Hey Sidhu,
Getting another ASSET myt not be easy as it sounds because the said Asset should be hunted, identified, trained, familiarized and on and on and it myt take ample time for him to get used to his job and the new organization. And from a Company’s point of view……..time consuming and costly.
This should be the very last resolve for the problem in my opinion.

From Sri Lanka
Hi Ashra,
U must have seen my all points. You must have seen my 8th points (last suggestion) which is last point that means its last options if we are failure with all options. so like you I am also not interested to loose the company asset but simple question if this asset is becoming cancer (uncurable) for orgainsation, wat u will do??? Will u save cancer affected person??? Will u continue with such attitude as organisation is profit based????? I am no so harsh but its last options.
Thanks for your inputs.
Regards
Sidheshwar

From India, Bangalore
Hi All,

I was little bit late to catch up with this topic or rather the problem. The problem seems to be peculiar but this is not an unsolved problem. As advised by Sidhu, Archna and Ashra, counselling and mentoring could have worked but they didn't in this case. Teenage love or infatuation (cannot be named everything as love which is a divine feeling) is bound to affect the individual and institution whether it could be a college or an organization. One more thing is no one is indispensable in this world of cut throat competition and no one is perfect to the last straw in this world of many differences and diversities.

If counselling and all other ways have failed, he has to be shown the door politely after giving him enough opportunities and if necessary let him appear before a psychiatrist for examination or some hypnotic treatment, if necessary and if you really feel that he is so important and without him the organization is going to suffer a huge loss then go for the above mentioned therapies. If they are not successful there is no other alternative except to ask him to quit after making him clear what he is going to lose in lieu of love or infatuation.

Regards,

PRADEEP

From India, Hyderabad
There are some fundamental tasks in counselling:-

1) Always place before the person the fact that his/her career is going really well and that the involvement with another person can have adverse effect on the same. If he or she does not care for this advise, then the company should demand that their personal lives should not be brought to work - as everyone then can have their own fun if its a 'free-for-all'. If the person is adamant, the company runs the risk of not being able to retain the person under any circumstance, so its better to let the person go;

2) Remember - companies must hire for skill, but let go for attitude.Hence if a person's attitude is not in tune with the culture of your organization, then his or her attitude will destroy the mindset of all;

3) Place yourself in the shoes of the person and try to see if the advise that you intend to give will have an effect;

4) Do not shout or lose your balance in the process;

5) Learn to help the person even if he or she is made to go;

6) Remember that something not similar can also hit you.

SK

From India, Bangalore
Dear Shyamali,

There is a saying that people who mix up their personal and professional life to such an extent where one affect the other is sure to fail in both. Glaring examples have been there in history: Antony and Cleopatra.

The basic thing I feel is not to get involved in the personal life of an employee. Yes, if they seek our help and suggestions we should counsel them but not otherwise.

The whole concept of Corporate counselling takes into account two things:

1) The employee is a rational human being who is interested in growth in his career.

2) The employee wants to change but needs help in changing.

So, as HR we are not in the business of changing Romeo into Bill Gates. This is best left to external consultants, professional psychartists. There are reasons for me saying all these. It is not that I feel you should throw the guy out. Keep him, but the basic ingredients needed to change a person of this sort is not present in majority of Corporates. Some of these are:

1) You need to be a very good friend and confidant, only then will the person fully confide in you, but in Office do we really have or foster such relationships??

2) As a friend you need to spend a lot of time with the employee and also interact with the girl and be their common friend. Do you have the time??

3) By being a common friend then you have the job of either cementing the relationship or to convince the employee that is better to leave the girl by showing him facts, reasons and logic that they are not made for each other. Do you want to give the effort??

Just think, after giving so much effort and time you found out it was a mere infatuation.

Well, please tell the guy that the Company is not liking the attitude, and tell him about the course of action the Company will take if he does not change.

In the end please find out about the girl, you never know whose daughter it might turn out to be. It might be the reason for the type of attitude he is carrying.

Regards,

SC

From India, Thane
:-) That's why you need good recruiters! Correct? Of my little experience, I'd say, anyone, and everyone, can be replaced. That includes the recruiter him/herself. It doesn't take an hour for an asset to become a liability, which I feel is the case with the love-struck person we are talking about!

From United States, San Diego
Hi Shaymali ,
One more thing, no matter how vital that employee is to the organisation dont tell him this in open words.
Definitley let him know that he is a excellent performer and & an asset to the organisation but also let him realize that he is not a asset which cant be "replaced" even though if he actually is "not replaceable" because to be candid, yes people do get gratified & get that boost with the acknowledgement of all this but sometimes if that feeling gets too high in the head than they take things for granted & take the organization for a ride .............. :shock:
Do keep me posted how is it going with Mr. Cupid ......... :lol:
Regards
Prashant

From India, Delhi
Hello Everyone!
First of all I would like to thank each and everyone of you for your patient response.
Swastik,
The point is not of changing Romeo into Bill Gates but to remind Bill Gates of who he was. We don't find Bill Gates everyday!
Shyamali

From India, Nasik
Hi Shaymali ,
One more thing, no matter how vital that employee is to the organisation dont tell him this in open words.
Definitley let him know that he is a excellent performer and & an asset to the organisation but also let him realize that he is not a asset which cant be "replaced" even though if he actually is "not replaceable" because to be candid, yes people do get gratified & get that boost with the acknowledgement of all this but sometimes if that feeling gets too high in the head than they take things for granted & take the organization for a ride ..............
Do keep me posted how is it going with Mr. Cupid .........
Regards
Prashant

From India, Delhi
Dear Sid,
Agreed!! Organizations are profit based but when you look at things in a HR point of view, does the “Profits” come before Human needs???
True, the cancer patient should be cured but not “Killed” right???????? Plus this “love struck” attitude as we all know is not eternal, this is a temporary and the employee will snap out sooner or later and the HRM should encourage him to snap out sooner rather than later. This is not a controllable behavior and catches anyone off guard.
All I am saying is the organization shouldn’t be taking such measures as replacements just because a certain employee falls in love hence neglecting work. They should find alternative and creative ways to help employees recover and come back to earth!!!
Any comments?????
Cheers,
Ashra

From Sri Lanka

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