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Dear Ashlesha,

Your question is an important point that has to be given a serious thought both from the male and female side. I have gone through the responses and I would like to suggest some points from a more civilised society as below anticipating a more civilised society:

1. As some of my friends have responded, it would not be right at any cost to respond by physical attack for such eve teasings or comments (that too being a girl) in the first instance itself.

2. It is also not right to keep quite ignoring it.

3. Let us not go on saying that ours is a male dominant society. India is a place where ladies are given utmost respect. A quote from our scriptures say "Yatra naaryasthu poojyanthe, tatra ramanthe devathaaha" (sanskrit), which means, where the woman is respected, Gods will live in that place. What an idea and what a civilised thought our ancenstors had !

4. This idea of a matured culture we, the so called civilised people have eroded it !!

5. But we can always bring this culture.

6. In the name of westernisation, we have damaged so much of our culture, dress, living, lifestyle and ultimately blame someone.

7. Such eve teasings by male including women on male (!!) is quite common and is a result of a collective movement and thought.

8. Barring some sect of people, respect to woman in India still exists and that is the hope for a better future.

9. So collectively, we can do a lot to change this

10. Let all good things begin from us !!! Please introspect on this.

With respect to your specific query,

a. In the first instance, do not go for any physical attack or otherwise and not even a complaint.

b. Ignore it and watch.

c. If it repeats, talk straight (may be along with your friend or colleague), what is the reason for such an attitude and ask him to change and learn to respect his colleagues (particularly ladies).

d. If there is no improvement, repeat the advice a bit harshly and advise that you may have to report to your boss.

e. If there is no improvement, repeat the advice through your friend, colleagues and may also report to your manager.

f. At every stage, be careful that you are always on the right track.

g. Never attempt, any physical attack or abuse, as workplace rules cannot tolerate such things.

h. If the situation does not improve, give a complaint to your boss and request to take a disciplinery action.

i. Disciplinery action will include, warning, advisory letters, stern warning, suspension, and if misconduct is proved, it may warrant disciplinery actions.

j. If the situation is worse, it may lead to a police complaint also as sexual harrassment is a violation of acts/rules applicable to women employees

h. If it is a public place, you have to be still careful as one of my friends said, today's society is full of uncivilised people. Only boldness will not help. For anything, you would get affected. Be bold, but also be aware of the present situation and people and let your responses not put you into any problems and as your are girl, you cannot behave like a male and show your strength !!


a. It is quite natural that men get attracted by the dress, the style, etc.etc. of a girl/woman

b. Workplace is not insulated from these and we have enough examples around where an eve teasing gradually turns into love and then marriage !!! God only save us - because we try to give good suggestions (we think so) and the boy and girl ultimately end up with marriage leaving us in dark rooms !!!

c. Be more friendly and informal instead of showing off your styles and dress. This is to protect yourself from the male dominant society (as you say)

d. Try to resolve the issues as far as possible with dialogues and friendly approch and a genuine concern rather than negative approaches, arguments, fightings, etc.

e. Be a matured person and be focussed on the work and your personal life

f. Work place is a place for our earning and living and showing our talents in the work and not otherwise.

Best wishes,



Dear Ashlesha,

Whatever I had shared was based on my own experience. Around a year back myself with my wife and daughter (about 18 years) were just gone for some shopping and stopped at a restaurant. Few young people were sitting in front of the restaurant and one of them commented on my daughter (ofcourse, she was in a decent dress) without even considering that she is with her parents and I could not tolerate the same. However, considering the fact that we are in a public place, I controlled myself but at the same time contacted the SHO of that area who immediately rushed the site and caught hold of the eve teasers. When I enquired later about the youths I was told that those were the hostliers of nearby PG college and it was their hobby to create nuisance in public place. All of them were from rich family but nobody was there to control them. The atmosphere spoiled them and became eve teasers to get purverted pleasure.

