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A Manager looking through his Mail Box was astonished to see a mail from an Employee who was supposed to be busy working at Client side on a critical project. It had the subject - "TaTa - Bye Bye". With the worst premonition he opened the mail and read the content with trembling hands:-

Dear Sir,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving the job. The offer was too lucrative and attractive for me to turn down. I had to abscond because I wanted to avoid a scene with the HR and you. I am sorry but I had no choice.

The project is working fine. There are only 108 issues pending, out of which only 38% issues are High Priority. Hence I am sure there is no need to worry about. The next Phase of major enhancements I have been working upon, have been completed halfway. I am sure the new person who would replace me would not understand what all I had done so far. Hence, for his and your convenience, I have taken care to remove all the work that I had been doing this far for nearly 3 months now. I am sure you will appreciate my insight and "big heart".

I am of course retaining the Originals that I had retrieved for the purpose of Passport verification with me, considering it as a parting gift from you. Of course, I will not pay the bond amount that I owe the company (since I Am breaking the bond). But I will consider this as a parting gift from our Dear company. I moving out of town since the new company is situated in another City.

Also, I have changed my contact number. So you will not be able to get in touch with me, to congratulate me. But I know your blessings are always with me. Last but not the least. I also have the Rs 12000 entrusted to me by our company's cultural events group, for the upcoming movie event. I am sure you would have wanted me to keep it with myself as an added bonus from our company. I respect you very much, hence your wish is my command.

Don't worry sir. I am 2 years experienced now, learning so much from your company. So I will surely use this knowledge to write better programs for the new company. Someday I'm sure we will meet sometime in the future. If you wish, I will surely be glad to give my employee reference for you to apply for a job in the new company which I am joining.

Your faithful employee,

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PS". Hands still trembling, the Manager read:

PS: Dearest Manager, none of the above is true. I'm am still busy working at client side. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my "Request to reconsider my Salary Appraisal" attached with this mail. Please approve it and call when it is safe for me to come to our Office to discuss this.

My respect and Best Regards to you!

Do you want to know what the Manager replied? Here it is

Dear faithful employee,

It is good that you have taken matters into your own hands. We felt that if we had initiated this it would be a black mark in your career and considering your 2 years of faithful service to the company we didn't want you to suffer.

Regarding the originals, you have all my blessings along with them as a parting gift. If you check your pay slip, you will find that we had been deducting a sum of Rs 1000 towards "Insurance against Bond Breaking". This should cover the loss to company due to your decision to break the bond and abscond. So you need not have any guilt.

As for the pending work, we already have trained a person at offsite to replace you (it was part of our rotation and ITSC plan) and he is already familiar with the programs that you have created. Moreover, we had taken a daily backup of the programs and so we have the latest programs with us. So no worries on this aspect too.

You may also be very interested to know that I have also resigned and am moving to the same company that you are moving to. I came to know about your move as it was me who took your interview and also selected you to be a part of my team. So you don't have to tell me your new contact number and I will ensure that the Rs 12000 is compensated in ways that will not impact you too much. I'm sure you would want to add value to the new company through your finances and your effort.

I will initiate your exit formalities here. It is good that you will be absconding because the exit formality is much quicker and you can also join the new job much earlier. I verified with the HR and found that you have Rs 20000 as dues to be paid to you because of your non availed leaves. I will arrange to transfer that money to my account as I'm sure you will want to reward me for ensuring an easy, quick and no strings attached exit for you from this company.

All the best in your new job!

Yours sincerely,

Manager.

PS: Dearest Employee, All the above is not true. This is just to show you how much more worse your situation could be. So be happy with the appraisal that was sent to you and enjoy your work!!

With best regards,

MANAGER

Do read this completely & Im sure u would have a gr8 time & a thorough laugh..

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points.

Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:



SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)In the rain (+8)But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

It's her pet (-10)



SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)

Named Rita (-4)

Rita is a dancer (-6)

Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)



HER BIRTHDAY

You forget her birthday (-50000)

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)



A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans(-15)



ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION



She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)



COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned __expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Now what chance do you have???



Pass it on to the poor fellows for info & to the gals for a good laugh...!

;-)

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