Fantastic responses.. most has been said. Would like to add one more dimension to the discussion.

Dear Dinesh,

All that you have written, I happen to be in complete agreement with, except with one little statement.

"Employers can choose the employees but employees cannot choose their bosses." While this though continues to hold true to some extent, we do not require further propagation of this thought. Employment must be viewed for what it is, a MUTUALLY BENEFICAL transaction. Employers who understand this early on, win the war for talent.

When the transaction happens between equals, many issues for both the employer and the employee disappear. Motivation, engagement/participation is naturally higher, and sense of ownership need not be induced through other initiatives.

In some senses, this thought maybe utopian, but where such an culture exists, organizations win naturally.

For the second part,

While experience letter is an issue, my suggestion would be to go ahead and still put in writing via email the unwarranted attention given to you/ prying that has happened. The email should be marked to the one who did such acts, without engaging a lawyer.

This should deter the individual in 2 ways -

1. When you discuss, you can clearly state that you have no intention of pursuing this issue further, if he does not intend to act unprofessionally by holding back any documents.

2. More importantly, some fear will be put into him of performing such an act again, with anyone else. Should he digress, and such an issue surfaces, the email should nail him further. This would make the world a little more safer, IMO.

3. Lastly, it will also give you, as an individual more confidence and closure on this issue. Else, while the damage is not great, your confidence will have been dented to some extent.

Best Wishes.

From India, Mumbai
Yes its good thing said by you, that its better to quit the job rather then working under a such kind of boss, but being a girl never ever try to underestimate yourself because in ancient times itself girls were so smart in handling any problems and also to tell you people a true thing ,my granny was very soft ,nice, out spoken & very arrogant woman when any man tried to harass her she even has slapped too many men for this reason during her day's, in our village she was carrying such a great respect among others, she did not get any support from anybody but i would like to say, that was her will power and courage which safeguarded her throughout her life ,she did never go to any school but was the only lady to take care of agricultural activities from 125acres of land, she does better mathematical calculation then me...so please be proud for being born as girl..
Venkat

From India, Jaipur
Hello everyone,

Thanx for your valuable comments and suggestions.

I did exactly what you have recommended me.I do handle the issue calmly yet confidently.Now following things happened to me in last 2 days.

On Monday, my boss asked me to sign a letter.Acc. to that document, I am resigning from the job.but I refused to sign that by saying that I am not resigning, you are terminating me.Then he refused to give me the termination letter and again said : "You have to come to office till 31 Dec and then I'll give you the experience letter"

I agreed to him on this.

But today, he said:"I am cancelling your termination.There are few problems that I thought we can handle."

but I really don't want to continue in this company anymore because I really can't trust that person anymore.Might be he is planning something so tht's why he is now cancelling my termination.

Also, I thought there must be rules.It's shouldn't be like that one day someone is terminating you and the other day it's cancellation.

pls do suggest me what to do?

Regards,

Priya

From India, Delhi
Dear Priya,

I understand your concern for your security. A person who blows hot and cold cannot be trusted.

Now it is up to you to decide whether to put your foot down. Do you have sufficient evidence of his communication on your termination or making you to work till 31st Dec or withdrawal of termination?

If you do not wish to continue then you may submit resignation from your side. He may not accept it. But then you may tell him that it is in the interest of both the parties to discontinue in light of recent events. You may not be able to give your best performance. He may force you to complete your notice period. However, ask for waiver of the notice period or tell him to count the notice period since he told you to quit the job.

If you have sufficient evidence of your communication with him then tell him if he does not accepts your resignation then you will be forced to approach labour office of your area. Tell him that overall your stay in his company was good and you not wish to tar it at the fag end of your tenure. Approaching labour office would create unpleasant scenes and it is not advisable for both the parties.

If you decide to approach labour office of your area then come back again. Will advice if required.

As told in earlier posts, be polite, be free emotions but be firm also. Everyone's career's boat passes through rough weather. Nobody is exception. Your's is passing right now.

All the best!

Dinesh V Divekar

From India, Bangalore
Hello All,
I have got my experienced letter and that with no negative remarks.
Also, I got new job .
A very big Thanx to all seniors here to motivate me.You all helped me a lot and build a new confidence in me
Thanx nd Regards,
Priya

From India, Delhi
Dear Priya,
It is a great news.
In fact you were over-anxious. Alike excess anger, excess worry also muddles our thinking. Any way take it as Christmas + New year gift to you.
Whatever has happened in the last 1-2 months, take it as temporary setback. Forget the past and plough on. All the best for your new assignment. Learn well and grow well.
Dinesh V Divekar
Hello All,
I have got my experienced letter and that with no negative remarks.
Also, I got new job .
A very big Thanx to all seniors here to motivate me.You all helped me a lot and build a new confidence in me
Thanx nd Regards,
Priya

From India, Bangalore

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