Dinesh Divekar
Business Mentor, Consultant And Trainer
Kuljit Pal Singh
Legal Professional
Manager - Training
Learning & Teaching Fellow (retired)
Hr Manager
Training & Development, Recruitment,
Human Capital Development Specialist
Hr Professional
Hr Executive
Generalist Hr
Ashwini Rege
Hr Professional
Asst Manager Training & Dev.
Private Services
+4 Others

Thread Started by #sravani

Dear Professionals,

I coordinate all the activities of Training & Development at my company. As a part of which i take feedback once the program finishes. But recently when program finished, I missed to take the feedback of few participants in which even GM's are included.

Initially when i sent a mail requesting the participants to send their feedback on the program, two people from senior position had sent it immediately. One is in General manager (Funtional) and the other is in Manager position. But even after 2 weeks, as i did not receive the feedback from rest of the participants I sent a second mail asking them for feedback. The mistake that i did was, I also addressed the mail to the GM & Manager (who already sent the Feedback) asking to send the form.

Immediately i received a call from the manager saying that he already sent the feedback and asked to check me once. I checked, felt bad and realised that even GM had sent the form. So I send a mail to the GM & Manager apologising for the incovienience caused. Immediately I spoke to manager and accepted that it was by mistake and apologised for it. He obviously felt bad and warned me to be cautious in sending the mail when it was addressed to the specific participants in the group in such situations. He further added that others are questioning him about it inspite of sending it. I had no words to speak. I agree to it.

So I thought to accept my mistake and gave another mail to all other participants conveying that GM & Manager had sent form along with my apologies. I thought now no one would question about it and feel that i had accepted my mistake. But the situation was reversed.

Among the participants, one who is a Comp. Secretary called me and asked "Is that required to send the apology mail to every one? It is fine if you send it to the concerned people". Uhhh i was surprised again... no words to speak.... I cursed myself for creating such a mess in the office..........I thought of being sincere in accepting my mistake but it bounced so hard... that now i feel guilty of my behaviour......... I am worried that people definetly pass on this issue to co-employees and i look stupid before them...

Plsss do tell me that did i do wrong/mistake/blunder........ am i bothered too much... it was my 6month in this organization.... what to do........ :?:

Your response either -ve or +ve would surely bring some relief to my concern..... pls suggest.

28th June 2008 From India, Hyderabad
Thanks fro posting your qustion Sravani.
Yes, in a way. When you sent the original mail, you should have added that the mail was a general one to the participants on your mail list and those that had already responded should ignore it. This step would have avoided the problems with GM and the other manager.
When you sent the second mailshot, there was no need to have mentioned the GM, etc. You should have said that you were sorry for not including the above statement in blue.
Do not worry, time is a healer and people will forget this omission.
Have a nice day.

28th June 2008 From United Kingdom
Dear Friend

I remember a story while reading ur stuff.. i would like to share it with all

Once there was one young boy, his father with there Donkey was on the way to coming home after laborious work.

On the way they met a friend who ask that why dont u guys sit on the donkey and conveniently go. The father and son realised this and both sat on the Donkey.

They came across one more friend on the way who ask that Why u guys are harrasing/exploiting the poor Donkey like this. The father and son again realised this and father ask his son that u be seated and i will go with u by walking.

They again met one of their friend on the way. who immediately start criticising the son that u r so young and energetic and still sitting on the donkey and ur poor father is walking on foot.. shame on u!! Realising this son ask his father that the man was right and so now u sit on the Donkey and i go by walk.

They again met one more friend on the way who start criticising father that why r u treating his such a young son like this.. the poor child is on foot and u r sitting so comfortably and enjoing the ride on donkey.

After this both father and son was so confused and think what should they do now...

The moral of this old story is that u never keep all people happy...
I hope u got the message i want to deliver through this old story.

