Dinesh Divekar
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Octavious
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Thread Started by #about_to_be_caught

I joined my company about 45 days ago. In the project I've been assigned to, there is one another employee, who is evil. Quite a few incidents happened that demonstrated this:

1. He had been asked to help me with the project workspace setup on my computer. But he kept me waiting when I faced some issues. As in most software companies we used to communicate over instant messenger instead of having to walk to to one another's desk. He did not used to respond properly over the messenger. So I actually walked over to his desk and told about the problem. He listened to it, then continued his work ignoring me. I waited for 10 more minutes standing by him, and he kept ignoring me. Then he looked at his watch and said, 'We have a team meeting now' and walked away to the meeting room.

Then I only got the project workspace setup asking help from the manager.



2. The manager asked him to give me a code walkthrough of the project, and he readily agreed to do so. But he never once called me to do it. Twice when I asked him, he said, 'Yeah, we shall do it soon'. Then another day I once again asked him over messenger and he ignored my message. I thought probably he was busy, and pinged him on messenger the next day, and again he ignored it.

I informed the manager in a passive tense that 'The code walkthrough still hasn't happened'. He said the guy might be busy with some bug fixes. Then I got the code walkthrough only from the manager though he is a much busier man.



3. Last week, the manager asked the guy to explain me some of the features he had been working on, so I can handle any issues that may come up in his absence, as he was going on vacation. I was standing by the evil guy's desk when the manager said this. He said he had some checkins to do and he will explain after that. So I went back to my desk and was waiting for him to call me. I did not bother to ping him or ask him, considering his irresponsible behaviour in the past. He silently left for the day without bothering to explain me a word.



Today I have a one-on-one with my manager's manager. I'm going to complain about the XXXX to him. I'm planning to nicely state, "Some weird things have been happening in the team. Whenever <manager's name> asks <evil guy's name> to help me with some setup or give a code walkthrough, it never happens. I thought I should bring it to your notice". Any thoughts?
19th May 2011 From India, Bangalore
Hello friend,

First and foremost what your colleague is doing is non-cooperation. You cannot call it as "evil". Evil is too stronger word to describe his behaviour.

Secondly, going on leave/vacation without proper handing over is a matter of indiscipline. You bring this point to your manager.

Thirdly, tone down your anger. Keep away your feelings from the actual problem. You are becoming victim of your emotions. I know it is very difficult to do that but then we had to show restraint and maturity as well.

Your feelings have taken over you completely and here in public forum you have used some unparliamentary language as well. Please don't do this. Emotion is always responded with emotion and this is more applicable to negative emotion.

List out the problems that you face and discuss with your manager one by one. Ask his advice on how to work without your colleague's non-cooperation.

Gentleman, because of your colleague's non-cooperation, don't jeopardise your career. You need to exercise discretion and assertiveness at this stage.

Thanks,

Dinesh V Divekar




.
19th May 2011 From India, Bangalore
It is really quite obvious of you to behave like this because from your post it seems you are a fresher joined an organization for the first time.
First of all,just remember you are here to learn therefore you need to have patience as learning is a gradual process that comes with time.
And moreover try to put on the shoe of te evil man may be he is insecure after you joined the organization for his own post.It is a common psychology so you need not worry you just need to talk to your manager in a amicable way that will definitely sort out your problem to a greater extent..
Regards
MK
19th May 2011 From India, Delhi
Yes, I will tell facts only to the manager without showing any emotions or anger.
This guy is behaving this way, even though I had once helped him fix a bug in the code sitting with him for half an hour, for which he had been stuggling sitting on a whole Sunday at office. He has no moral sense.
One more thing, I'm not a fresher, I'm an experienced person, at Project leader level. The coworker is at a lower designation than me, and my time is costlier to the company than his.
19th May 2011 From India, Bangalore
Hi About to be caught,

This is affective communication if you show your name whenever you ask for suggestion from seniors, ok pal.

after taking a glance of your thread, got understand that your communication channel is not affective, see whenever we put our thought, consideration, decision, working talks with some one, we use strong channel for communication so that we may convince people in right direction.

we can't use unparliamentary words, whatever situation arises in-front of us.

