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Hi friends
Does Age Play Important Role in Marriage or Not????
if the boy is elder than girl then the society doesnt say anything....
but the girl is elder than boys then some people says it is not good for relationship.
Why So....
Waiting for ur reply....

From India, Amritsar
According to me it’s just a society norm that guy should be elder than the girl. If a couple is fine with it then the others shouldn’t have a problem.
From India, Mumbai
above is right ........... why don’t you see the relation of Sachin & Anjali Tendulkar, Abhishek & Aish.. they are the best couple.......
From India, Pune
hi deepika,
it's a question of maturity (I know girls will jump and say guys don't mature at all). again it's a question of individual choice. I know of a couple of acquaintances of mine - the guy is younger than the girl. they understand each other and the marriages are going on well.
on a different note - Socrates, (Tendulkar) and Shakespeare's wives were older than them. so if you want to be great or successful, the short cut is marry older women (I mean wife should be older than you)
From India, Madras
If the parents have a problem then the couple should try their level best to convince them about their compatibility and also assure that the age difference would not bring problems in their married life.
If still the parents don't agree then couple needs to prioritise either their own happiness by being with each other or their parents happiness by breaking off mutually.
From India, Mumbai
Hey Guy must be elder than a girl to get married !! A girl must not be elder than husband reasons are as under :

A women's maturity level is higher than a Man

A Man should marry a women who is 3 to 5 years younger to him

As women is more matured , if he marry a women elder to him , she will be an demanding wife and there will be lot of relation ship issues.

A Girl should be married with in 25 of age. Other wise she can not adjust with new family as she will be highly matured she will have her way of thinking and she strongly stick to that.

If man marry a younger women , still she is 5 times matured than him. then think if he marries and elder women ?? how will they balance in ego states...... every human has ego in him /her . We can say in words that love has no ego.. but its very wrong statement

A Man must not marry to too young girl too... that will again be a problem. because every wife must consider her husband as her first child because he is childish wat ever his age is . ( Its my opinion not hurting any one ). If the girl is too young then she can not tackle the childish husband. it wil take long time to adjust.

I Hope i covered the query. Iam sorry if i hurt any one.. this is my opinion so just shared
From India, Madras
Hi Depeeka, well, according to my point of view that no age bar in marriege, but acooring to the physicians its bad impact on sexual relation. Thanks Tanveer
From Saudi Arabia, Riyadh
Thanx all for valuable replies...
I think in arrange marriages the girls are always younger in our Indian families due to the patriarchal nature of our families. Parents believe the girl should get molded in boys family lifestyle and all such traditional old stuff, which is not completely crap for at the end of the day in an Indian family its girl who has lot more to sacrifice and lose in a marriage.
Though when love takes over age or any other criteria takes back seat.
From India, Amritsar
Yes Deepika.. wat ever age a women marries , she is the one who sacrifices her likes and dislikes and undergo pain and loss. Its a women who will suffer . But she need an identity so she gets married. !!! Not every women is loved for whole life. world is materialistic.
They create a lot of wife jokes , but actually it must be vice versa. women sacrifice her sir name , leave her family and come. what do men scarifice ?? she would hav not cooked for her own parents but must cook for new family who came in her life just in middle of her life.... no sleep , no smile... no rest .... how long women can struggle ? on top of it wife jokes get posted in name of humour.. who ever post it , in next birth they will be born as women...... and then they will know the value and meaning of suffering
From India, Madras
Abhiiii how long will he accept chocolates ???? don u think his demand will change ?? he he he
From India, Madras
but i read.. there are somebody marrying like the guy is 18 and the girl 25 also.. the reason what they are telling is in older ages the guy can take care of the girl... just for sharing..
From United Kingdom
Karthi.. If guy is 18 and girl is 25 then its 5 years difference.. in some point of time she will not respect him..... as he is younger to her. The main reason why husband should be elder is he deserve respect from his wife. Our Indian culture has a habbit of wiife falling in feet of husband on occational days. If we fall on feet of younger person their life span will decrease.... Iam just sharing my knowledge not to hurt Karthi

From India, Madras
Well.. I've heard that if bride is older than groom, it brings luck to groom, as in the case of Sachin Tendulkar, Sunil Dutt, Saif Ali Khan, Demi Moore (dont know her hubby name, but he is lucky)etc...
So far as traditional concept of respecting the husband is concerned.. it is changing as women has gained financial independence, economic independence and hence gained lots of respect in society now a days...
From India, Vadodara
Kuljith ji.. wat ever women has financial indepence and gained social respect , she has to be traditional and respect husband and his family. That is Indian culture..... A TRUE INDIAN WOMEN MUST NOT BE PROUD OF ECONOMIC INDEPENDENCE !! MUST FOLLOW EACH AND EVERY CULTURE THAT WAS DESIGNED . Then what will she teach her children ??? no point of being in modern world. when we hav beautifull customs to be followed :icon1:

