‘
Human life has lot of complicated ranges and patterns in which a man tries to find his forte. Happy and sad, rich and poor, smart and clumsy, clever and dull, promise and fulfillment, success and failure are some of the common ranges which affect our daily lives. One of the most significant ranges is the range between the ‘why me and why not me’, when he tries to understand this complicated and often talked about range, he finds himself a little baffled.
The people in the why me range easily outnumber the why not me type and this is really a problem. ‘Why me’ people have a perennial unhappy atmosphere around them. “Why me of all the people?” the question flashes in our minds whenever we feel that we are at the receiving end of the unfair treatment meted out by the world. The intensity of the question and the responses to the same may vary with respect to our age. The younger we are, we tend to react even overreact, but as we think we grow older, we respond rather than react. The reason being that we begin to understand, that even though apparently we may not be at fault, bad things can still happen to any of us.
From the moment one goes in the “Why me” mode, he opens doors to misery, compounding the already complex problem. The human mind is a fantastic library which has ready references for each of our negative and positive thoughts. It tends to give us supporting information for our thought process. Mind you that it does not decide the veracity of thought process. The best way to overcome such a state is to regroup, reassess and most importantly to start afresh. Those who do not do so, become confused and more likely de-motivated. As a result they try to find a person they feel is better equipped to provide solutions. Again whether the person is really worthwhile is a matter of chance. Very rarely what he tells differs from what our parents have already told us. The ‘why me’ usually deactivates, the last remains of the will to do some thing. In a moment of weakness one approaches some one who tells him that the present bad phase is due to the cosmic and star signs disturbances in his horoscope. The next stage is of self pity which to my mind is the lowest stage of human existence, and very few overcome this. Such persons simply forget the logic of numbers and the earlier instances where they were slightly lucky.
The other side, where people are competing saying ‘why not me’, they volunteer, are ready to compete, not afraid of trying things others would not even think of, they are ready to fail while they try, they even fail and yet they are happy. They are ready to do the same exercise all over again till they succeed. During this time they do not have time to be unhappy, morose. The solders on the front cannot think in terms of why me or why not me when they attack the enemy. They are focused and they achieve much more than an ordinary human being can even think of.
When a calamity strikes most people just go in to why me mode. They try to find reasons for being subjected to some thing uncommon, unthinkable. Very often they find people who are seemingly worse and yet not suffering. This becomes inexplicable and adds to the already miserable condition of the concerned person. Some times a person who is a regular as far as exercise, diet, habits, life style and composed nature concerned gets a stroke. While lying in ICCU he has two choices of why me or why not me. In the first case he goes in the blame all stint but in why not me mode he would start to adjust with changed matrix of his life. ‘Why not me’ people are may be better prepared for any eventuality, much better than their counterparts. Some one very rightly has said ‘Good things come to those who wait, better things come to those who try and best things come to those who believe.’ The faith or lack of it is the main reason for the state of mind even in the weirdest situations. One who has faith and ready to wait and at the same time keeps doing his regular chores is most likely to succeed.
What you have is reality, what you want is the desire and what you can do is your destiny so next time when you suffer a setback find out what best choices you have and do your best and get out with a spring in your step.
The author is a Dean (Training & Placements), at LTJSS Group Nagpur
Rajendra Chandorkar
“Aabha” 53, Vasant Nagar
Nagpur: 440022
Tel: 9423102543
E-mail:
From India, Nagpur
2Why me’ to ‘why not me’
Human life has lot of complicated ranges and patterns in which a man tries to find his forte. Happy and sad, rich and poor, smart and clumsy, clever and dull, promise and fulfillment, success and failure are some of the common ranges which affect our daily lives. One of the most significant ranges is the range between the ‘why me and why not me’, when he tries to understand this complicated and often talked about range, he finds himself a little baffled.
The people in the why me range easily outnumber the why not me type and this is really a problem. ‘Why me’ people have a perennial unhappy atmosphere around them. “Why me of all the people?” the question flashes in our minds whenever we feel that we are at the receiving end of the unfair treatment meted out by the world. The intensity of the question and the responses to the same may vary with respect to our age. The younger we are, we tend to react even overreact, but as we think we grow older, we respond rather than react. The reason being that we begin to understand, that even though apparently we may not be at fault, bad things can still happen to any of us.
From the moment one goes in the “Why me” mode, he opens doors to misery, compounding the already complex problem. The human mind is a fantastic library which has ready references for each of our negative and positive thoughts. It tends to give us supporting information for our thought process. Mind you that it does not decide the veracity of thought process. The best way to overcome such a state is to regroup, reassess and most importantly to start afresh. Those who do not do so, become confused and more likely de-motivated. As a result they try to find a person they feel is better equipped to provide solutions. Again whether the person is really worthwhile is a matter of chance. Very rarely what he tells differs from what our parents have already told us. The ‘why me’ usually deactivates, the last remains of the will to do some thing. In a moment of weakness one approaches some one who tells him that the present bad phase is due to the cosmic and star signs disturbances in his horoscope. The next stage is of self pity which to my mind is the lowest stage of human existence, and very few overcome this. Such persons simply forget the logic of numbers and the earlier instances where they were slightly lucky.
The other side, where people are competing saying ‘why not me’, they volunteer, are ready to compete, not afraid of trying things others would not even think of, they are ready to fail while they try, they even fail and yet they are happy. They are ready to do the same exercise all over again till they succeed. During this time they do not have time to be unhappy, morose. The solders on the front cannot think in terms of why me or why not me when they attack the enemy. They are focused and they achieve much more than an ordinary human being can even think of.
When a calamity strikes most people just go in to why me mode. They try to find reasons for being subjected to some thing uncommon, unthinkable. Very often they find people who are seemingly worse and yet not suffering. This becomes inexplicable and adds to the already miserable condition of the concerned person. Some times a person who is a regular as far as exercise, diet, habits, life style and composed nature concerned gets a stroke. While lying in ICCU he has two choices of why me or why not me. In the first case he goes in the blame all stint but in why not me mode he would start to adjust with changed matrix of his life. ‘Why not me’ people are may be better prepared for any eventuality, much better than their counterparts. Some one very rightly has said ‘Good things come to those who wait, better things come to those who try and best things come to those who believe.’ The faith or lack of it is the main reason for the state of mind even in the weirdest situations. One who has faith and ready to wait and at the same time keeps doing his regular chores is most likely to succeed.
What you have is reality, what you want is the desire and what you can do is your destiny so next time when you suffer a setback find out what best choices you have and do your best and get out with a spring in your step.
The author is a Dean (Training & Placements), at LTJSS Group Nagpur
Rajendra Chandorkar
“Aabha” 53, Vasant Nagar
Nagpur: 440022
Tel: 9423102543
E-mail:
From India, Nagpur
Mr.Rajendra Chandorkar, Your article was very stimulating to say the least. Thanks. I will be sharing it with my colleagues. regards, rajendra patwardhan
From India, Mumbai
From India, Mumbai
dear all it is very gratifying to know that you like what i write. pl keep in touch rgds chandorkar
From India, Nagpur
From India, Nagpur
No doubt that I have attended seminar where you explain this topic to us, But to personally read this post an year after it is Published is a great honor.
Thank you for giving us a hope for a better future
Yours sincerely
Tapish M Dongre
B.tech Biotech
PIET Nagpur
From India, Bangalore
Thank you for giving us a hope for a better future
Yours sincerely
Tapish M Dongre
B.tech Biotech
PIET Nagpur
From India, Bangalore
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