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Thread Started by #n102

I was working as an Executive Assistant in a small firm. Great working atmosphere, very fulfilling job. However, not very professional, like PF only after 6 months, part of salary in cash, etc.

Got new offer from very reputed company. Joined here a month now. But there is a lot of harrasment from Chairman's wife, who is also a Co. director. I get the feeling she wants me to resign because post my recruitment they feel there was no need for a new recruit in the 1st place. She wants me to study about 25 old huge box files intensely which have to be eventually discarded.

Plus there are a lot of dual instructions from Chairman and her. But he eventually gives in to her demands to maintain the peace. I feel like a ping pong ball!

Now, my old employer, not knowing of my current fate, has made me a similar offer to the present employer with PF, salary by cheque, etc. He has emailed me saying the reason for this is because he cannot get a person of my capabilities!

Should I go back to the smaller firm or would it be better to stay with this bigger firm? If the Chairman's wife is not happy with me here, can she terminate me during my probation period, because if so, I will then have neither this job nor the old job offer. Am very confused. Please help.
1st February 2013 From India, Pune
At the end-of-Day, it's 'Peace of mind' AND 'Satisfaction' [in your words 'fulfilling'] that finally counts in whatever one does.
Given that your Chairman's wife in the current job is also an active participant @ office AND 'seemingly' against your presence, there's no guarantee that you can survive on a long-term basis. Everything else what you mentioned--reputed company, etc--would come later.
Like the Saying goes: "I am the Boss of this house & I have my Wife's permission to say it". Even if your Chairman can resist her for sometime, how long he can is subjective--after all he too needs to have his peace-of-mind.
There's one Old Saying: You will be happy where you are NEEDED rather than @ a place you NEED. Hope you get the point.
All the Best.
1st February 2013 From India, Hyderabad
Please be cool and have control on yourself with the things first because you are actually going through the “Change Fever” which is obvious I would say.

You were working with a small firm but now you are working with a big company with new things, new bosses, new working conditions, new mates and different style and system, which I believe you need to understand and accept. Sometime when people like you who have worked with small firms and joins new and big company takes time to get familiar with the new changes and in acceptance of new work conditions.

With just a month, I do not think you can understand your new Bosses and their expectations from you so easily even the work. You are an Executive Assistant and I believe, you know why reading filling and sort of work is important for you (EA/PA). Perhaps she found something in you or by your profile and expecting something from you, which you are not getting. However, yes if she wants you to read 25 huge box file instantly, which is not practical and possible or maybe there are some miscommunication that made you feel like this because no Boss expect his/her EA to read file in a day or week but to understand the work culture by going through the historical data and communication held in past.

About dual instructions, can you please explain it further?

I would suggest you to not to take these things otherwise, have patience, be calm and compose, spend time or accept the new work conditions.

One more thing, to have a better understanding between you and your Boss, you need to spend time with them by any work/discussions or sharing yourself with work. Boss & EA relation is different then any other professional relations that seeks much more understanding and effort.

Btw, what harassment you are talking about here?
1st February 2013 From India, Gurgaon
all the best for your future,
if ur previous company is recalling for the job, this mean they have some respect and importance for u . go back to ur previous organization .
dont look if it is big or small ,
1st February 2013 From India, Hyderabad
I think u should go back to the previous Employer !! Job satisfaction is more important than anything else , if you have Job satisfaction , your productivity would go higher & higher day by day.
1st February 2013 From India, Chennai
Dear frnd,
After all the new opinions and thought of others i would say like Job satisfaction is more important to us coz if we wont show our interest then their will be no closer.Even do think once with yourself "what exactly do i suppose to do as im getting trouble with this new job or can not be able to proceed any more then at my previous one are asking me to join again coz i have that much of abilities to rise up?" i personally suggest you to go with recall one and start your career.......:)
This stuff usually comes in our mind ignore it....
1st February 2013 From India, Hyderabad
Judge your selves what is correct. The suggestions given by the well wishers should be analyzed and a decision should be taken by your selves, after all the the life is yours to expect he positive results. Change of job might bring you new prospects and new challenges
All the best
1st February 2013 From India, Bangalore
Hi, Reading the mail i suggest that u should go back to the previous Employer, Job satisfaction is more important than anything else , if you have Job satisfaction ,You have everthing
1st February 2013 From India, Nagpur
Dear Anil, I have 13 years of experience behind me with big corporate companies in Mumbai and London and I am aware of what you call 'Change Fever'. Unfortunately, this company although it is reputed (I wouldn't say Big for me considering I have worked for firms much much bigger than it), the style and pace of working is very traditional and slow.

I am used to a more modern style of working where to understand the history of a company, you can go through files, but I wouldnt think it necessary to study files that are going to be of no use in the future and eventually discarded. What is the need for me to waste my energy over that?