28th June 2008 From India, Vadodara
Well you must have got confused or rather too guilty and must be numb at that time and not known what to do. Dont worry, from life we learn. Happy learning
28th June 2008 From India, Pune
Hey Sravani,
We all are human beings and we all commit mistakes.
I understand that you were too worried that you sent wrong mail to senior people. However, this is not a mistake - per se. it happens with everyone.
Yes, you could have handled it better. At the same time sending an apology mail to all was not a big issue. It's actually good that you accepted it. Its foolish on the part of other employee (computer secretary) to have called and asked you. You could have laughed on his fussy behavior. this shows he does not mind his own work.
Just forget the incident and laugh it off. Dont take it too seriously. But yes, learn from this. Dont talk at all abt this matter and people will forget. No one has time to spend on these things.
relax and keep up the good work.
28th June 2008 From India, Hyderabad
Those who are doing work only get mistakes and they will rectify. Fellows don't do work will not get any thing. Once u accross such type of hurdles u won't repeat once.
Think positively and be happy.
Future is always in ur hand and convert in ur way.
29th June 2008 From India, Nellore
Dear Sravani,
Forget all these, you have done wrong or what so ever you did, Mistakes comes where its worked, not their there was no work, So be pro-active to send these type of mails or any written communication,
Go ahead, Sometimes we have to ignore what people think.
29th June 2008 From India, Gurgaon
Dear Sravani,
Whatever happened is happened. There is no point on brooding over it. We always commit mistakes in life. But for god's sake never repeat it in future.
What you should have done is to circulate hard copies of feedback instead of circulating E-mail. This would have ensured that you would receive feedback from each participant.
What is principal of communication? Check the channel of communication. Your "E-mail" as media of communication created more problem for you.
Secondly, as a manager you need to improve checking skills. If you don't improve now mistakes like this will continue to repeat.
Future is never dark or bright. We make it dark or bright. Take this as learning lesson and move on to make your career bright.
All the best.
Dinesh V Divekar
29th June 2008 From India, Bangalore
hi,u appear very worried about a small thing. Only those people who do virtually nothing ,do not commit mistakes.U asked for a feedback,a manager replied and u sent him another e mail.Once u realised ur mistake and spoke to him about it, the matter should have ended there.There was no need to post ur apology on e mail to him or worse, to rest of the employees.It appears u may have panicked just a wee bit.Dont worry,such things keep on happening.Remember always that an apology is between two persons, and as far as possible, verbal.Written apologies are very official and are tendered in reply to show cause notices,and for big blunders only.U appear to be a little tense on the job. Relax a little, these are small issues
29th June 2008 From India, Delhi
Dear Sravani,
Yes. Initially you committed mistake - sending reminders to GM & Manager who have already sent feedback forms.
Second time you did a blunder (could be of nervous & guilty feeling) - sent the apology to everybody (may be with a view to inform others about the receipt of feedback from them already and to prove that you are open enough to accept your mistakes).
OK. what to do?
It should be the learning curve for your rest of the career.
So, forget the past; Concentrate on present!

30th June 2008 From India, Madras
Dear Sravani
Things like this keep happening
Keep the things passed apart and further whenever you mail requesting for feedback just add one sentence "Request all team members who have sent the feed back to ignore this mail" at the end which would solve the problem
Relax and focus on the future
Good Luck
30th June 2008 From India, Hyderabad
Initially you did the mistake & you appplogy because it was addressed to senior member of the team. It should be there, because these are the senior person with whom you are going to work for long.

Second you did blunder, because Once you have commited the mistake then why you wanted to create mass out of that. There was no need to circulate the message to all that you did the mistake & you wanted to accept that. There will not be any difference if you are going to accept that all infront of all. Rather you againg & again wanted to remind all these people that you have did mistake.

Once you have realised about & you have applogied that was enough for that moment & there is no necessity to show again & again to all.

These all situation is showing that you have less confident to do any work. You might have though that your this mistake is going to be effect on you career. I would say we all are human we all learn from our mistakes only. So be ready to face any situation & do not have the fear to go ahead to handle any activity & Be confident.

30th June 2008
Hi Sravani,
You have explained the situation very well in the posting.
My observations are as follows :
1. This incident can not be termed as a mistake on your part , it is an error.
Learning : to double check the recipients hwile writing any e-mail.
2. Reactions from the Annoyed Manager was unwarranted.
Learning : At times employees have the "knack" of making a moutain out of a mole. Learn to deal with these kind of reactions.
3.Writing a apology mail marked to all
Learning: this could have been avoided , make a personal one on one tallk could have been better.
This is a trvial matter , there is nothing to fret about. Be alert and active on the Job.
Manage your nerves better , it shall help you in all walks of life.
All the best !! I am sure you will do better. Cheer up ...
30th June 2008
first of all the thum rule is that you do not apologize in public. If you have to write such emails, keep in mind that you mention, "if already sent the feedback, please ignore this message". Whatever had to happen has happened and do not feel guilty or embarrased b'coz of this. The important step is that what learning you have extraced from this incident and and you do not repeat this again. Be confident.....see how you can add value in whatever you do. coz this will help the organisation as well your own growth..
Forget the incident and move forward.
30th June 2008 From India, Madras
Dear Sravani,
Don't brood over this for much too long. Ppl will forget this in a few days. You don't have to be bothered about what other ppl say. Your actions will speak for you.
Get over this quickly and relax. You seem to be very tensed. We all learn from our mistakes.
All the best!
30th June 2008 From India, Bangalore
Hi Sravani,

Just take the learning from these transactions and move forward. As rightly said by Kuljit, you cannot
satisfy every one. People should appreciate the intention rather than asking questions.

