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#Anonymous

My supervisor told me that he has noticed that I visit washroom too often and I need to reduce it. But being a woman we need to visit washroom more often (especially during some days in month) than men. Also, I do admit that some days I might have done it as I was not feeling well and some colleagues noticed it, but that does not mean I do it everyday. Also, I need to drink more water in summer and monsoon, so I do visit a couple of times more than others. Being a female I was embarrassed to give any clarification to him Do I talk to females in HR department. But I don't want any bad blood with my supervisor and I don't want to take it negatively. Already there are some TMs who are against me and filling his ears against me and this can be new issue. Should I simply ignore and don't drink water so that I can control my visits (though it can have bad effect on my health). My job do require being on desk, but I work for nine and half hour, so is it wrong to visit washroom 5 to 6 times a day?
15th July 2013 From India, Ahmedabad
#Anonymous
My question is that what if he takes it negatively if I go to HR and what if he go against me? END OF THE DAY I HAVE TO WORK UNDER HIM (Here I haven't mentioned that in caps to shout or being rude, but I want to put more emphasis on what apprehension I have) Should I go to HR or not?
15th July 2013 From India, Ahmedabad
Dear Friend,

Congratulations to you that you have gurts to open such too personal & natural caused matter in forum,

It is quiet surprising that how any one, means any one can ask such thing directly,in fact i am embarrassed that how a male boss can ask such thing..

well coming to the point, lets not discuss about internal politics,ear filling etc.

If there is any female boss then go in group of girls or individual and meet her,tell her about the situation you are facing because of your boss,and explain mental pressure after hearing this thing,as a female she can understand the problem warn him for not repeating it to any one in future,

2nd if you dont have any female boss same thing you can boldly discuss to H.R,

3rd if you are comfortable with above two options go directly to his cabin ,sit in front of him and tell that he is not supposed to ask such things, tell him in every family there are womens in formof mother,sister,wife and various other respective names, one you will talk he will never dare to act like this,

As a responsible boss he would have opted some other ways to discuss this thing, but still its your problem and if others are not coming with you, go ahead and solve this issue,

Drinking less or more water in any weather is our personal matter, no one can avoid natural calls ,even avoiding it may cause various diseases and problems to health,If natural calls in normal days are attended on proper intervals then it cant be a cause to ask such thing to any of female staff even in particular few days if one takes time in wash room then it is only to be watched not to knock.

As a boss he may have any doubt might be created or he would have find some how that normally you take more time in wash room may be a cause that he asked it to you, he might be worried for results .performance etc but still after all such points he or any one is not supposed to ask mentioned things.

And if one takes more time in wash room due to his/her habit to performs things so slowly then this point has to be worked on , not for showing your boss or other anti employees but to analyse our habit and we must try to overcome such habits if any.

so be cool ,be bold to justify your point.

Regards.
15th July 2013 From India, Lucknow
I have faced a similar situation like yours. The thing is that I drink a lot of water and so I also have to go to the washroom more than others.
What I do is that I keep my others breaks short and keep a mental log of the time. At the end of the day it is all about meeting your deadlines and KRAs.
If your boss has pointed it out, talk to him and explain the situation. Tell him that you can keep a time log so that he knows how much time you are taking for your breaks. Your break time is 'YOURS' so it all depends upon you how you take it. Till the time you are doing your work properly, meeting your deadlines and KRAs.... the frequency of your visiting washroom should not be an issue.
16th July 2013 From India, Delhi
Dear friend,
What a bizarre situation! By the way are we adults or school children? I can understand if teacher tells these things to some primary student.
Is your supervisor interested in sticking to chair or output of the work? Have the KRAs of your work been well-defined? Is your work relates to taking calls from customer? Does absence from your desk hampers someone else's work too (like bank employees)?
Anyway never stop going to the wash room. This is because it may lead to kidney stones or other problems. Otherwise suggestions given by Atul Sharma are also good.
Ok...
Dinesh V Divekar
16th July 2013 From India, Bangalore
Dear
There are no restrictions as such that only so many times you need to visit the wash room. Just be plain and straight that you were sick and your health conditions were not supporting.
Hope all men do understand and also your senior too will have women in his family. Dont worry, first take care of your health. In case, you feel you feel you will be safe if you explain to him, just give it in writing, due to health reasons you had to do that, and nothing in person to avoid he work.
cheer up, dont worry. its all in your hands how you solve the matter as an matured person.
Regards,
Jayalakshmi.M
16th July 2013 From India, Bangalore
Dear friend,

I do not have words to explain my feeling. This is complete unethical behaviour from your boss.

Before anything, I'd like to understand the below things.

1) Is he concerned about your productivity?

2) Are you meeting your deadlines regularly?

3) Did he share any feedback with you ever in terms of your work or your timelines or targets assigned?

4) Do you share a good relation with him? (Professionally)

5) Is he trying to convey any other message in this context?

