paromita26
3

FOR ALL WHO LOVE CALCUTTA AND BENGAL...

A is for Awpheesh (as in Office). This is where the average
Kolkakattan goes and spends a day hard at work. And if he works for
the 'West Bengal Gawrment' he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead
till 11, have a tea break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30,
break for lunch at 1, smoke an unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for
tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4 and go home at 4:30. It's a hard
life!

B is for Bhision. For some reason many Bengalis don't have good
bhision. In fact in Kolkata most people are wearing spectacles all
the time.

C is for Chappell (as in Greg). Currently, this is the Bengali word
for the Devil, for the worst form of evil. In the night mothers put
their kids to sleep saying, 'Na ghumaley Chappell eshey dhorey niye
jabe.' (If you don't sleep, Chappel will come and take you away!!)

D is for Debashish or any other name starting with Deb. By an ancient
law every fourth Bengali Child has to be named Debashish. So you have
a Debashish everywhere and trying to get creative they are also
called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debanik, Deboprotim,
Debojyoti, etc. thrown in at times.

E is for Eeesh. This is a very common Bengali exclamation made
famous by Aishwarya Rai in the movie Devdas. It is estimated that on
an average a Bengali, especially Bengali women, use eeesh 10,089
times every year. 'Ei Morechhey' is a close second to Eeesh.

F is for Feeesh. These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and
are a favourite food of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fish
market has such strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a
fish is all right. If not he will say 'eeesh what feeesh is theesh!'

G is for Good name. Every Bengali boy will have a good name like
Debashish or Deboprotim and a pet name like Motka, Bhombol, Thobla,
etc. While every Bengali girls will have pet names like Tia, Tuktuki,
Mishti, Khuku, etc.


H is for Harmonium. This the Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar.
Take four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The
Bheatles!

I is for lleesh. This is a feeesh with 10,000 bones which would kill
any ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with releeesh!

J is for Jhola. No self respecting Bengali is complete without his
Jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings
and he fits an amazing number of things in. Even as you read this
there are 2 million jholas bobbling around Kolkata- and they all look
exactly the same! Note that 'Jhol' as in Maachher Jhol is a close
second.

K is for Kee Kaando ! It used to be the favourite Bengali
exclamation till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai (now Kee
Kando's agent is trying to hire Bipasha Basu).

L is for Lungi - the dress for all occasions. People in Kolkata
manage to play football and cricket wearing it not to mention the
daily trip in the morning to the local bajaar. Now there is talk of a
lungi expedition to Mt. Everest .

M is for Minibus. These are dangerous half buses whose antics would
effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of all James Bond
stuntmen as well as Formula 1 race car drivers. M is also for Maunkey
Cap and Muphler!!

N is for Nangto. This is the Bengali word for Naked. It is the most
interesting naked word in any language!

O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will
cure anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the
ear), to cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where!)

P for Phootball. This is always a phavourite phassion of the
Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two
biggest clubs there are Mohunbagan and East Bengal and when they play
the city comes to a stop.

Q is for Queen. This really has nothing to do with the Bengalis or
Kolkata, but it's the only Q word one can think of. There's also
Quilt but they never use them in Kolkata.

R is for Robi Thakur. Many many years ago Rabindranath got the Nobel
Prize. This has given the right to all Bengalis no matter where they
are to frame their acceptance speeches as if they were directly
related to the great poet and walk with their head held high. This
also gives Bengalis the birthright to look down at Delhi and Mumbai
and of course 'all non-Bengawlees'! Note that 'Rawshogolla' comes a
close second!

S is for Shourav. Now that they finally produced a genuine cricketer
and a captain, Bengalis think that he should be allowed to play until
he is 70 years old. Of course they will see to it that he stays in
good form by doing a little bit of 'joggo' and 'maanot'.

T is for Trams. Hundred years later there are still trams in
Kolkata. Of course if you are in a hurry it's faster to walk.

U is for Aambrela. When a Bengali baby is born he is handed one.

V is for Bhaayolence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent
people around. When an accident happens they will fold up their
sleeves, shout and scream and curse and abuse, "Chherey De Bolchhi"
but the last time someone actually hit someone was in 1947.

W is for Water. For three months of the year the city is underwater
and every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by
surprise by this!

X is for X'mas. It's very big in Kolkata, with ParkStreet fully lit
up and all Bengalis agreeing that they must eat cake that day.

Y is for Yesshtaarday. Which is always better than today for a
Bengali (see R for Robi Thakur).

Z is for Jebra, Joo, Jipper and Jylophone

From India, Bangalore
dreamymini
Hi Paromita
[My Namesake:icon6:]
Nice one..........talks a lot about Bong Culture.
U can just add E- E Maa..........Bengalis tend to use this synonymous to Oh My God!!
J- for Jhalmoori... wherever you go Bongs never resist this.
J- Jacchetai Kando dada- a oft used expression to convey disgust.
C-Cholbe na Cholbe na- concurrently used with the frequent strikes in the state
Cheers!!
Long live Bongs........:-D:-D
Hail Bongo shontan era!!!:-P:-P

From India, Cuttack
paromita26
3

hey ........ hi .... cool comments..... tomar naam ki ???
tomar post e neeche lekha ache.... right.... arrr..... u r currnetly in Vizag.... cool...... ek maash agey ami Vizag e chilam .... for about 4 months !!!!
anyways, good to know another resemblaance of my name !!
Keep in touch :

From India, Bangalore
reji.menon
1

Hi Paromita, Good. Had a hearty laugh .I was in Cal from 1996-2000. So your write up took me down the memory lane. Thanx.
From India, Pune
Mania
Request to all the viewers..... Pls b sportive while reading this..... just have a laugh rather than taking it to ur heart.... otherwise history will get repeated (Kannada thread).... I m a bengali.... & thanks to (Paromita)*2 for this post... had a good time reading this.....
Cheers!!!!
Mania

From United Kingdom, London
mahababa69@yahoo.com
Very nice Paromita. Had a hearty laugh !! It’t the last day of 2008, still early morning (CA,USA). Hoping to end the day in the same note... Wish you all a Happy New Year!
From United States, Rancho Cordova
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