I totally disagree with your statement that "cops are another set of shameless creatures....". We can not blame all the fishes in the pond for spoiling the water.



From India, Jaipur
Dear Ashlesha
With the modren gadgets availability, it becomes bit easier to keep record of such activity, if noticed. For example: your mobile phone camera which can take image or record such eve teasing. This can help our administration like police authorities to track and nap down the culprits. One must be cautious while doing so, as such eve teasers, if notice, may try to harm.

From India, Delhi
I think u have done right, As the similar thing has happened to me this morning, when I was returning with my colluege, there was a guy standing at the corner of the road who was not giving space to me and her, he was deliberately doing the act (with the intention to touch the body when we pass). I felt bad and my collougue ingonered him and pass by (with a little touch) and when it was my turn to pass i said "bhaiya zara side dena" and then everybody looked at him (as i was loud enough and giving looks) and he had to give side.... so this kind of garbage mentality these guys have... no idea what to do... because at each place you find a similar circumstace...!!! Even felt more bad when literate prople show such behaviour

From India, Chandigarh
Dear Ashlesha What you did is correct. He got the message. Never ignore such things. If he repeats, mobilise your friends and colleages and put a garland made of "used chappals" on him.
From Bahrain, Manama
Spit on his face. Nothing wrong — — — — — — — — — — — —
From India, Lucknow
Dear Ashlesha,
Please go through the local Labour Laws for Sexual Harassment against Women. You can take action against those people who behave in an indecent manner at work place. Pl. give your email ID. I will forward the Puducherry Labour Laws enacted for protecting the Women against Sexual Harassment at work place for your reference and knowledge.
Best Regards,
Manager IR & Welfare.

From India, Madras
Hi Ashlesha,
First of all thank you so much.. at least you did something.
You know its quite situational and subjective how a lady reacts in such a case.. but its not the fight or battle of only one lady, its good if we all come together and fight together..
I would say.. be it any kind of harassment please DON'T IGNORE.. REACT AT LEAST SOMETHING !
Thank you all

From India, Pune
According to me, you just ignore. Question here is not of being a girl or being a boy. I don't know why you want to dominate the society? Let us dominate our own lives, thoughts, action, mind!!!

And if you want to follow all suggestions given here, you can. When you finished teaching lessons to such guys in your city, let me know. I have also many in my city whom you can teach lessons by sandal etc. I don't think its correct way.

Guess, you know that the person who made comments is mad (pagal). What is your view point now? Simple no? No need to curse all males for dominating society now. Tell me, you are walking on footpath and suddenly you hit your head with a pole. What you do? Curse pole? Beat pole? No. Simple no? You will ignore it. You won't curse anybody but you will be more careful while again passing on that footpath that there is a pole. Few persons in this world are just like a pole. They are always there in our path to collide with us; you can't change them by any means; you have to be careful. Don't stress your mind by taking it by heart, otherwise, you will end up spoiling your day, not his / her.

You may certainly involve your loved ones to solve the issue if it becomes routine. But I am sure, you can't cure poles.

From Germany, Herzogenaurach
Mr. Engineercad, sorry to say but ur thots are just sickening...
By protecting ourself, i dnt think it is called dominating the society. I yes, i will definitely follow suggestions and continue to do wat i do being cautious. and yes, u can definitely send all the guys to my city and i will not teach them with a sandal.. thats an old concept dear. I know to to give them hard a cross a face and i have done dat few times embarrasing them in public and i feel proud and satisfied.
Your pole concept is so so invalid.
Your statement " You may certainly involve your loved ones to solve the issue if it becomes routine " - so shud i wait till it bcums routine ???? and then i go and tell my loved ones that " oh, u see, there is this guy troubling me everyday and blah blah blah........... "
I just hope that this siuation never arises with any lady walking with u bcz u wud be the first one to ignore this more than her....
God bless the lady !!!

From India, Mumbai

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