you & why & also can ask them to give reasons for giving the negative feedback. If they have no choice to get this work done through someone else,they will be in a very uncomfortable situation.

Make them understand, without any valid reason to complain on someone is not professional. Tell them a person who is negative with no reason is considered a negative person. You may be senior in this co. but that doesn't mean you need to show your authority to terrorise the new comer. You may think by your actions you are getting into the good books of the management, but you should also remember if you are not able to cope with changes & new people you are not a good team player nor can be a good leader. Nobody wants a dominating behaviors, everybody likes assertive approaches.

Apologise in between & at the end, making them feel you are not advising them nor trying to dominate them. Just tell them I have no problem what you tell about me to others but remember it's a double edged sword. You are also telling about your tolerance, the way you think & your personality. And you take command over the person & situation from there.

I have not gone through all the replies, I just have jotted down quickly my view. Sorry if this may sound a wrong approach. I have been in such situations & this is what I do & take control. But you have to be confident & it needs lot of tact & courage. It has worked for me not necessary it has to for you. But keep it in mind.

Hope it helps.


Gautham Shashangan
17th March 2014 From India, Bangalore
Deepti Rawat
Now your determined as inefficient. To prove your efficiency follow these
-Go through Code of Conduct word by word & understand the intention of it
-Go through HR policies word by word & understand the intentions of it.
These 2 are the essence that constitutes the whole manpower of the organization. So consider these to in mind & oversee an employee's Job description. With these, supervise the connectivity between employee towards CoC,HR policies & JD. Thus the way you appraise the employees & regulate the HR of Co.,
My heart wishes for your successfull career
17th March 2014 From India, Chennai
dear rajan wasan
god bless you
i appreciate your opinion of HR
but please understand it is only HR that keeps the industry going .
dealing with machines is very easy . but dealing with human being is very difficult.
learn to be a good hr manager and study and learn boss management . he is also a human resource.
pl remember that any entrepreneur will look for good HR processes and practices to run his organisation smoothly.
the morale of any organisation depends upon good HR
dr ram
18th March 2014 From India, Indore
Hello Rajan Wassan,
My Boss is a very intelligent and learned man, he keeps all his employees very happy and really cares for them. If he want me to improve than this is good for me. This is a shot of training without a fee while I am getting paid, that is why I took all this constructively because facing a bit difficulty will provide me with great benefits and that too for lifelong.
18th March 2014 From India, Bhopal
Just do 2 things - 1. Play some ice-breaking and rapports building activity every week. 2. Be more active in interactions, confront people with politeness. Regards, Mukul
20th March 2014 From India, Mumbai
Dear Comrade,
Take it positively that u left ur presence felt in the organization. Please understand that HR is a vital support function in business. The duties of HR ( in general & in particular) are guided & controlled by concern unit/business head.
In my opinion, u should held a meeting with ur Boss to have clear understanding of ur duties & responsibilities as HR person with reference to the job described by last HR.
This will give u guidelines to perform HR functions - inclined towards staff welfare - more effectively.
Best Luck
20th March 2014 From India, Mumbai
Hello Deepti,
Please do not take any of these comments personally. Three months is a short time for this kind of evaluation. Do talk to your boss, it should be his or her responsibility to let you know what level of strictness is required with employees. What exactly are your KPI's over which your performance would be evaluated. From the description you gave, this looks like a family owned company I knew in JBP. If its the same organization, then you got to be more assertive there and simply ASK and get everything in mail, including your expectations from your side.
Firm constructive communication can save you much of what you faced here.
6th May 2014 From India, Nagpur
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