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Employees should have faith that if any problem would be there you are with them to solve their issues but on the same hand they also feel that if we remain casual towards displine you are there to watch strictly.
There is nothing harm in mingling but at the same time you need to draw a line of the limit upto what you should be free with them.

From India, Anand
My thoughts...
"taking situation lightly" as mentioned in your note is a BIG concern, considering your role that you have at your current organization.
You'll have to work on that, which is the toughest job for most of us. Saying "No" where it's required is important and also balancing personal & professional relationship. HR is custodian of lot of stuff, you'll have to ensure that all are following these appropriately.
Wish you all the best,

From India, Hyderabad
A HR manager must have multidimensional personlaity, having to tackle the each and every situation. He/She is supposed to play a very vital role in organisation as he/she is supposed to make a link between employees and management. You can not have static personaliy every time, and supposed to behave as per the need of oganisation, by which he will be able to get maximum utilisation of most important resource of any industry i.e. human resource.
From India, New Delhi
Hello Seniors
My manager is Harsh and rude only with male employees at work place.
He usually use his power and authorities in a wrong way.Help me out to deal with his mis-behavior so that my job should be safe and other employees even should not suffer.

From Netherlands
Dear Soofia,
if in similar way other colleagues are of the same opinion about the behavior of your manager then you all can speak and discuss the matter with his seniors. The seniors will consult and counsel your manager.

From India, Mumbai
Hi Soofia, Pl. specifiy few instances, which will help us to understand and share you suggestions. Thx, Pradeep
From India, Hyderabad
It's wonderful discussion we we are holding here. I felt it worth spending time reading the whole.....

Dear Mdaslam49,

I would like to look at this in three different personal approaches (This is absolutely my theory of approach):

1) Authority and responsibility

2)Personality and relationships

3) Psychology and consequences

All the three are very crucially and sensitively interlinked with each other and goes implicitly together. Being an HR Manager, the first approach to this is, Authority and responsibility, the main important reason why you are in the company. Here, holding this status, you are not a natural person but a body established to perform certain prescribed roles. Hence, you are HR Manager in the company, not Mr/Ms XYZ. Hence, you are expected to behave in the capacity of HR Manager - that means since you are not a natural person holding yourself the status and position of HR Manager (established person), you are not supposed to bring in your personal emotions which any day, anyway affect your work styles - like which may include partiality (though not materialistic and may not hinder others, but still...)

likes and dislikes (though not strong enough to make you love or hate, ignore or concentrate on some one...)

anger and exaggeration (which hinder your decision making abilities)

enjoyment and interdependency (affect your quality of work and moods of working)

attachments and detachments (affect your interests, performance and development)

speech (most important, affect confidentiality, matter of empathy, sincerity..) so on and so forth...


Personality and relations, here I completely speak about holding the personal, amicable and societal relationships,


Psychology and consequences, here comes the real problem!! Since, as we all know basic of psychology is same in all of us, but the psychological behavior is different from one to one almost entirely. So, what ever you are and how ever you are, the kind of behavioral impact of yours differ from one to one. Mental process : If I enjoy your behaviour I tend to like it, but my psychology says, why should I like it, I may enjoy it doesn't mean I should like it (ego), if he cracks jokes I laugh, every one laughs so I too do, when every one laughs every day, it has become routine, I no more observe the difference, hence I call it a liberation, (here you lose the grip on employer employee relation), now, being it routine and I have got some personal distraction too, hence I would like to call for a change or being relaxed, (person mixed with employee status), so let me take advantage of our kind HR manager, who is being liberal to us, who may probably understand my situation, and one takes your liberal attitude for granted, so the other starts, one by one, so when your attitude is taken for granted by all...!!, PSYCHOLOGY. Now the consequences, is that you are still a HR Manager, but employee has become no more employee but also a person, since you are responsible for triggering his emotional part of brain to react in a way that it started expecting more than usual and human tendency becoming more and more moody and expecting sensual enjoyments. CONSEQUENCES.

Hence, with the above explanations, it is clear that, First one has to be given the most importance to the core, second the average and third the least.

You are neither the employee's family nor friends to give a vice versa approach to my theory discussed above.

Hence, I would suggest you that you maintain a strict official relationship with the employees. Act like the Authoritative person. And utilize your behavioral gift during leisure, T&D times,and be jovial and build a good bond. In this way, you are triggering both kind of behaviors from the individuals, as employee as well as a person. This makes them feel you are the person who is more amicable, empathetical and understanding, at the same time strict when it comes to responsibilities and works to be done in the way it has to be done.......

When you want to have a discussion always try to keep it personal, between you and the employee, like if you want to warn, or try to improve your employee and figure out his problems affecting the work, never touch any one's emotions in front of others..!! Afterall, we are human, though employees...

Hope, you understand the implied suggestion behind my efforts.......

I also thank you, it's an opportunity to share my approaches...

All the very best

From India, Bangalore
aslam, there are no good or bad things about personality. it is simply a continuum (refer to MBTI) next it is difficult to change if your are currently high on extraversion to being an introvert.
From India, Delhi
He/She should be attentive with the employees and should be able to provide solutions for employee problems.Able to deal and interact with every employee and should cheer the employees with fruitful words
Shravan GLN

From India, Bangalore
Good Question..... even i am feeling the same thing where i am workng currently as HR Generalist.... even i am a very friendly and jolly nature person... but soon after joining i realised, people have started taking me for granted.... so i switched to being firm.
From India, Pune

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