Kiss & Slap - CiteHR
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A young Technician and his General Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.

After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young tech are interested in each because they are giving each other "looks." Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of the smack of a kiss followed by the sound of the smack of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.

The grandmother is thinking to herself: "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him."

The General manager is setting there thinking: "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped and hit me!"

The young woman was sitting and thinking: "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!"

The young tech sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself: "Life at Boeing is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his General manager all at the same time!!!!!

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Three men: a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are working on a project.

About midweek they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says "Normally I would grant you 3 wishes, but since there are 3 of you, I will grant you each one wish."

The hardware engineer went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me." The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.........

The software engineer went next. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me." The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.

Last, but not least, it was the project manager's turn. "And what would your wish be?" asked the genie.

"I want them both back after lunch" replied the project manager.

Employee: Sir aap meri salary bada dijiye, meri shaadi ho gayi hai. Boss: Factory ke bahar hone wale dur-ghatna ke liye factory jimmedar nahi hoti.
Paitent: Doctor, yeh phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Yeh mera pehla operation hai,
Success hua to mere liye,
Nahi to tumhare liye.
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Boss(angry): Tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai?
Servant (sar jhukate hue): Nahi sir!
Boss: Niche kya dekh raha hai? Meri taraf dekh.
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Doctor mareej ke peeche bhag raha tha.

Logon ne poocha "Kya hua?"

Doctor: "4 baar aisa hua, sala brain ka operation karwaane aata hai aur sir ke baal katwakar bhag jata hai."
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Regards,
shiv

Heard different versions of this slap joke, between Aussie and a Kiwi, English & French, Yankee and a Canadian - neverthless very funny :-D
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