Suffering Because Of Silly Mistake - CiteHR
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Be rude with her & retaliate with the same way she deal with you (in front of other staff). Ok, she is your superior, but she does not have any right to shout on you. If she continue with such practice, take up the matter to the director in the form of a written complaint explaining all that mischievous things that she do with you & do not forget to copy this complaint letter to her. Be bold & she can't do anything against you, unless she is owner or relative to the director (or they have a soft corner towards her).
Sometimes we must adapt the policy tit for tat. Otherwise, this kind of people will not stop their nature. Prove yourself as an efficient staff & a needy person to the company.
wish you all the very best & everything will be alright soon.


You have options enlisted in front of you. If you fear nothing will work or that even the director will not be able to bring any improvement in your situation then call it quits! I see no point in continuing at your job by compromising on your respect. I, on personal level, do not think that this is huge issue. More so, because you have admitted your error and apologised too.

Many times people having the authority tend to misuse their power by making work environment terrible for the "chosen" one. Also, on the introspective note, do ponder if in past too your manager has been complaining or not satisfied with your performance? Or is there a trust issue between you two? As she would have found this is the best time where you could be easily nailed. Secondly, there is no gurantee that after this episode she would not silently hold grudges against you. On your another mistake there could be more serious reactions from her.

My colleagues and Seniors here have guided you aptly!

1.Try speaking to her gently and ask for feedback 2. If she is not ready then you can always approach your director to intervene 3.If none of your approaches are working then leave the organisation.

IF you put up with her abusive / wrong behavior then you yourself are permitting her to ill treat you.

Dear Swati,
I would like to suggest you that started recording the conversations she has with you and also collect evidences about this behaviour.Please record her behaviours from time to time without putting your remarks or opinion about her behaviour.You could also record her voice whenever she shouts at you.
These facts and evidences will help you a lot to prove her incorrect behaviours and also to take legal action against her if the situation demands.Even when you take a discussion with your director please put forth her recorded voice and other evidences before the director so that he also realises that you are speaking on the basis of facts and evidences.
Be firm with her on many things and in many ways without sounding non co-operative, rude, or arrogant.
Even if you want to retaliate do it by being polite and assertive.
Please take a step at a time on her behaviours.
Hope this helps.

Dear All,
Thank you so much for your kind suggestions and precious time, now i am also thinking to switch.
i would like to share few more things, i have observing since long that we always recruit candidates with low salaries and recently we have recruited one female in our team she is a fresher with basic (very low) salary. my manager and she belongs to same community too... she cannot ask for high salary as well as she can speak Kannada, Telugu, and Tamil language where i can speak only Hindi and English. My manager cannot speak proper Hindi and she doesn't like to speak English may be this can be the strong reason behind her behavior. Because i have not done a single mistake before and initiate so many new things, she doesn't have any strong reason to terminate me or ask me to leave.
Well i am very glad to have motivation and support of you all.
Thank you very very much

Hi Swati,

Don't worry no reply to an email is wrong until it causes a compliance issue & damage the business. When you got an Company email address that is the approval given by the company that you can send email & you are authorized to do so. Here I fail to understand the severity of the damage caused by you unintentional mistake of replying. Two things,

1. Who was the person/Employee whom you replied to?

2. How was your manager's relation with the employee to whom you replied?

If you are able to find answers for these questions I am sure you will come out with a solution. Moving out from the organization is a very good option. However what is the guarantee that the next boss you get will be a good one what if the life gets more miserable? So wait, you have been in the system for a long time now, 2.5 years is not a small time. Cool down think, find out the story behind the scenes of your manager's behavior.

Its always said " Every Dog has his day" and this is evident in our corporate world. So wait for your turn watch every step for some days and every thing should be back to normal in few days.

The Best part is that you are from HR, so take this as a conflict and decide which mode you want to use to resolve this (Flight, Fight or Freeze).

