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Absolutley Ashlesha....
I 100% agree with you.
Non reaction and silence is the sign of the agreement without saying.
So except raising voice and giving strong reaction has no substitute.
You are on right path Ashlesha......
Khyati Pandya


From India, Ahmadabad
I thank all the people who have posted on my discussion.
Thank You to all those who have agreed to my action. Thank You to all those who have asked me to be cautious as i know it is very important and you all have adviced me with care.

From India, Mumbai
Hi Ashelsha,

I read your scenario and the question raised by you at the end was - As a lady did you do the right thing? Well !!! In my opinion, I feel you didn't. I want to very carefully explain to you why.

First, the guy who passed these remarks was on a table talking to another guy and his conversation was limited to that table itself. Correct, me if I'm wrong. He wasn't speaking loudly. You said you understood him because you could lip read. Therfore, you had no right to stare at him and pass filthy comments. By doing that you just lowered yourself to his level. I would have ignored such a person, and not even tried to make eye contact with him. By doing what you've done, he now knows he's got your attention and has managed to make you stoop down to his level.

Now, if his comments were loud enough for others to hear, you could have then walked up to his table and told him that you were not going to accept these remarks and you would report the same to your HR. i.e. without abusive language but in a stern authoratative voice. What you would have acheived is this - you would have not lowered your diginity and stooped to his level and you would have shown him that you are not afraid to confront such a person like him and have him exposed.

Remember, at the end of the day it's important to maintain your dignity and not come down to the level of people who lack character.


From India, Mumbai

I hope u wud have read my posting. Explaining it in your terms...

First, this is not a workplace incident. so i dnt know where does "table" come into the picture and how did u even think of it.

Second, although i can lip read, it was sufficiently audible for me to have heard him say.

if facing the person means stooping to his level, then i guess i can manage it well.

being a road-side incident, i hope u dnt expect me to say " not going to accept these remarks and reporting the same to your HR ".

ignoring can certainly be done. but anyways, when we do not even notice such incidents or such people passing comments or looks on us, we are anyways ignoring them without us realizing it.

i dnt think we are losing our dignity by being stern. it is time we shud know how to protect ourselves. Ignoring this just means that you are taking it.

but if we know somebody is behaving weird with us right in front of us & looking into our eyes ...... u still expect us to ignore ??

I guess u just read my question, and not the entire posting....

From India, Mumbai
Hello to all,

Sexual Harrassment is taken very seriously by the Government and has enacted the Sexual Harrasment Bill-2005 to curb this manance.

Herewith reproducing the definition of Sexual Harrasment as described in the act :

“Sexual Harassment” includes such unwelcome sexually determined behavior as physical contact and advances, sexually coloured remarks, showing pornography and sexual demand, whether by words or actions. Such conduct can be humiliating and may constitute a health and safety problem; it is discriminatory when the woman has reasonable grounds to believe that her objection would disadvantage her in connection with her employment, including recruitment or promotion, or when it creates a hostile working environment.

Explanation: It is clarified that it is the reasonable perception of the woman that would be relevant in determining whether any conduct was sexually coloured and, if so, whether such conduct was unwelcome or not

For the benefit all I am enclosing the bill in total.

This is my request to all our female colleugues to ensure that this act is implemented in your organisations in letter & spirit.

Please use the provisions of this act to maintain the dignity and safety of women in workplace in pertcular and in the soceity at large.

Thanks to all


From India, Calcutta

Attached Files
File Type: doc Sexual Harrassment.doc (181.0 KB, 246 views)

yes Ashlesha u r right. now a days this guys are too annoying and thier comments are worst... shud not ignore such torture if u are slient one time than they will take advantage may repeat next time.... so dont be slient be confident.....................
From India, Mumbai
I have a query on how I as a guy should have reacted in this situation.
I was walking a friend back home from a movie hall, which was some 5 mins away from her place. It was pretty late at night so very few other people around on the main road. A couple of biked slowed down near us, passed a lewd comment and immediately ran off. I didn't say anything mainly because I didn't want to create a fuss and attract attention to the girl. Security was also on my mind but it is a pretty good locality, security should not be a problem, imo. Should I have reacted differently?

From India, Mumbai
In this situation, i think wat u did was right. Reason - first, it was late night and just 2 of u on the road with not many passer-by. second, they guys who passed comments were on the bike and it was a group, though small.
now, if u were to get aggressive in that situation, it wud have caused probs to the lady. bcz u and them were in the ratio of 1:3 or 4. this is certainly not a situation to call risk for the lady.
wat happened in my case was it was afternoon time in office areas, many people around, one just 1 person. i cud not be affected by that.
its not always that one shud pounce on the filthy people. see the time, see the place, guess the consequences and then act.
in my opinion, u were right

From India, Mumbai
Next time he passes any comments just say very loud". Ap ne much kaha bhayaaa ?". Then see the change. Nothing is lost by giving it a try, isn’t it?
From United Kingdom, London
One of my fellow colleauge has done a misconduct with the volunteer by sending her a whatsapp message late night which were not related to the work.
We want to give him a notice regarding the same,
Any suggestions on the same?

From India, Mumbai

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