6) Is he a smoker? Won't he go for breaks (though he is not a smoker, he might take breaks for other stuff like coffe or a chat or any other)

However, I am sure, either ways irrespective of your answer wether yes or no, he is not supposed to talk to you like this.

Unlike other employees (specially college freshers and people with a rural background) you have tried analysing the situation and I am sure you will be able to fix the issue.

I'd suggest, talk to your line HR and try to explain the situuation. They can always convey the message to your senior in positive way which should not effect your personal & professional relation with your line manager.

All the best!
16th July 2013 From India, Hyderabad
Hi,
I feel your boss is not happy with some of your actions and unable to justify/explain those point.
Now immaturely he is pointing to your personal time to blame you.
Somtime the bosses are bosses coincidentally, though they dont deserve it; by luck they are boss.
So they dont have experience in how to communicate their displasure to their subordinate on a particular point.
Bosses like yours is showing his displasure using such silly point (since he is able to catch you on this point only).
I think you clearly ask your boss - Hey i know you have some displeasure in mind. Can we talk on the actual matter instead of beating around the line (usage of washroom).
He might not be happy with on points such as overcommunication with collegue or office timings or some other point on which he is unable to make any observation or comment.
I think you should dig this matter to the end with boss.
Thanks
16th July 2013 From India, Mumbai
Dear Friend,
Most of the companies restrict using cell phone inside the work premises. In such circumstances, employees do use their cellphones in
wash rooms. They keep their cellphone in vibration mode and do walk into wash rooms when they get alerts. I have seen such instances. Our HR has warned such cases of-course not to female employees. Please check if this is not the reason. Otherwise be bold to tell him that is your normal routine
which you cannot avoid. A friendly suggestion, please consult a doctor also which is not harmful.
Regards
Rathna
17th July 2013 From India, Bangalore
If this is a genuine problem, then you should communicate, in a good way, however, if the person who needs to be communicated does not understand, you just have to ignore. You go to do your best at work, and sometimes, your personal needs such as teh ones you mentioned increases productivity, does not reduce it. Explain this to him.
regards
17th July 2013 From India, Hyderabad
I totally agree with Vikas above. There are larger issues at play here. This is not about washroom usage. It is about feedback which your boss doesnt have the guts to give you directly...and should be taken seriously by mutual discussion without wasting further time.
18th July 2013 From India, Khopoli
Dear sister I think that it is better for you to tell your supervisor directly with your problem , without caring about others
19th July 2013 From Saudi Arabia, Jeddah
Its sound so funny, this remind me of my school days. Teacher used to impose restriction on going to washroom because we used to pull cigarette and chew tobacco there.
But in professional environment this kind of imposes is totally exhibits the mentality of the senior. My views talk with him to know the motive behind this and plan further action according to that.
Already expert has post their views and comments; thanks to all.
19th July 2013 From India, Bhubaneswar
Dear Friend
You are a female employee and he is a male boss. He do not have rights to discuss such sensitive issues with you. He can approach a female HR and she can discuss it with you.
He only have rights to complain your absence on your desk, further details should be discussed by female HR.
Let him communicate his expectations with female HR and you discuss with her to come to acceptable solution.
A good boss should support their junior with their health issues, irrespective if they are male of female.
Its all about not allowing people to cross their line
19th July 2013 From India, Mumbai
Hi :
While I understand your predicament at this juncture but I would like to ask is your Job responsibilities related to front desk or customer facing. In such a case the frequency of your visits to washroom may not be such a big issue but the duration you spend in the washroom may be getting highlighting. Being away from your desk becomes more evident especially when you are handling these responsibilities.
Nevertheless a male boss speaking to you about this is certainly not palatable. Politely just tell him that you need to visit for XYZ reasons and leave it at that. Certainly you should speak to someone in HR and inform about this incident. Continue doing your work well !!!
ALL THE BEST
19th July 2013 From India, Pune
Dear Friend,
Irrespective of gender , nature call or any issue can be discussed infornt of an audience,
kindly do approch an Sr female manager or advised HR incharge.
do not approach the reporting manager right now.
Discuss all the fact based things with HR and seek advise.
as i think he might send for a round table discussion between both of you one to one.
if you are not happy kindly drop a mail to HR head for derogatory comments on person.
marking cc to HR if you want else not require.
if still they are hesitating drop a mail to me.i will help you out further.
Regrads,
Kailash
22nd July 2013 From India, Bangalore
#Anonymous
Its really absurd...asking such thing to a female employee... He might be mentally disturbed. I would say be brave and communicate to your HR politely about the issue..and let HR handle him
23rd July 2013 From India, Mumbai
Dear friend,
If going to the toilet often is only an occasional matter and not a perennial one, I sugget you discuss the same with your boss. However,if it is a constant matter and the cause is medical, you may want to consult your doctor and get a medical certificate to that effect. Your boss will then understand. Whatever the situation, ensure that your work is not hindered.
S. Ponusamy
24th July 2013 From Malaysia, Ipoh
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