Rahul_8582
Human Resources

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Love Marriage:

1)Resembles procedural programmingl programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.

2)It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.

3) Family system hangs because hardware (called parents) is not responding.

4)You are the project leader so you are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.

5)Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.

6)Acceptance test possible, you can try before you Buy.

7)Love Marriage is like Windows, beautiful & seductive.... Yet one never knows when it will crash....

Arrange Marriage:

1)Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or

deleted.

2)Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible

3)Compatible with hardware (Parents).

4)You are a team member under project leader (parents) so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life

5)All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.

6)Product is sold on an as is where is basis.Product once sold will not be taken back!

7)Arranged Marriage is like Unix... boring & colourless... still extremely reliable & robust.

Cheers,

Rahul S :D

REJECTED STATE MOTTOS

ALABAMA: Literacy ain't everything

Ya want fries with dat?

ALASKA: Come, freeze your butt off

ARIZONA: Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds

ARKANSAS: At least we're not Mississippi

CALIFORNIA: The Granola State

Nobody's actually from here

Fast reloading lanes available

The really long state

COLORADO: Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here

Official home of the winter ski bunny

CONNECTICUT: Way too close to New York

DELAWARE: You'll need a map to find us

So close to Washington you can smell it

FLORIDA: The Gunshine State

Elephant Graveyard; where the old Republicans

go to die

Senior citizen discounts available

Come, enjoy the humidity

The snow capital of the US

GEORGIA: Home of the Rednecks

Gateway to Florida

Confederate money welcome

HAWAII: Sure, we've got Interstates... drive on over

Book 'em Danno

Tom Selik, Jack Lord, Don Ho - Paradise!

Come, get lai-ed

IDAHO: Ain't nothing here

We don't care if you spell potato with an "e"

Land of a billion "eyes"

ILLINOIS: Land of the voting dead

Gateway to Iowa

INDIANA: Home of David Letterman

IOWA: Just east of Omaha

It's easy to spell

KANSAS: Hayfever capital of the Midwest

Dole slept here

There's no place like home

Ya want flat, we got flat

KENTUCKY: Tobacco is a vegetable

We're all related

Gateway to Nashville

LOUISIANA: Swim the beautiful Bayou

Cancer Alley's just a name, and names will

never hurt you

MAINE: For Sale

You can spit on Canada from here

MARYLAND: If it weren't for Washington, you couldn't find us

MASSACHUSETTS: Home of the young girls from Nantucket,

also the home of Ted Kennedy, hmmmm...

MICHIGAN: Land of the free, home of the Buick

MINNESOTA: Not Sweden, but we try to act like it

Sure beats Canada

MISSISSIPPI: We're lucky we can spell it

Why would you want to come here?

MISSOURI: Gateway to Kansas

Here's mine, Show Me yours

We're better than Illinois

MONTANA: Land of the Big Sky, and very little else

We've got lots of 10'x10' shacks in the woods

It's where you're wanted.

At least our cows are sane.

NEBRASKA: More corn than Kansas

Go to Kansas, turn north

NEVADA: More weirdos than Alaska (warmer too)

2 words - Death Valley

3:5 you'll leave broke

We have our own nuclear testing site

NEW HAMPSHIRE: Like Old Hampshire, only newer

About as exciting as Vermont

NEW JERSEY: You have the right to remain silent,

You have the right to an attorney...

Tell 'em Guido sent ya

NEW MEXICO: Lizards make excellent pets

We have reservations

Alien Welcome Center - Roswell

NEW YORK: At least we're not New Jersey!

We're more than a big city; we're a state

Like we CARE about a motto

English spoken here; sometimes

NORTH CAROLINA: Five million people; Fifteen last names

We're bigger than South Carolina

NORTH DAKOTA: The OTHER South Dakota

OHIO: Don't judge us by Cleveland

Proud polluters of Lake Erie

We're easy to spell

OKLAHOMA: We're OK, you're NOT!

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto

OREGON: As pretty as California but not as weird

We're not named after a musical instrument

You can see the sunset from here

PENNSYLVANIA: Cook with coal

Free lub job with oil change

RHODE ISLAND: Size ain't everything

Nobody famous came from Rhode Island

SOUTH CAROLINA: Just south of North Carolina

SOUTH DAKOTA: Closer than North Dakota

TENNESSEE: The Educashun State

Thank goodness we've still got Elvis

A great fixer-upper

TEXAS: Si Hablo Ingles

See, EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!

UTAH: Our Jesus is better than your Jesus

At least our sheep can't talk

VERMONT: Bet ya can't name 2 of our towns

VIRGINIA: Please don't confuse us with West Virginia!

WASHINGTON: We like our state, so STAY OUT!

WEST VIRGINIA: Where "family values" has a different meaning

WISCONSIN: Land of funny accents.

Say "Cheeeese"

WYOMING: Where men are lonely and sheep are scared

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