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Hi All
Need help from you all. I am having a lot of fear while speaking with new people , in a group or in public place. I am always nervous. Always I am thinking something, even while driving also. Daily My sleep was disturbed.
Basically, I am from telugu medium student and working as as software professional.
Please suggest me some solutions
thanks

Dear Sekhar,
Any body can tell you one or two tips, but whether that would be workable or not depends on your complete detail. In fact you need a help of a psychologist whom you should give complete details as per his/her questions for analysis based on your replies to suggest a way out. It can be only due to some inferiority complex in you that can be overcome easily with the help of a psychologist/psychiatrist.
I must advise you, don't depend on hit and trial methods.
With best wishes
P S Dhingra
Vigilance & Management Consultant
Dhingra Consultancy Group
New Delhi

Don't drop your heart buddy, your hesitation can only be cured, if you keep on trying.
Have confidence in yourself and see if you can join any personality development course (these are very short term courses -2 to 3 weeks and can definitely help)
Keep your head high and rock the world !!!

Dear Sekhar,
When you have faith and confidence in your self,you will do more and attempt to do more. I suggest you some tips about how to build confidence and courage. I have also attached two books one is Inferiority complex and self image. and other is Fearlessly Communicating and Talking with Confidence. Plz go through it. ,I am sure you it will prove fruitful for you. Provide me your feedback after reading it.

1. Prepare thoroughly.--Prepare the message of your speech thoroughly. Know exactly what it
is you want to bring across to your audience…and why. Knowing the
purpose of your speech will help focus and organize your thoughts,
thus allowing you to be relaxed when it comes time to make your
presentation.
2. Wear something appropriate and comfortable for the
occasion. --
When you look good (or when you know you look good), you tend to
feel good. When you are less self-conscious, you tend to be more at
ease. Whether we admit it or not, the way we look somehow affects
the way we feel.
Of course, don’t forget proper grooming.

3. Be convinced that what you have to say matters. -------Be convinced of the importance of your message. Doing this will put
you at ease and will make you appear more confident (and above all,
congruent).

4. Put yourself in a “confident” state.

There are many ways to do this. One of the best ways that I’ve found
is to “act as if” you were already confident (that’s if you feel you’re not
quite in the “confident” state yet). Walk and talk the way you would if
you were already extremely confident.

Sometimes, it helps to ask yourself the following questions:

“How would I feel right now if I were absolutely confident?”

“How would I breathe?”
“How would I stand?”

“How would I walk?”

“How would I talk?”

...and so on.
Another excellent way would be for you to imagine
when you were completely confident…then bring th
present moment…and speak/present while in that

Ask yourself the following:

“When, in the past, was I absolutely confident?”

“How did I breathe?”
“How did I stand?”

“How did I walk?”

“How did I talk?”

…and so on.

(It’s very important that when you ask these questions, and when you
do these visualizations, you are not imagining yourself outside your
body as if you were watching yourself as an actor/actress on a movie
screen. You must be in your body…seeing things in the outside world
from inside your own body.)
5. Keep your attention/focus away from yourself…at all costs.---- In other words, avoid being self-conscious at all costs…because self-
consciousness is one of the biggest causes of nervousness. Focus
instead on the message you want to bring across to your audience.
Focus on why you are there….why you are speaking to them.
6. Breathe naturally and in a relaxed manner.
7. Speak as if you were speaking to a close friend or loved one
(in a conversational manner).
8. Always remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes.
9. Avoid the need to gain approval.
10. Trust in the power of your mind (more specifically, your
subconscious mind). Trust that it will deliver the right words at
the right time.
11. Trust that you can handle whatever comes your way.


Attached Files
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File Type: pdf Inferiority-Complex-and-the-Self-image.pdf (271.9 KB, 1132 views)
File Type: pdf Fearlessly-Communicating-and-Talking-with-Confidence.pdf (284.8 KB, 1267 views)

First of all I would like to congratulate you for admitting to everyone (even if online) that you have this problem.

This shows a great deal of courage and bravery on your part.

Then I would suggest that if you have access to a pc that you visit this website where they can certainly help you: Meditainment - Deep Relaxation by Guided Meditation

and the reason that I know they can help you is because they helped me.

I had a very similar problem for 12 years after being kidnapped, beaten and tortured by rebels in former yugoslavia whilst serving there with the UN.

I can assure you that it will go away but you must take the time to go inside yourself and find that perfect inner peace sanctuary deep within you.

This is where this website comes in. There are a great deal of things on this website that are free for you to use, search around and find the one that you feel drawn to because deep within you already know the answer to this problem and you just need to be reminded of what it is.

Only you can do this and no-one else! You are a very brave person for asking for the help you need in this way! Well done!

I wish you all the very best and good luck.

Have faith in yourself and reach for the sky,

Aim for the stars no matter how high.

Just follow your dreams, they’re waiting for you,

And you’re the one who’ll make them come true!

Yes it is great that you are admitting the problem you have. I am sure you would have gone for counselling. Indeed yoga can help you; plz learn any system; or raja yoga or buy some standard books on yoga like light on yoga by BKS Iyengar and start practising. The best way is to accept the limitation and tell yourself that you are going to get over it. Remember the precious life we have a time span and we are to achieve both within and live a successful life in the world also. The former is the primary aim yoga declares. That means the realizing the peace and bliss within. All the outside world thus becomes secondary and here karma yoga stands as DO YOUR DUTY AND LEAVE THE REST TO GOD. NEVER EXPECT THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOUR. wish you all the best. India is a rich country spiritually and being born in this soil you should stand up and face the problems boldly..read books by Swami Vivekananda and follow the scriptures. God bless you.
The fear of public speaking is that you may be executing it for the first time.
The only thing which will take you past is your Courage. "Courage is not only about standing and speaking but sitting down and listen"
Whenever you have to deliver anything publicly, do place yourself in comfort zone.
Just have your breathing controlled, so it looks to the public that you are confident
(even if you are not).
And before going for delivering speech, find a place where there's no one around and shout allound, it will help you to relieve your tension.(it sounds crazy but it works)

Hi
You need to do some home works. Read news papers loudly, Speak in front of the mirror. Speak to your friends casually. Then think every one as your friend and speak to them casually even. This helps you in getting out of fear and nervousness. Do some simple meditations.

I agree with P S Dhingra sir. I will suggest you the same, but you dont think that I have been advised to visit a Psycologist and I have some complex in me. Nothing is like that. But it is the safest and ensured way to cure all these minor things. So without any hesitation kindly consult with a doctor and you will see the change within a short span.
Dont worry Be happy. These things are not too much to worry about.
Regards.

The simplest way is promise yourself that your confident...
Try to pick the conversation v slowly, keep the other person with you by smiling, after 2 minutes you will feel bit comfortable...
Again this doesnt come easily it needs practice


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