By dual instructions, I mean the Chairman gives me one, but the wife shoots that down and gives a whole diff set of instructions altogether, which by the way dont make much sense to me.

Other colleagues, way of working, etc. I can easily manage.

The volume of business is not much to handle and with my experience, 2 weeks of going through past corresp. was enough for me to carry on th job now.

But, what I am finding difficult is to understand the wife's expectations of me. When asked, she will not elaborate. All she says is go through the files....

She has asked the Chairman not to give me any new jobs to do unless I finish studying those files intensively. When I clarified this with the Chairman, all he said was "I know the exercise is futile, but please do what she says, otherwise, she will just be upset with all of us."

I probably should mention here that the Chairman is 70 yrs. old and wife is 68!
1st February 2013 From India, Pune
It is good that you have a vast and enough experience to understand the working conditions and can manage the things easily, and if you feel that the working conditions are not according to you or not suitable, must not continue or leave your job. However, if you feel that the main problem, which bothering you, is that the wife of your Boss (Another Boss) who has a different work style and then your Boss (Her Husband), I believe there is seriously lack of understanding.

Do you really want to get the solution of your problem or say how can you handle the problem/situation you are going through here? Although you can leave your job anytime and there is nothing that can stops you by doing this, except employment conditions but if you seriously wanna handle the situation or are here to discuss about how to deal with your 2nd Boss (wife of your Boss), I believe we are worth discussing, else do what other are suggesting to QUIT.

Experience gives knowledge, better understanding, different style of working, patience and more maturity to handle the situation/working conditions. This is the main difference between an EA with 13+ experiences and EA with 2/3 years of experience. And these qualities and confidence make you able to handle the volume of business, related correspondence and communication between Bosses and other departments being a bridge/ an essential part or most important connection.

Apart from that, with an EA position, what quality and skill required most is to be to understand the “Expectations of a Boss” and to have a good communication system or relationship. Hope you read what I said above about the relationship/terms between Boss and EA, which is very different from any other professional relationship /terms under an Organization.

You also know how senior with age your both Bosses are, therefore, it is now more important to understand their expectations with you (their EA) who have a wonderful experience. The statement and reactions by your Boss after sharing yourself with him about the situation are also evidently saying the points you have to work with henceforth.

Regarding reading files, if you feel that this is a waste of time, I feel there is nothing to say more about it but I do not agree with you.

Lastly, I would suggest you to speak to her (Wife of your Boss) in this regard like you did with your Boss but I feel that you need to compose yourself first. By speaking terms, problem can be solve within few minutes and I believe you can.
1st February 2013 From India, Gurgaon
The secret in making a choice, is to understand which part of the dualism offers you more takeaway, that will matter for you in the long run.

You have worked for 13yrs, hence you are a senior-to-mid level talent, in terms of experience. Working in a small firm may need crucial responsibilities to justify your role. If you want to move ahead, you may need to scale up your responsibilities.

You have weighed the situation too well with your existing employer. Thats how you are sure, that you will not be confirmed. Please move from the role fast. You resigning from the job will have far less impact than being terminated.

If you go back you your ex-employer, please do it with more responsibilities in mind. Agree to ignore the faults , but work for growth. Your ex-employer knows your worth, hence will give you full support in the areas you wish to grow.

One thing that kills us professionally, is when we cannot scale up our responsibilities. As long as you keep growing in terms of professional maturity, you will have fewer reasons to worry. Working for any IT Giant as a programmer, isn't as good as designing the next iPhone, as a startup.

Wish you all the best!
1st February 2013 From India, Mumbai
Dear N102

I have gone through your posts carefully.

Some risks in life are worth taking; but where the reward is just the feeling of working for a bigger company, sans any job satisfaction, learning or any growth opportunities; it is not worthwhile.

Even wise make mistakes, but then they learn from it and correct it. I think, your dilemma is not being able to accept it with objectivity and dispassion.

You call it a bigger company, and that is what made you join it; however by the details given by you, it seems more of a family run cottage enterprise. Where the family squabbles of a husband and wife continue over their official space and life; what benefits can you expect.

Moreover, there is a Damocles sword hanging over you, that of the lady Director, the wife; who has no business otherwise to interfere in your dealing with your Boss who is your reporting officer. As things stand, your tenure is totally at the pleasure of the lady; and as you rightly apprehend, any day you can be given marching orders.

Please go through Tajsateesh's response carefully. he has hit the nail on the head and I tend to agree fully with his views - "You will be happy where you are NEEDED.... "...

Subsequently, you can keep on trying to look for better opportunities; but at this point of time its better to save your job, career, possible financial loss in case you lose your job and do not find any in a short time; and above all your peace of mind.