From India, Madras
A Good reply Runal .. Blaming the whole of Mankind on few examples or vice-versa is something I do not agree! All depends on understanding and Love between the couple!!
From India, Madras
Dear Deepika
It is nothing but, depnds upon mensuration cycle, the women's mensure cycle closes near by 40 or 40+, there after, their sexual limit is lesser comparing to men, that is why our ancestors thinks about age difference of 5 to 10 years. Man can impregnate a woman around 60 years too...
but after completion of mensuration cycle, the women cannot do so.
That is why the difference, it is scientifically proven. It is nothing about any male shavanism or any thing it is purely science. Actually both of them are equal on all aspects, but this is the reality, why there is age difference between Women and a Men. I am sorry, If I get into the deep, but this is the real answer.

Its true tht whn you choose a younger men our society which is sadly not forthcoming in accepting circumstance as such as this one will keep on harassing you tht its unconvetional which can result in divorce or bigamy........nevertheless if ur bonding is strong & u r comfortable wid such relationship thn one can go for it......................

From India, Amritsar
Yes, age surely plays a vital role in marriage. Have you ever heard of Organization structure in an IT company. Even our country has hierarchal structure such as president, Prime minister, Governor, Chief Minister etc. Like wise, every family should have a unique planned structure and thats how this rule came into light that husband should be older than wife and the reasons are as follows :
  • In olden days only guys were educated and hence they became the souce of earning. Women were busy in household works. So according to them the one who earns and runs the family becomes the head of the family and If he is elder, usually younger members like wife and children in the family values his words.
  • In most cases it is observed that women mature & age faster/earlier than man. In many same-age marriage couples the women look older. So thats why they needed age gap.
  • When it comes to love and understanding yes age doesnt matter but when it comes to responsibilities and maturity level surely there will be a clash if women is elder than men.
  • Guys are usually domiantive and cannot tolerate if his wife is a step ahead than him, earning more than him, dominative, if she heads the family and so on........Its again an ego factor for which even the guys cannot be blamed.
  • It even has an impact on the kids too.
Its like a custom that has been followed for years together. This generation people may not take this as a big concern as they talk only about love and understanding but no one can gaurentee for how long will it sustain. I personally feel that always there should be someone called as head of the family for a happy and healthy family.
From India, Madras
Arre yaar lets just leave it upto the couple whether they find it ok with age difference or not.................
From India, Mumbai
Hi Deepika,

My view......

Anything new/different taking place in society is first looked down upon, resented, then reluctantly accepted and gradually it becomes a comfortable fact and nobody opposes it anymore.... --- its 'mental evolution'

At First, people married w/o even knowing their spouses....... then that changed

First, widow remarriges were a taboo.... now they are looked upon with respect

First, love marriages were a no no..... now almost everyone does love marraiges

First, inter-caste marriages were no no.... now they are common

Talking about the recent past, gay marriages were out of question!.......but now, people are opening up to it too and how !

Now, think of what a mere age factor is ? The ones who oppose today, will forget all about it tomorrow, when some new change happens so that they can oppose that!

Who decides the rules? Its us!

P.S. - For a person, if his/her spouse is understanding, hes attained ultimate bliss, if not, then ultimate doom :) irrespective of who is older !
From India, Mumbai
When it comes to love, age is nothing but a number. For instance, count on any of these celebrities, Tom cruise and Katie Holmes, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, Salman Rushdie and.... the count is endless. Age difference between the couple is not a big deal for many. Read to answer the questions like Is it safe to have vast age differences in marriage? Will the marriage survive? Will there be fire in love?

Here are two main aspects that will help us to get the clear picture

Sex drive
The first few days of marriage will be as decorative as a beautiful paradise as the couple have joined together with great understanding and attraction. However as the days roll to months and months to years, the older one will feel insecure. The greatest fear in this marriage is infidelity. At some point, there is likely to have a disparity in the sex drives of the couple involved. This disparity could be a contributing factor to infidelity if it drives one of the couple to seek sexual fulfillment outside. The intimacy may reduce to such an extent that one of the couple will not like to be seen with the other.

With the growing age, the younger one will notice the graying hair, the hanging skin the tarnished teeth with more specification than ever before. If the marriage is arranged by the will of parents and not the couple then the marriage may last long due to fear of norms in the family but it will never have the passion called love.

