Just.nids
Human Resource- Business Learning
Rajat Joshi
Hr Consulting ,trainer -creative Thinking
RegalEagle
Professional

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Dear all,

have a good laugh and a wonderful weekend..

Cheers,

Rajat

************************************************** ***

Husband is a Software Professional! !

Husband : Good evening dear, I am now logged in.

Wife : Have you brought the ring?

Husband : Bad command or File name.

Wife : But I told in the mornin...... .

Husband : Erroneous Syntax, Abort?

Wife : What about your salary?

Husband : File in use.

Wife : What about my new saree?

Husband : Variable not found.

Wife : At least give me your credit card, I want to do some shopping.

Husband : Sharing Violation, Access Denied.

Wife : Do you love me or do you only like computers or are you just being funny?

Husband : Too many parameters.

Wife : It was a great mistake that I married a stupid guy like you.

Husband : Data type mismatch.

Wife : You are a useless nut.

Husband : It is by default.

Wife : By the way who was in the car this morning ?

Husband : System is unstable. Press CTRL+ALT+ DEL to reboot.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Project Manager



A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I`ll have a C monkey please."

The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That`ll be $5000."

The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. The cost of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"

The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can program in C; very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."

The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage.

"That one`s even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"

"Oh, that one s a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000.

He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the other put together! What on earth does it do?"

The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven`t actually seen it do anything, but it says it`s a Project Manager

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The Missing Link



Having lost his donkey, Yuri got down to his knees and started thanking God.

A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"

Yuri replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I was not riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

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The New Wife



The new wife was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner. As expected she gave a speech:

"My dear family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family", she said "Firstly, my being here does not mean that I would want to change your way of life, your routine. No, I will never do that, never in a million years".

"What do you mean my child?" Asked the father in law.

"What I mean dad is (looking at her father in law):

Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them.

Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.

Those who cooked shouldn't stop at my account, and those who used to Clean should continue cleaning".

"Then what are you here for?" Asked the mother in law.

"As for me, my job is to entertain your son!"

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Only donkey...... .........



A man much harassed by his wife took his four-year-old son to a zoo to escape nagging at home. They came to an enclosure where a donkey was grazing. "Papa, what is this animal?" asked the boy.

"This, son, is an ass."

The next enclosure had a she donkey. "And what is this?" asked the child.

"This, son, is the wife of an ass."

"Papa, do asses also get married?"

"Haan beta," replied his Sire, "Sirf gadhey hee shaddi kartey hain."(only donkey get married)

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Best Patient



Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in, "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."

:l :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Good ones...
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Hi Rajat
Really good One....... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Too Good Keep Posting
Cheers
Nidhi (Hr Executive)

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