Warm regards.

P.S. (Edited/Added) : After hitting the Post button, I saw (Cite Contribution)'s response, which must have come as I was typing... I strongly agree with her views and the logical way she has put them across.
1st February 2013 From India, Delhi
Further to (Cite Contribution)'s & Rajkumar's responses, suggest give a close look @ the line (Cite Contribution) mentioned: "If you go back you your ex-employer, please do it with more responsibilities in mind".
Suggest use the opportunity of renewed association with your old company in a way that you PRE-EMPT any chances of them 'feeling'--now or later--that you rejoined due to problems @ the new company--Negotiate for HIGHER/LARGER responsibilities.......NOT to focus on designation mind you, since that would follow automatically with a larger role/responsibility.
Indirectly, you are also conveying that your primary intent of moving in the first place was for a scaling-up in career.
Hope you get the point.
All the Best.
1st February 2013 From India, Hyderabad
If the wife of the boss controls the shots, it would have been better if she would have employed you in the first place !
As you say, it does not seem a professionally conducted company, with squabbles between husband and wife (at this age !) and if they have no second succession plan in place, after a few years, the company will not remain "big"
If the succession plan is in place, then work with the successor (son or whoever is next in line), and see if you can gel well with that person.
Or else, return to your old job. If the earlier employer has called you back, he definitely knows your worth and you can take higher responsibilities in that firm.
Do you want to be a small fish in a big pond, or big fish in a small pond.
Decision is yours.
2nd February 2013 From India, Mumbai
All of them have given valuable advice, which is very useful for you to take a decision. Remember you have started Off On The Wrong Foot, with the bosses wife, and as per what you have said it seem she is the bigger boss. It is most important Finding Your Feet:, you are having such vast experience and still she is treating you in this manner show's how immature she is.
It is better to go back to your previous employee or best look for another job. I don't think you have future here. Peace of mind, respect and freedom to perform your duty is very important, which I am sure you will not find in your current organization. So all the best for your future.
2nd February 2013 From India, Mumbai
Dear ,
I totally agree with Mr. Anil & other Gentleman - what ever they said is right .Running away from the difficult condition is not the solution try to face them , Peace of Mind is imp. same you can get here once you understand the expectation & requirement of your lady boss.
Secondly Going thru old record means , he may be asking you to find a solution on exit of the staff also. I would suggest you to make summary of all the file & evaluate them & make a good presentation with help the of senior or good Friend/well wisher, wish will give clear Idea about the old employee, current employee .Also will tell them , or will give idea & help them in recruiting new staff ,
Lastly take every new thing as challenge, then only you will grow.
So all the best.
2nd February 2013 From India, Mumbai
At the end, it\'s job satisfaction that matters. If one is not happy at work, whatsoever income is earned, it\'s of no use. And, you are even offered same compensation from the previous employer. Secondly, you are approached by your last co. on their own and it\'s clear that u\'ll get more respect in prev organization. Last but not least, u hav to see wheather u want to have a haappy satisfied life easily or want to have even higher satisfaction by getting success after struggling in current organization. Also, note that high risk is also involved in achievibg higher satisfaction. Good luck.
2nd February 2013 From India, Delhi
My Question to you all who are talking about "Job Satisfaction"
How many of you are satisfied with present work conditions at your work place or with your job and at what percentage?
I would be really happy to know your honest status and views about it
Second, would like to refer the articles and request you to have a look at once
Getting 'motivated' to work - Times Of India
"If there are some unpleasant things that you don't like at work, just think that 'it will pass' and in the long run it's your life and goals that are important. The job satisfaction, the money and the break that you take from work is only enriching your life."
3rd February 2013 From India, Gurgaon
Dear N102

Your comment is very much confusing. Now lets talk about your situation, the wish of your 2nd Boss that you read 25 box files is not wrong. Any one who wish to make a good career in any company is supposed to know the past working of the company these files can give you the information about the decision making process and the mind set of that Company.

The confusion/duplication in orders must not be taken very seriously, understand where ever Boss's wife attend office employees have these type of problems and they have to learn or devise the way to deal with them without hampering the work. In many companies where two or more people control working and hold similar powers these problems exists and people working there have to adjust with them. I have seen companies where Chairman and MD were having differences and they were very polite to each other but they were always shouting on the seniors who were close to any one of them and some of the senior people were feeling like punching bags where any one will come and punch them.

I have felt that you are very much unsatisfied in present circumstances and you were unsatisfied for various reasons with your previous employer. Now you have seen both sides and may be in better position to decide which vice is better then other. But friend you must be careful that this should not become your nature and if happens so it will be a big problem for you. No unsatisfied employee can perform well in any Job.