Now your case, you have only 45 days experience in this company and you have analyzed that your colleague is not supporting you.

your colleague is trapped with two emotional conditions

1. Job insecurity

2. Personality insecurity

And you also trapped with two emotional behavior

1. Infamous

2. super ego

these above para you have to rectify and no one can help you on this, only guide you.

merely you do one thing , you start written communication with your senior or your colleague you will enjoy the work and performance will definitely increase.

and also follow the suggestion given by Mr. Dinesh and MK
19th May 2011 From India
Dear Caught,
In case if your co-worker is not having moral sense then you must help him make realize the same.And expecting favour in return of a help done by you is just like expecting from the lion to not eat you because you are a vegetarian,just be patient and make note of all the points you need to discuss with your manager.He will certainly understand your point of view and will provide with a solution once he discusses the point with both of you.
And yes do not compare yourself with anybody,always compete with yourself.
Regards
MK
19th May 2011 From India, Delhi
Dear about_to_be_caught
There are certain points which I think you being the Project Leader may think and apply for these types of problems:
1. There is no place for emotion in this service world.
2. Why you should behave in such a indiscipline manner which others wants you to?
3. Alwyas try to apply Emotional Inteligence to handle this type of problems.
4. Instead of being frustrated by others negative behaviour, you may concentrate on your work and let the time and your work speak for yourself.
5. Try not to be reactive in those situations, rather insitigate them to be reactive and watch the HD Film.
6. the above points are very hard to maintain but to remain competetive in this world of dragons we need to follow these for us only.
regards.
Jawed Alam.
19th May 2011 From India, Dhanbad
Distinguished members has submitted their best inputs. Let me say few words in favour of your best future.............
1) AVOID THINKING NEGATIVE OR REACTING AGGRESSIVELY, EVEN IF YOU HAPPEN TO WORK WITH A CO-WORKER OF TYPE DEVILISH NATURE.
2) Most probably, you may be scanned or being examined to study your PATIENCE LEVEL, ATTITUDE, COMMUNICATION SKILLS, TEAM BUILDING SKILLS, COORDINATION SKILLS, EQ and lot more...
3) DON'T EVER LOOSE YOUR PATIENCE LEVELS.
I advice you to REMAIN CALM, do your job IN-TIME and wait for the RIGHT TIME to present whatever you feel like about your CO-WORKER.
With profound regards
19th May 2011 From India, Chennai
Dear Friend,
I just tell u one thing,
to handle these kind of situation always drop a mail to the person first, den wait for his respose. If he didn't just ask again with forwarding that particular mail with cc to the manager...
Regard,
Ravi
19th May 2011 From India, Mumbai
vikash, XXX. You accused me of being egoistic with no evidence at all. I've been dealing with that person with the utmost patience despite his repeated offenses towards a person senior than himself, and when he was explicitly instructed to do the tutorial sessions to me. I helped him, and never spoke or behaved in a harsh way to him. You are just another jealous person like him, so you call the good people as egoistic.
Others, thanks for the replies. I did complain in a factual way to the boss about him being non-cooperative, and he said he will talk to the person about this and get back to me.
20th May 2011 From India, Bangalore
Hi Dear
So sweet :)
I have no idea that my word may hurt you, but, Yes, i said super ego, and go through its meanings, you will find your answer as well as you can solve your problem, got the point.
And also don't jump and assumed other one its better to rectify our self.
Have nice day dude.
20th May 2011 From India
Dear,
I go with an idea of establishing written communication. Once you start doing this and keep your Manager in the loop (by marking a copy), your manager also knows that what is happening around.
At times, the new comer, due to his rich experience, may be perceived as threat to the person who is already working there. Hence he tries to behave in that fashion.
Have patience. Keep your immediate boss informed about what is happening the department. If you are going to compalin to your Manager's Manager, then your immediate boss might feel that you are by passing him, which will add one more person in your list.
Balaji
20th May 2011 From India, Madras
Hi,

As Mr. Ravi said you should always send a mail to that person for asking what you require and send a cc to the manager. If that person doesn't respond within the time frame send another reminder and again cc to the manager.

But remember the language of the mail should not be harsh as it can hurt the ego of that person and he may become defensive as the result he may not respond properly and also keep ur emotion apart while writing the mail.

Same thing when u talk to ur manager ...keep ur emotion apart.

While talking to manager u cn take a Sandwich approach.You should put forward ur concern in such a way that u may nt be considered as complaining person.