All the Best.. Cheers

Dear Swaati,

I had also faced similar situation in 2 of my previous companies. At that time I was not that experienced. So, I couldn't handle the situation properly. Be smart and brave. You have to do 2 things:

1) Keep searching for new job. But finding a suitable job instantly is not easy. So, for few days, you'll have to be patient and optimistic. Since, these days, you have ample time during, so if you have internet access at office try searching jobs on job portals, linkedin etc.

2) Try to do something innovative for Admin or maintaining the old database. Show your innovation to the Director. And, during your meeting with Director, you must say that you are sitting idle these days as you don't have any task assigned. When the Director asks you about the reason, then you open up. But very cleverly. Don't use too much of negative words for your Manager. No complaints against Manager, only show your interest for work and career growth. Then see what happens.

Do not endure harassment anywhere, be brave and act smart.


The best medicine is to win their heart from peace.

You have to find a loop where you can ease her by consider her good qualities.

Don't be emotional rather use your intellect... Sometimes people will have to bend to goodness.

Write a apology email keeping her higher authority in BCC and also mentioned the date from when you sent a wrong mail till to date..

Every time she screams at you, dont bend your head down.. neither say a word.. because every one is watching you.. if you do any one of these. she will win that game becuase you have proved it from your actions..

As mentioned by someone on the thread, arrange a meeting with your director and your manager, when your director questions your manager and you..

what have you done from your side.. you have the proof to show that you were sorry for what happended via emails and personally.. But no hope till to date.... its becoming difficult to work..

After all at the end of the day the director will backup managers.. however he will surely warn her not to behave in such way..after you leave the room...

so good luck.. as suggested by other's you can also look for another company tho.... however i suggest you not to run anyway from problems.. slove the problem around you.. and you will be successful life long...

Last word "Never ever quit the company becuase your manager is not good" quit only for your further growth..

All the very best... :)

Dear Nikhil,

Today also i spoke to her and again i got damn rude reply but i got to one thing that the person was director's relative and she doesn't want anybody to raise the figure on her, whenever she did any mistake she use to put that on me, she never agrees that it was her mistake. this is the first time i have done this silly thing in my overall career even i regret for this as being HR i shouldn't have done this but it happened i can't change it now. that person also doesn't have any problem as we were good colleagues and she hates that person.

I have taken switching as a last option if things will not workout. i also fail to understand why she is reacting like this!! one thing i can assure myself and you all too that i really very good at my work even you could call me a workaholic, no one can find a mistake in my work. only one place where i am lacking that i cannot speak south languages so some time when people cannot communicate in English have to take help from others to avoid miss communication which she doesn't like, and like many silly things are there which doesn't comes under professionalism. one more thing my first company was ICICI bank people were highly professional there so am i, but when i behave professional she tease me and shout at me that i am behaving as over-smart!!

If you could provide me your mail ID I can list-out some few silly things (which I cannot write here), so you can suggest me better. Because I am not doing job just to earn money or I have studied. My carrier is very important for me; I do have a goal to achieve.



Director's relative.. This is sufficient. She rules her department.
Itís not about the email that you sent. Stop thinking from the angle about your way of work and start thinking in different perspective. By any chance, knowingly and un-knowingly did you hurt her emotions?
If you think so.. Then your approach on professional front will not work out.. Ask her a direct question.. By your luck if she answer's make sure your silent..And listen to her completely.. Once she is finished... finally ask her what can be done from your side to be forgiven..
This will be the last resort.. or dont waste time and start looking for growth..
All the best

Dear Swati,
As you told, your Director excused you and advised not to repeat again and that is also known to your Manager, I do not think that, this will be the reason why your Manager behaving you like this. Try to know.
And, If there is no reason except this you have mentioned, you have three options,
1-Report to your Director
2-Keep patient and continue, thinking that, it is a part of professional life
3-Start to search another.
It is totally depend on you, what you choosing. Because it is not a matter of policy, procedure, principle. It depends on your personal procedure to face and solve the problems in your life.

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