Age gap is sure to enforce differences in understanding and opinions, which may lead them to different paths altogether. Lifestyle differences, differences in moral values, even differences in seemingly minor things such as tastes in music, reading, or entertainment may eventually cause the couple to be unable to relate to each other. For the older, life may seem an end and accomplished journey where the younger may still want to explore all that he/she can. The older person may be looking merely for a companion rather than a partner and younger may be looking for a whole new life again.

If one of the couple begins to seek out members of his or her peer group because they have more things in common with each other, it can lead to serious problems, especially if that person is from the opposite sex.

To end with, marriage is a personal affair, if you can make it a blissful journey nothing can be a barrier.
From India, Amritsar
Well said Shikha...
For a person, if his/her spouse is understanding, hes attained ultimate bliss, if not, then ultimate doom irrespective of who is older !
Well said Deepika....
marriage is a personal affair, if you can make it a blissful journey nothing can be a barrier.
From India, Vadodara
My pleasure in reading it.. Just like a reflection of my thoughts .. If U had delayed a bit in replying .. I would have posted almost the same.. :icon1::icon1::icon1:
Got stuck up with work!!
From India, Madras
You are right Shikha...........Yeh to shaadi ke pehle ka drama hai..........Real picture begins after marraige irrespective of guy is elder or girl is elder.
From India, Mumbai
Its is said that marriages are held in heavens ,then why to bother who is older and who is younger.
In India a male dominant country we say that women should be younger so that she can serve or take care of her husband for a long time or till he lives.
The male dominant society for its benefit have created this culture otherwise age doesnt play a important role in marriage.
From India, Nanded
I make suggestion to Javed akhtar for One song need to write in his next bollywood movies.. SOme like...
Mein kya karo ram mujhe budhiya mil gayee.........
Bura na mano to ye age diff hain kitna....aur agr koi aur choice nahin.. to go for it.
From Singapore
Deepika i don't think so that age play important role in marriage........its a mutual understanding btw boy and girl......

m telling u the true story

An incredible love story has come out of China recently and managed to touch the world.
It is a story of a man and an older woman who ran off to live and love each other in peace for over half a century.
The 70-year-old Chinese man who hand-carved over 6,000 stairs up a mountain for his 80-year-old wife has passed away in the cave which has been the couple's home for the last 50 years.

Over 50 years ago, Liu Guojiang a 19 year-old boy, fell in love with a 29 year-old widowed mother named Xu Chaoqin..

In a twist worthy of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, friends and relatives criticized the relationship because of the age difference and the fact that Xu already had children.
At that time, it was unacceptable and immoral for a young man to love an older woman.. To avoid the market gossip and the scorn of their communities, the couple decided to elope and lived in a cave in Jiangjin County in Southern ChongQing Municipality
In the beginning, life was harsh as they had nothing, no electricity or even food. They had to eat grass and roots they found in the mountain, and Liu made a kerosene lamp that they used to light up their lives.

Xu felt that she had tied Liu down and repeatedly asked him, 'Are you regretful? Liu always replied, 'As long as we are industrious, life will improve.'

In the second year of living in the mountain, Liu began and continued for over 50 years, to hand-carve the steps so that his wife could get down the mountain easily.

Half a century later in 2001, a group of adventurers were exploring the forest and were surprised to find the elderly couple and the over 6,000 hand-carved steps. Liu MingSheng, one of their seven children said, 'My parents loved each other so much, they have lived in seclusion for over 50 years and never been apart a single day. He hand carved more than 6,000 steps over the years for my mother's convenience, although she doesn't go down the mountain that much.'
The couple had lived in peace for over 50 years until last week. Liu, now 72 years, returned from his daily farm work and collapsed. Xu sat and prayed with her husband as he passed away in her arms. So in love with Xu, was Liu, that no one was able to release the grip he had on his wife's hand even after he had passed away.
'You promised me you'll take care of me, you'll always be with me until the day I died, now you left before me, how am I going to live without you?'

Xu spent days softly repeating this sentence and touching her husband's black coffin with tears rolling down her cheeks.

In 2006, their story became one of the top 10 love stories from China , collected by the Chinese Women Weekly. The local government has decided to preserve the love ladder and the place they lived as a museum, so this love story can live forever.

From India, Gurgaon
we can also see in indian mythological stories also young girls getting married to kings and rushis
From India, Nanded
You are correct Shikha that it was an extremely bad practise. However, the fact is it still exists in may villages of India.
From India, Mumbai
Ya Aashna, it still exists but in one-off cases. Sad for the girls who fall prey to such situations.
From India, Mumbai
Isse bhi zyaada simple - People who are married concentrate on making your married life beautiful and people who are unmarried should concntrate on themselves and enjoy life!!
From India, Mumbai

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