So first talk something positive about that person like like he is quite good in software or anything which u think will be appropriate

After that put forward ur concern that u r nt getting the required support from him

Finish the conversation by telling what type of support u require from manager and end it in a positive note.

Thanks & Regards

Meenu Sharma
20th May 2011 From India, Madras
Hi About to be caught.
This is very common scenario in companies. After a few years of experience you tool will become "Evil". You are a fresher, I think you need to read "How to win Office politics" by Gireesh Sharma
20th May 2011 From India, Delhi
Hello
As far as I have been able to understand, I feel that your colleague is more concerned about his security and future prospects and thats the reason he is not helping you, because if he does that and then if you become important he will not be needed in the company, may be this is what he thinks.
Firstly stop sending him message over IM, send him mails, so that you have evidence to back you. Also if you want something first send him mail, then IM and then keep calling him up every 10 or 15 minutes for updates on your request/requirement, this is one of the best way to return the favors
Or you can discuss your concerns with the person, over a cup of coffee and sought it out.
Regards
Octavious
20th May 2011 From India, Mumbai
Dear All,

I was going through all the post and valuable input.

It's human tendency to resist new entrant and physiology of insecurity. It may happen he want to show his importance and create physiology pressure over the opponent from the day one show that he cannot succeed him.

This happen in every organization but degree varies:-

1. Never panic and face situation bravely if you feel for crying, do it at home not at work place.

2. Don't show your emotion or get show that you are frightened.

3. Talk to him politely and not deviate from the topic (professional) and don't react in any matter.

4. Let him to check your break even point. How extreme one could go in non cooperative and humiliation. If no reaction from our side one day he will stop doing.

5. Have patience day will come he will admire you, just wait and watch the game. These conditions will make you rock solid.

It’s my personal experience at my 1st job. Have confidence on you

If you are new in the organization you never expect support from them. Be practical and use your skills and abilities to handle situation as per requirement.

Kindly intimate us the result in the passage of time.
20th May 2011 From India, Bhubaneswar
Vikash, just know that the XXX in my previous post are some bad words that have been censored by the moderator. If you give me your email address I can send them to you in private. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
20th May 2011 From India, Bangalore
Dear "about-....."

I have gone through the thread and your clarifications to others' queries.

I could have expected such things from a fresher, who has no experience of life and work-life; but not from a person with some worthwhile experience.

You seem to be a very sensitive and emotional person .. almost ladylike; (pardon me for saying this, but I am not a male chauvinist; this is just to highlight the 'softer' aspects of human emotion); which i evident from your post and your responses.

As some have rightly pointed out; I shall reiterate and summarize the situation as below:
  • Normally, existing employees feel INSECURE and threatened when a new joinee is assigned to them in a team.
  • This feeling of insecurity gets heightened if the new joinee is more talented/qualified/experienced and/or the employee himself is not so bright.
  • It is too NAIVE to expect that people would help you WILLINGLY from Day-1 just because the boss said so.
  • It takes TIME and some positive actions/gestures to build up RAPPORT and TRUST as a Team.
  • Bad feelings about someone are contagious and the vibes is not lost upon the other person.

What you have done so far is OK as you have honestly and correctly expressed your problems.

However, you need to do more to get willing co-operation from someone who has lesser qualification and experience than you and feels threatened of his own existence in the company.

You can make a start by being LESS JUDGEMENTAL, LESS EMOTIONAL and "accepting" the other person with all his shortcomings.

Please feel free to ask, in case you need any further assistance/clarification on this.

Warm regards.
20th May 2011 From India, Delhi
Interesting post.

ATBC, I agree with you. If 45 days of non-cooperation exist, it is a serious matter for the company. And the company must be concerned with this kind of a situation... All the advise given here is probably ok for the first week, but for 1.5 months, I would say it is certainly a NO NO.

The one point I am not clear is if this person is your reportee. It doesn't appear so from your post. But if he is not, you have little leverage but to wait (the safest way out)...

But on closer introspection, I think you need to build-up some more confidence. Your case is strong. But you need to see if you can 'objectively demonstrate' this situation. As the newbie with your company, you have lesser friends out there. Your boss / manager might be your best friend. I would advise you to try and spend more time with your boss and win his confidence. Understand how he thinks and how the company works. Once you feel that he understands your thought process, you might want to inform him that things are not working well and substantiate (remember, this is the most important thing) it with adequate information. This would be a safe way, but it might take you 2-3 weeks more.

