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hi all,
i'm 22 yrs and have newly joined a web developing company as an hr admin. Well i have worked for 4 months before this in a recruiting consultancy also. I have to report to the director of branch(bachelor) being my boss in a small company. Don't know why but i have noticed my boss taking more interest in my life, like; making me sit in front of himself and disscussing irrelevant issues of the time for upto 2 hrs, asking me to drop home, taking me along for any shopping of the firm just to get my opinion and choice and many others alike. i'm already engaged and its not known to him.
What i want to ask is, is there anything to get worried of or not, as i don't want any mess to be created in the office atmosphere for i have to work with them for atleast an year as per my contract.
From India, Chandigarh
Keep distance, discuss only related to job. politely refuse to accompany him outside the office. You have to express your disliking in bold way. otherwise such creatures may advance further taking advantage of your silence.
From India, Lucknow
Dear Sonia
During some discussion, you need to tell your boss about your boy friend. Probably you can ask him what gift you should buy for your boy friend for his birth day. Secondly, start expressing your discomfort to him about sitting and chatting for 2 hours. Please tell this atleast to 2 another collegues in your office as a future precaution. If things doesnt improve, tell your boss specifically about your disliking of such behaviour. With this, situation should be under control but no guarantee. One thing is a must that do not tolerate the non sense but also dont confront unless becomes must.
I am not aware about your contract but no law can force you to work for a specific time with a company. The right to choose the profession of your choice is a fundamental right given by the Indian Constitution and any agreement contradicting it is invalid.
From India, Mumbai
thankyou so much for your suggestions......... even i was thinking of applying such a thing, but then started thinking may be it could be my mis thinking or i'm getting overcautious. wasn't able to decide what to start with.
From India, Chandigarh
Dear Sonia,
Please let your boss know indirectly that you are engaged and getting married soon. You love your bf lot and can do anything for him. Hope all this divert his mind.
when he talk all about shopping , long drive - tell about your bf - Like you only enjoy shopping with yr bf.
how far i think , its the best solution
Regards ,
From United Kingdom, London
thanks rajiv sir for your suggestion, but want to ask one question, how should i start conversating with him about my fiancee, i mean there should be some related issue that we would be discussing already that i'll come to the point of introducing my fiancee.
From India, Chandigarh
when he ask you for going shopping - start , i need to go to movie with my bf.
when he ask about going long drive - tell need to go for shopping with my bf.
whenever he ask you for something different related to job - talk about yr bf.
Ya, how far i concern - make good experience from this company and look for some other firm with good salary.
The negative Impact may arises like - he will scold u for job/ he will give more pressure or tasks.
keep touch with me if you face all this challenges in latter stages. I will try to help you out.
regards ,

From United Kingdom, London
Dear Soina,
I agree with Rajiv.
Almost you try to avoid going out with him, if you went whenever he calls you then it shows you really like his company.
Some situation you can never avoid , at that time ask your hubby to join in your trip.
So that he try to keep distance with you. I hope your Bf know about this.
Don't worry, all these will happen in corporate world.
From India, Madras
Hi Sonia

No need to discuss your personal life in office or with colleagues be it your boss your supervisor. You fiance / BF talks or whatever are personal.

If you share such information with your colleauges, its not advisable, if you happen to strike a healthy friendship at work and then share some relevant or basic information then its ok, but no need to discuss too much details. where you go and things like that,

Also, be bold and straightforward, you are at office to work, work with dedication, you are not at your supervisor's descretion. Maintain highest quality of your work, keep records, at same time, be professionally polite and cooperate for any team work

Refuse with polite "NO" for any personal favours you are not comfortable with.

Maintain your composure and present yourself tough and strighforward, No need to fear anything, know you job, know your work, if you are good you will be required in the company, if your bachelor boss is making you really really uncomfortable and you cannot amend his behavior then request for a transfer or seek another opportunity.
From Kuwait, Salmiya
Also I wanted to tell you, learn to fight this world, dont hide behind excuses such as you are engaged or have a BF, I understand in your case you are engaged, but even if you were not, you dont need this reasons to ward off such pest (bachelor boss) around.
Niether make excuses to escape out of situations when your bachelor boss makes you sit with him for long hours. just be straightforward not to entertain such behavior.
If he is trying to be with you at excuse of office work, refuse once, boldly and politely. Show your disinterest in him and if he is self respected man, he shall not bother you. At same time, maintain your quality of work. Because if his ego is hurt then he will look for mistakes and humiliate you. So this is a tricky situation you are in, deal with smartly and come out victorious. never ever get impolite unless unreasonably harassed.
From Kuwait, Salmiya
Sound advices. Its good to pick-up such signals early and thwart any unwanted forced-proximity tactfully. All the best.
From India, Delhi
good reply by Hussain I appreciate you hussain really if you were not engaged would you have told yes to your beautiful bachelor boss :shock: :shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::shock:
From India, Madras
I fully support Hussain. Please dont hide behind any excuse. You are there in office for professional reasons and nothing can take your focus away.
Please learn to stay firm irrespective of any non-verbal cues. When you have your vision clear, the message of 'not-interested' will percolate.
If your boss doesn't get that, its his fault. Please remember, its not just your boss but everyone in the office who is watching you. Your behavior will earn respect for you, as you grow firm in your intentions.
Nothing shakes you up ! Stay at that.
Wish you all the best !
From India, Mumbai
thanks hussain for ur advice......... i really wanted one like this only........ i want to keep my personal and professional life seperate...... ya my fiancee knows everything regarding this and is really supportive, but at certain times he get worried about me b'coz of such stupid things going on around.......
From India, Chandigarh
Hi Sonia,
Even i have faced the same thing, even my MD used to ask me for the same, i had refused him many times but he didn't improve so lately i had to leave the job.And i got married and shifted to Delhi.
Again again after my marriage that MD had open a branch office in Delhi, So my GM approached me to join it i agreed because that MD used to sit in Mumbai branch.
So before joining the company he came to Delhi and asked me to meet to discuss the salary, i went with my husband that time he didn't discuss, next day again he called me and asked me to come alone to discuss about the salary and would not be comfortable in front of my husband.
Due to this reason i had to leave a very nice company and very cooperative staff and colleagues.
So you cant help it you just need to go a step further. If you are really not comfortable search for new opportunities.
From India, New Delhi
Dear Sonia
i also advice you to follow the advice of Mr. Hussain Zulfikar the Most.
I appreciate the Thinking and decision Level of Hussain Zulfikar
It is enough Mature and Stable decision 4 you , your carrier and your Life.

thanks jyoti mam and mahavir sir, your advices are really making me more srtong to face my situation in the way i want them. please remain in contact so that if ever in future i'll need all your people assistance, you all will be there to guide me....... thankyou all for your advices.
From India, Chandigarh
Hardly any Issue If every thing remain Fine then we will be sure in Touch with CiteHR And Hows Jam mu And Kashmir weather?

well its rainy there for being the time of monsoons.... but i’m working in chandigarh.
From India, Chandigarh
Dear Sonia, till now you got very good advices from senior members. I just want to add one line..... Be Bold-Be Alert-Be Safe
From India, Pune
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