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It is just a two-letter word, but not a dirty one. It

is the simplest thing to say, yet we hesitate to say

it. The inability to say NO can cause mental stress?we

do not want to do something, yet we cannot refuse, as

we always want to be good. The moment I learnt to say

NO I become happy person and now I can say NO to

people without any guilt.

1. PRACTICE SAYING NO

I have a photo in my office, which shows Rama looking

at the golden deer that Sita is pointing at. If only

Rama had said NO, he could have saved Sita and many

other headaches and heartaches! Saying NO without

hurting others is a skill. When my wife requested me

to purchase a Toyota, I had to say NO because I

already have a Honda City, and thus saved myself from

the stress I could have experienced while trying to

repay the loan I would have taken. If you say no once

you will get used to the word and will say it with

ease and without guilt.



2. GIVE PRIORITY TO YOURSELF


Think about your needs and wellbeing first. There is

nothing bad about it. Don nott feel guilty. Recently a

close relative asked me for a loan of Rs 3 lakh for a

year. Although he had promised to repay the loan in

time and with interest, I said NO and saved myself

from sleepless nights, thinking about the

possibilities of not getting back the money. I also

saved myself from straining the relationship in the

long run.

3. IT REQUIRES DETERMINATION

Years ago, I did not say NO to alcohol and sweets,

which could have saved me from pancreas surgery and

two heart bypasses, followed by diabetes, blood

pressure, glaucoma, and what not! Ten years ago I

learnt to say no to all such goodies and here I am

today, fit as a fiddle. Similarly, saying no to a

friend or a relative also requires determination. Once

you are determined you do not want to give any more,

your day is mad

4. REALISE THE WEAKNESS

of not been able to say no. If Yudhistir had said no

to gambling, Mahabharata wouldn?t have happened.

Realise that you need to set boundaries for yourself

and allowing anybody to overstep will be harmful. Your

no should be a firm one and don?t give up under

pressure.

5. STICK TO YOUR PLAN

If saying YES to someone throws your other plans to

the wind, ask yourself if it is worth it. You can say

no to parties if you have other plans. Just because

you have been invited does not mean you have to go.

Learn to do things that make you happy.

6. EXPLAIN YOUR REASON

Tell your friend why you are unable to do the work for

her. Make it clear that your reason to say no is not

unreasonable. Since I have learnt to say NO to my

friends and relatives?of course, when I feel it is not

possible to accommodate their requests, I am a happier

person living without guilt.

7. NO CAN BE BENEFICIAL

Do not let anybody take you for granted. Saying NO is

your right. Let others respect your right.

8. BUY TIME

If you hesitate to say NO, then buy some time. If you

cannot say no to the person directly, tell him to give

you some time to think. Get back him later and tell

him politely that you could not accommodate his

request.

Regards,

Deepali

From India, Chandigarh
I am not sure if I completely agree to this. It shouldn't always be about your own self. Denying a relative a loan of Rs. 3 lacs depends on whether that relative needs it for his fathers operation or for renovating his house. It should be very subjective.
From India, Mumbai
Hi Jaspsal, I hope this is very clear for the posting, that these are only examples and moreover it depends upon person to person. Deepali
From India, Chandigarh
Deepali
Good post
But if you every time say no then peoples starts ignoring you, as in this world frendship only occurs to share some of mutual benifits and if we say no always then very difficult to find frends and in case we want some help from others then they also starts saying no.
regards
vivek

From India, Mumbai
Hi Vivek, You can’t always say yes. I you are doing something for someone else which is harmng you. Its better to say no. Deepali
From India, Chandigarh
Hi
I agree to deepali's post....I hate people who say yes always and unable to deliver at the end.Its waist of time and it will end up in long lasting pain.If u deny one thing which is not possible by u,it will help others to go for another option.....if we are able to tell others the reason for saying "NO",I hope it wont hurt others for a long term :)
Thanks
Praveen

From India
Hi!
Deepali, you posted an interesting an thought-provoking piece.
I believe that the "No" depends on you (the person) who has to say "No", the person to whom you're saying "No" and your relationship with him/her (past, present and future) and the situation itself (your own and the other person's). Also your own emotional state (no point feeling guilty or having regrets, whether you say "No" or "Yes)!
I believe there must be a balance between the needs of others and your own. This is delicate, truly subjective and keeps changing. No one thumb rule can apply...
Also while assertiveness is an important life-skill for everyone to master, but just because you can be assertive does not mean that you have to!
Any more thoughts?
Have a great day, everyone!
Best regards,
Suchitra


well...........it depends on an individual’s perception.One has to be wise enough to decide when to say no and when not.
From India, Calcutta
Good One ,,, The Best reply for your Posting is the implementation of the same in a respective person life,,, Dont Worry about the replies here,,,,!!!!!!!!!!!!11
From India, Coimbatore
Thanks Peer Sahib,
I am actaully implementing it in my life. Earlier when i started adopting it. It was not easy.
But now, i never say yes for any work that i can't complete in that given time frame and I easily take a stand.
Deepali

From India, Chandigarh

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