My personal assessment (and I could be grossly grossly grossly grossly wrong here) is that your colleague was probably eye-ing for your job! Your recruitment came as a blow and there is, therefore, non-cooperation. Note that he might not be qualified and he might have a very false perception of his career. But, all said, the fact is that he is still there at that point. Your post doesn't indicate that you are the flashy boss, but that could be another reason where your colleague might be 'hurt' by your 'style of working'. This is less likely to result in an extreme posture though...

As an immediate step, you could talk to your manager with extreme caution and study his response. You can say that management support needs to reinforce the corporate objective and the need to respect the chain of command. See if he supports you in your cause. Tell him that you might want to have a review meeting setup every day for the next three days and every week thereafter. Afterall, its teething trouble for your colleague as well. Depending on his response, you might have indications on which way you have to go...

I used to manage 40 direct reportees in the US and we used to have a brief meeting everyday. So, that evened out any possible 'performance lapses'. Of course, not everyone was comfortable with the reviews each afternoon :-), but that was my policy.
21st May 2011 From United States, Daphne
Dear
If you are senior than the said person(in jobwise), sit with him and discuss the matter politely..........your problem will solve
If u cant do the same.............something error is their in your system
Pls format it and try to use as fresh.........
21st May 2011 From India, Bangalore
Suggest sending a meeting invite with your manager as optional.
Kindly followup with a MOM, stating that additions/modifications need be responded by next day(or which ever timeline you deem appropriate)
Rgds
Siva
21st May 2011 From India, Bangalore
[QUOTE=Dinesh Divekar;1558470]Hello friend,

First and foremost what your colleague is doing is non-cooperation. You cannot call it as "evil". Evil is too stronger word to describe his behaviour.

Secondly, going on leave/vacation without proper handing over is a matter of indiscipline. You bring this point to your manager.

Thirdly, tone down your anger. Keep away your feelings from the actual problem. You are becoming victim of your emotions. I know it is very difficult to do that but then we had to show restraint and maturity as well.

Your feelings have taken over you completely and here in public forum you have used some unparliamentary language as well. Please don't do this. Emotion is always responded with emotion and this is more applicable to negative emotion.

List out the problems that you face and discuss with your manager one by one. Ask his advice on how to work without your colleague's non-cooperation.

Gentleman, because of your colleague's non-cooperation, don't jeopardise your career. You need to exercise discretion and assertiveness at this stage.

Good guidance Mr. Divakar, I appreciate it.

With Regards - anabayan
21st May 2011 From India, Madras
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21st May 2011 From India, Bangalore
The problem with traditional HR is that if a person goes to them with a problem, they divert all attention in trying to make him have the problem (patience, anger, emotions, unable to handle, communicate, etc.)!!! Most of you are trying to 'push' the problem to ATBC, when he might not actually be the cause of the problem... Is this how you resolve your problems??? I am amazed to see the mass replies in that direction.

If my subordinate would send me a meeting invite saying that I am 'optional', I don't think I would ever attend the meeting... I am not sure if you would... :-) And if you have a concrete agenda, you might want to discuss the agenda with me before calling a meeting and including me in the meeting list (and discuss whether I should be optional or not before putting it there)!

If my subordinate has an outburst due to anger, I would try to understand what the matter is rather than get swayed to take the other side just because of my dislike about his temperament...

Anabayan, please read the article in HBR on this topic or non-cooperation and office politics. It gives an excellent set of situations and nails these factors well. And to be honest, such non-cooperative stands could actually jeopardize the career, whether you like it or not... I have seen it in several places and would rather let you read the article to understand the dynamics...

Sending emails and marking copies is great, but I can assure you that I would stop reading such emails because I wouldn't get a hang of the problem and your expecting me to decipher a problem just because I am in CC would be difficult. However, if I were told that there is friction and then see a string of emails, I would work on that proactively...

Just giving the manager's perspective to the loads of advise...
21st May 2011 From United States, Daphne
Hi Raj Kumar
Greetings!
Your style of moderation is very convincing and subtly conveyed. The choice of words used is highly appreciable. Thanks for being with us on Cite HR. Looking forward to many such learnings.
Regards
14th June 2011 From India, Hyderabad
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