Good Morning to all Members..

Kindly help me out...

I had left my previous firm do you non-ethical and non-co-operative nature of my previous boss. But he use to help me as and when I required leave during my exam, i.e. he used to adjust it. Then I resigned when he started to play with me, that is he initially transferred me to Accounts Department then he reduced my salary, etc. Due to frustration, I left the job and joined other firm. During my F n F settlement, he promised me to give my Bonus amount in Diwali, which he had not given ...and told that "you were in HR and you dont know the rules, and i wont pay your Bonus and he spoke in a very rude manner".. Due to my nature, I had not reacted..

But now he is calling me again and asking for help in his work...I keep the phone in Silent mode, but then he sends me mail, asking for help.

Seniors, please help how to avoid him... I dont want to talk to him, but I cannot be rude to anyone. Please suggest how to say him NO, and stops calls-mails from his side.

From India, Mumbai
Thanks TMI He has assistant, but not efficient and wants me to come there and work for him... for 1-2 hours. Although his assistant has done the work.
From India, Mumbai
IT Management

A few suggestions for you to use them as you see fit.

1. Never bad-mouth your previous boss - no matter how bad he/she really was. There are always ways to say that politely - "He/She is an excellent manager, I learnt many things from him/her. However, there were certain areas we disagreed on, due to which we had to part ways amicably. I still look up to him/her as a leader and mentor is many areas." etc.etc.
2. If you think you cannot be rude to anyone, think again. Are you sure you are not being rude to this manager who is calling you (and you are not taking his calls, or returning his calls), and sending you emails (and you are not responding)? In many professional circles, that is considered incridibally rude. Being verbally rude is unprofessional and childish. However, in professional world, not returning someone's calls or emails in a timely manner is very rude.
3. I am not sure if you have ever actually spoken to him and expressed your inability to go work for him. Have you done that? If you have, think about how that conversation went. Have you been absolutely clear with him that you don't want to work for him? Or have you made excuses for not working for him and left a door open (saying, I would have done it if I had time, but I don't have it right now). If the case is later (left a door open), then that could be a reason why he is calling you (to check and see if you now have time and can come work for him).

So, bottom line, here is what I would do if I were you. Next time he calls, I take that call and have a very polite, respectful, but candid conversation with him. Let him know categorically that you cannot and will not go and work for him for the reasons you had mentioned. At the same time, make sure he understands that you respect him as a person and are thankful for the help he has given you. However, some of his actions go directly opposite to your principles and hence you cannot work for him.

Please do not, do not, make any personal attacks on him. "I disagree with your actions, not you", or "Your actions caused me concern. You are a great person to be around and learn from. I highly appreciate and am thankful for all the help you have given me. However, I disagree with some of your actions and therefore, I cannot work for you. I value you as a person and would like to talk to you and seek guidance in the future as well. However, I request that we not talk about working for you again". Something in these lines would be helpful and accomplish two things – 1. Communicate a clear message without being personal/insulting/rude; 2. Does not burn bridges

Hope this helps.

All the best!
--Som G

From United States, Woodinville
Thanks for your Suggestions - Som Sir, Ravi Sir.
I would like to clarify that:-
1. I always pick the call, and answer him politely. But I dont want to be take it as granted. Like the HR Manager is. When he wanted he kept in HR dept, and when he dont wants me he sends me to other dept..reducing my salary. Although he knows that I am very Hard Working and not hardly working.
2 I had requested him also, that I dont want to go in any other dept. But then also, he sent me there. Only reason being that he likes girls to be his assistant.
3 When I was in other Dept, he asked me to take the training to all staff on MS Office. And now also, when he wants to work in Excel Sheets, he calls me to help him. And once I had helped him, as he was my previous Boss.
4 I dont have any respect for such Boss...who takes help from Ex-staff, after insulting him and not keeping his promises.

From India, Mumbai
prix Communications, Language, Designing, Event Management....
Hi Krishna,
I would say SomaGollKota has a very Good point. I agree with him fully.... Go for it...
@SomaGollKota: Your suggestion is good and very practical.... +1 for that. I totaly agree on teh whoel thing..

From India, Delhi
The ball is in your court now so dear play with it smartly. There is no harm in asking him your dues, no body does job for charity , correct me if I am wrong. So ask him to pay you your due amt. of bonus as well as the amt. of salary as per your earlier CTC.
Good Luck!

From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
muralikrish Executive-HR
Hi All,
Out of all the points you have to understand one golden corporate rule : Boss is always right" I was exactly in the situation where u r in.I was one step more treated badly that i was terminated from the office.
I had a spot award last month and this month i got terminated.So my conclusion is adjust with you boss unless you can stand on your own or u get a way out(opening).
Then u can give him back in the same coin or ignore him.
So please act very slowly and intelligently.The reason he has nothing to loose you r loosing the battle badly.
Let me know if you need any help

Thanks for the suggestion
But in my case I have resigned the job...
and after resigning also Ex-BOSS is giving calls and asking for help......
Once he had asked me to buy something for his wife..... which is not correct......and I have not done that

From India, Mumbai
Hi Krishna !
I would suggest the following:
1. Tell your ex boss that you will come to help him when he clears all your dues
2. After he does that (if he does), you can visit him once and make him understand once and for all that you cannot do this any further as your present job is very demanding and you don't have enough time left after office
3.Stop attending his calls after that

From India, Pune
IT Management

Not just HR Assistants, but no employee must suffer harassments from their managers. I am not sure of the legal protection against general harassment in India (I know there are labor laws against sexual harassments, but not sure of general harassments), but there are strict laws against any kind of harassment in the US. Nonetheless, harassments do occur of any nature in any legal system (US or India or any other country). While it cannot be 100% prevented, it is up to the individual who is being harassed to decide how (s)he wants to react to it.

Two things here -
1. You can clearly articulate your thoughts, concerns, intentions and future course of action to your ex-manager and request him respectfully/politely, but firmly, to stop trying to engage you - make it clear that you are not in a position to (or inclined or obligated to) respond to him
2. If it doesn't stop, a simple way is to either change your phone number (probably not very practical because there may be a lot of important people who may already have your number and changing your number can be a hassle), or selectively block his number.

At the same time, make no mistake - if you lay back and take the harassment without complaint and silently suffer, you are just as guilty in the harassment situation as the person who is harassing you.

Here is an absolutely last resort option. If every civilized and polite attempt fails, then you can take the extreme step of lodging a complaint in the labor forum (is there one such in India?) or the police, to obtain a restraining order. I am hoping it won't get to that - because it might result in a personal backlash to your career (depending on how well-connected in the industry this person is).

Any step you take, make sure you protect yourself and also not beaten down.

Hoping the best for you,
-Som G

From United States, Woodinville

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