You feel this lady Boss will sack you but I feel this may never happen as every Boss is different and in case of some ladies who become superiors just by the virtue of being the wife of Boss, they try to exert more powers/pressures on employees as they feel that's the way to get respected. So if you wish to stay in this company you have to forget these things and have to make adjustments and understand the nature of this Lady. If you feel it's too much for you to manage just leave and go back to your previous Company but before going back you must accept the shortcomings in that Company & make yourself mentally agree to the working of that Company.

One most important point to discuss with old employer is about the future of your salary etc. as some time Employers employ some one at higher salary and later feel bad and then they try to avoid giving proper increments etc.

Lastly I would like to say, you have all the information and have enough experience and are sure that you can't adjust in this company. So why you are so confused, are you waiting for your previous employer to find a new person or for new employer to handover a sack letter to you. Dear confusion and halfhearted actions or lack of actions can ruin one's career.

The last thing I wish to say " It's better to Rule in Hell than Serve in Heaven.

With Best wishes.
3rd February 2013 From India, Delhi
Dear friend,
Sorry to learn about the pathetic situation you have to overcome. At the end of the day peace of time and job satisfaction is important not money alone. Just forget the past as though it was just a bad dream.
It is better to go back to your old employer itself. But once you approach him; let it not look like you are trying to gain his sympathy. Be very diplomatic and professional in approach remember. As far as possible do not comment on your present employer and wife. How much ever good he might be or happy he is to welcome you back? you have been marked. Once you go back try to stick on with him for quite some time (say 3-5 years) so that these things do not happen often. There may not be a third time whatsoever. Even though I am not aware about your educational background, during your tenure with him, try to upgrade yourself by doing some good courses useful for long term future. so that you need not have to look back for ever.
4th February 2013 From India, Bangalore
Thank you all for your comments and guidance. To those of you who have suggested that I stay and do not give up, I have to say that it is very well to 'rise to the challenge' and it is not something very difficult for me considering my experience. However, you will also agree that sometimes age makes a person very difficult to change or to even speak to! In my case, the lady director does exactly that. She does not want to have any communication with me. Then, how is it possible to make any progress?

Secondly, the manner of her speaking, as some of you have rightly pointed out, is very derogatory. I am made to feel like a 'raw fresher' in her words.

Anil, I completely understand the importance of going through files, but the files in question here are OLD, we are never going to use that aspect in this business again...they are CLOSED files, hence my finding the exercise futile.

Besides, and most importantly, all my experience has always taught me, and also as Anil rightly pointed out the professional relationship that an EA shares with his/her boss is quite different from other positions. You need to work very closely with your boss to be able to be the right link between him and his contacts or deal with other employees in the plant/factory, etc. But, here, the boss's wife has specifically asked him not to give me 'any jobs'. How can I then work well....or rather how am I going to work at all? Going through old correspondence to understand the business is part of the job, but in my case, according to my Lady Boss, it is the ONLY JOB. How can I derive any satisfaction from this?

Won't my other professional EA skills in which I am so good at go all rusty if I am not going to use it at all? The next generation of Management is the boss's son-in-law based in Mumbai and I have a strong feeling that is where the ops will move once the baton is handed over. In my present scenario, I cannot relocate. Hence my concern for the future.

I have to also say a special Thank you to (Cite Contribution), TajSateesh and Raj Kumar Hansdah for going through my predicament carefully and offering such valuable wisdom, that is most important of all, practical and one that can be put to use. My self-esteem had taken a nose dive in this organisation, but now I feel much reassured. Thanks again.
4th February 2013 From India, Pune
Dear friend,

Though job hopping every now and then will not be good, at times we will find it is necessary to change the job due to various reasons. See the pros and cons and be clear in mind about your next step. Sometimes one will have to sacrifice something to gain another thing. Seniors have discussed the relevant points in detail. Now it is up to you to take a decision and move ahead.

There may be confusions during change from one job to another - in the mind of the employee as well as the employer. The new employer may try to assess your worthiness and if it is not in a professional way it will create confusions in the employee.

When you have confusions talk to your employer in a professional way. Think what you can contribute to your employer in return for the salary. Try to do a little more than what you are expected to. This increases your worth.

If your previous employer is welcoming you back it is a clear indication that he finds worth in you. Decide and talk to him your terms. If you respect them you will be more valued there. Also, as others mentioned, do not talk about the problems you faced in your new company.

Good luck.

4th February 2013 From India, Mumbai
I have seen you problem, I advice you to stay with your present job and keep trying for New opening, You are capable of managing your profile any where u work so keep confidence in yourself and wait.
I also advice you to study the organisation which you plan to join take opinion from your friends and see the companies website.
All the Best
9th March 2013 From India, Mumbai
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