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Winniek
6

Hi Shivani,

As a female HRM, I emphathise with your situation. I think you have gotten a good share of advice from the above posts. I would like to suggest you read-up on 'Impression Management' from whichever source you can get. Sometimes consciously or unconsciously, our actions and words will always cause people to form impressions of us ranging from whether we are professional, novices, firm, fair, respectful, considerate, helpful, etc. Unfortunately some impressions formed of us by others are never discussed directly and we have no opportunity to explain or correct ourselves.

My advice is based on your comment "all other staff members are very traditional and cannot communicate even properly. All of them are very unprofessional and from villages. Somehow i m not matching with them". Could it be that you have mental stereotypes of how village or traditional type people normally are and so are getting a 'self-fulfilling prophesy' - i.e. why act differently if she has already concluded on what we are?? Or they too have a stereotype of 'young female/urban bosses/HR executives' and the two parties are caught up in a cycle of sorts?

You might be surprised that while you may not have uttered such words to them, they can infer them from your attitude, communication style or decisions you are making on a day to day basis. You have to determine first what impression do I want my staff or seniors or even external parties get of me as a HR practitioner - and then align your actions accordingly.

I hope you find a way out and I like your attitude of 'not escaping' but sometimes I vote if you have given it your best shot and still a job is beginning to affect your personality or health beyond reasonable degree, then it is no crime to decide there is no cultural fit and find somewhere else where you enjoy your job and work environment - after all we spend much time at work and deserve to be happy there too...

Good luck...

Winnie

From Kenya
kannanmv
256

Dear Ms.Shivani,
"I have set the whole process, Documentation, implemented different policies, did some required improvements, started employee engagement activities..."
Shift the focus from I to WE, you will find a sea change. In other words involve your people while you implement change in procedures/ policies etc.
Regards
M.V.Kannan

From India, Madras
saiconsult
1898

Dear Shivani

All the members above have given excellent inputs and guidance on how to handle such situation. I can only narrate a story in Buddha's life to remind you that this is not the first isntance of it's kind in this world and even men of spiritual eminence like Buddha were not spared from such ragging by ignorants and more important to know is how they handled it. The story goes like this. Buddha became more popular with his teachings among masses which basically brings awareness among people about fanatic beliefs.This angered the Pundits(Scholras) in the kingdom because no body is paying attention to them. So the Pundits decided to insult and humiliate him in public so that people stop going to him. On one fine morning when Buddha sat under a tree along with his disciples and followers, engaging himself in a spiritual discourse, the Pundits came and called him names, showerd abuses and heaped insults on him. Buddha remained unmoved and smiling in his sleeves as he know fully what made them to vent their feelings which is their insecurity. Having seen Buddha not reacting to them and having tired of their verbal attack( please know that anger consumes lot of energy), they left the place.Therafter one of the disciples asked Buddha as to why and how he did not react or get annoyed? Buddjha replied " if some one comes to you and donates a coin, mistaking that you need it, if you accept and take that coin, it becomes your's and if you refuse to take the coin, the coin remains with the person who tries to donate it".

The moral of the story is self mangement. before trying to manage a difficult situation or bring about a change in attitudes, you need to first mange yourself or change yourself. you need to respond but not to react to the external stimuli.This internal or self mangement is the key and equips you to be in a better position to deal with external unfriendly stimuli.Therefore my suggesstions to you is to first bring about a change the way you are looking at the situation in the following manner.

1) First be aware that any thing new is resisted by any thing traditional. If the change is beneficial and meant for common good, finally it is going to be accepted.

2)Instances of this kind do not happen to me alone and they happened from times immemorial and they will continue to happen in future also. Remember Umakanthan's anecdote.

3) It is an issue of attitudes and beliefs. You are already aware that the employees come from traditional back ground and do not ven communiacte proeprly. If that is so,they cannot be expected to shed their deep rooted belief system and embrace liberal attitudes overnight, but sure they will, if the effotrts are persisted in right direction.

4) Explore yourself whether uou need to change your attitude and the way you look at them.I here like to draw your attention to Winnie's suggestion and Mr.Kannan's suggestion to change the focus from 'I' to 'we'

.

4) Having been aware of this back ground, do not take their remarks to your heart so that they will not hurt you and press your head in a procative mood. Let them also know that you mean business but you are there to help them grow also.

5) towards this end, talk to your mangement to arrange a staff meeting with all the employees to inform about HR and it's objectives and to drive home the point that they all need to work together for the common good.I draw your attention here to Lalitha and Yogitha's suggestions.Do not go to management with a compalint against them, but with asuggestion as a measure , necessary to inducti employees to work culture.mangment may not like compaliants against employees who are delivering goods for it.Involvement of seniors will drive home the point that the mangement has recruited you for specific purpose and you have their backing.

6) If possible, arrange a day's workshop for the employees, inviting a professional to speak on new trends or problem solving strategies related to their field of work. Such actions at ground level makes them accept HR and you as some one committed to their growth. Once that happens, they will treat you as member of their team. Remember that the feeling that you are apart from them but not part of them makes them resort to such acts of teasing.

5) If all this fails, then you need to discipline them.Frame a work place conduct policy and bring this to their notice.

6) You are capable of doing this since you have genuine enthusiasm towards HR.

B.Saikumar

HR & Labour Law Advisor

Mumbai

From India, Mumbai
simplysandy_23@yahoo.co.in
1

Dear Shivani,
just remebrer to stick to your principals, procedures and policies of your company. Be bold in your thoughts and speech. Remember one this HR is a thankless job, give your best and expect the least from employees. Appreciation will come one day but do not force it it should come from within.
Regards,
Sandesh Chavan

From India, Mumbai
SAIBHAKTA
104

Dear Shivani,
I remember what my boss had once said.Be polite but firm.The same thing is reflected in the saying 'hand of steel in velvet gloves for a handshake'.I suppose you need to practice this to some extent.

From India, New Delhi
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