Pls Correct This...for Any Grammatical Error...urgent!! - CiteHR
Aguinn
Management Consultant/business Advisor
Roopabnr
Operations Executive(generalist)
Fayeg
Human Resources Officer

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Quantum America, Inc. has achieved its success by providing superior value to its clients, in terms of cost, schedule and quality, and delivered ON TIME, EVERY TIME. Our innovation and dedication is the direct result of our unwavering commitment to our clients, employees and the communities we live and work in.”
Quantum America, Inc. has achieved its success by providing superior value to its clients in terms of its cost, schedule and quality, and prompt delivery. Our innovation and dedication is the direct result of our unwavering commitment to our clients, employees and the communities we live and work in.”
Hi
Just one change needed..
"Quantum America, Inc. has achieved its success by providing superior value to its clients, in terms of cost, schedule, quality, and delivered ON TIME, EVERY TIME. Our innovation and dedication is the direct result of our unwavering commitment to our clients, employees and the communities we live and work in.”
Rest all fine. :)
Regards
Anuradha

Hello Sari:

You've offered a unique post for an HR Board. Nevertheless, let me see if I might be able to help.

Are the words which you initially supplied fixed as to position? You've only asked for grammatical suggestions, and your grammatical usage is fine. If the message to be conveyed is fixed, then please disregard this post. I'm going to suggest you change the voice and create compelling imagery in the mind of the reader.

Here's your original posting:

Quantum America, Inc. has achieved its success by providing superior value to its clients, in terms of cost, schedule and quality, and delivered ON TIME, EVERY TIME. Our innovation and dedication is the direct result of our unwavering commitment to our clients, employees and the communities we live and work in.”

It might be changed to this:

Quantum America, Inc. achieved unparalleled success by creating value for our clients through competitive costs, critical schedule successes, and unmatched quality, service, and attitude. Much of our innovation is driven by our unwavering commitment to each unique client we serve, the stellar employees who work with us, and the stakeholder communities from whom we draw our support.

or, if you want to go 21st Century with an HR spin:

Quantum America builds stakeholder relationships by succeeding daily in one compelling goal: Totally Satisfied Clients. TSC is achieved by unwavering quality, superlative service and positive attitude--driven by stellar employee commitment. QA's commitment to TSC offers our clients a solid bedrock for the creation of innovation within our industry. Become a part of this special stakeholder relationship with Quantum America...today.

Hope that's helpful and generates some discussion.

Alan Guinn, Managing Director

GCG Worldwide

Hi Sari,
1. Never use a comma before “and”
for ex, in you sentence you have used” schedule and quality, and delivered ON TIME, EVERY TIME”
Here you have used a comma before “and Delivered” which is not correct.
2. Also use only one “AND”
for ex: “Quantum America, Inc. has achieved its success by providing superior value to its clients, in terms of cost, schedule and quality, and delivered ON TIME, EVERY TIME”
Instead use this
“Quantum America, Inc. has achieved its success by providing superior value to its clients, in terms of cost, schedule, quality and delivered ON TIME, EVERY TIME”
Regards,
Roopa

Post correction
"Quantum America, Inc. has achieved its success by providing superior value to its clients in terms of cost, schedule, quality, and delivery based on 'ON TIME, EVERY TIME' policy. Our innovation and dedication is the direct result of our unwavering commitment to our clients, employees and the communities we live and work in¡¨.
Correction details:
„X Opened inverted comma before the word Quantum
„X Word ¡¥and¡¦, between schedule and Quality deleted assuming both are two different items and are not related
„X Added the word ¡¥based¡¦ before ¡¥ON TIME¡K¡K¡¦ and added the word ¡¥policy¡¦ after ¡¥EVERY TIME¡K..¡¦
„X Full stop added after inverted comma at the end of the statement
Regards,
Sudhir

Post correction
"Quantum America, Inc. has achieved its success by providing superior value to its clients in terms of cost, schedule, quality, and delivery based on 'ON TIME, EVERY TIME' policy. Our innovation and dedication is the direct result of our unwavering commitment to our clients, employees and the communities we live and work in”.
Correction details:
Opened inverted comma before the word Quantum.
Word ‘And’ between schedule and Quality deleted assuming
that both are non-related items.
Added the word 'based' before 'ON TIME…' and added the
word 'policy' after 'EVERY TIME…..'.
Full stop added after inverted comma at the end of the
statement.
Regards,
Sudhir

Hi, Maybe this sounds appropriate....
Quantum America, Inc. has achieved its success by providing superior value to its clients, in terms of cost, schedule and quality, and by delivering ON TIME, EVERY TIME. Its innovation and dedication are direct results of its unwavering commitment to its clients, employees and the communities we live and work in.”
The corrections are in bold....Regards, Srini

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