BTW, did you manage to collect all the feedback? If not just put your efforts on that than worying on this.

Best Wishes,
30th June 2008 From India, Madras
Hi Sarvani,
I believe writing a mail is just like "Putting up some thing on Notice Board".
Your only mistake was to include those who should not be in the list of addressee, creating a complete mess.
Every one addressed felt some sort of humiliation on their mistake being made public, it aggravated the situation on reminder, compelling them to revert back on a very defensive mode.
My only suggestion is whenever you mail keep in mind you are "Putting up a message in Notice Board" you will never make such mistake.
30th June 2008 From India, Delhi
Dear Sravani,
You seem to be worried about the incident. My suggestion to you- dont bother on what has happenend and focus on the learning part- what the incident has taught you...
And now, focus on your present role / task and enjoy the process... :)
30th June 2008 From India, Hyderabad
Hi, When you make mistakes only then you learn from it. It is ok every faces something or the other and learn from it. Forget about this incident and concentrate on your work and career. Tx J
1st July 2008
I too agree with Kuljit here.It gets difficult to handle Sr. Management’s ego problems, specially for junior HR professionals.
1st July 2008 From India, Pune
Be very very careful with your communications. Emails tend to bite back. they should be specific in content and addressed only to the people concerned.
Unfortunately your email has caused chaos instead of clarity. Let it rest. Life goes on and this is a lesson learned. If you keep revisiting it with more convoluted explainations it will take on a life of its own ..............enough.
Take a deep breath. This is not the end of the world. Learn from it and Good Luck with your next session.
1st July 2008 From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
Dear Mr. Narasimha, Thank you for the immediate response. As you rightly said, i need to follow the blue color marked statement at the end of every such mail to avoid chaos... Thank you so much.
1st July 2008 From India, Hyderabad
Dear Mr. Kuljit, Thank you. I realised the moral of the story and i got the message. Yes i am at confused stage at that moment and did not gave a thought to act properly. Thanks once again
1st July 2008 From India, Hyderabad
Dear Mr. Dinesh, K.Ravi, ash.pgdm, GK, mnj.tiwari, manu.sharma and uniquenaga,
Thanks for your suggestions. As you and many of our CiteHR professionals rightly said, it was really a great and bitter experience for me. I normally take the feedback immediately after the program, but as i did not have enough copies on hand, i could not circulate it.
But with this incident, i am maintaing sufficient copies and distributing it immediately as the program ends and collecting back imeediately. This is more convinient and safest method. It improved the process from one angle. As others stated, as time passes by, people forget it.... till now the need to meet the manager did not arise, may be tomorrow i may meet him.... i pray he will calm down :)
Thanks once again. All your messages not only relaxed my thoughts but also warned me to be careful of my work.
1st July 2008 From India, Hyderabad
Dear All,
Thanks for your enormous response and valuable suggestions. Every word in each message tells, how much thought process was made to my case... Thanks a ton. I completely agree with you all in each aspect. This is really a small issue but great and bitter experience.
Now i am very cautious in sending emails to the people. Improved the process of collecting feedback immediately. Not to forget the blue colored statement which Mr. Kuljit pointed out. email etiquitte. When & how to appologize?
Thank you for one and all.
1st July 2008 From India, Hyderabad
Its nothing dear...Be confident- what you have done and what you are doing Most importantly- Your intention was not wrong hence you are were not wrong. In the corporate culture you need to learn this art. everybody commits the mistakes, there is no signle perosn on this planet who does everything alright. You mentioned that "I coordinate all the activities of Training & Development at my company" think this was your OJT. Be happy.
2nd July 2008 From India, Bangalore
Hi sravani,
This is a very silly thing. i think you are just paniking coz those who told you are of higher position than u r.
But yes when you do apolozise pl make it in different communication to the particular person/people only.
its an experience i am sure that you won't forget.
There is no problem if your co-workers know. you just need to laugh at it & remember not to do it again.
Don't panic........it might reflect what you r doing now & what you will do next.
2nd July 2008 From United States, Rural Hall
Dear Sravani,
You need to understand that we all learn from mistakes. Anyone who is willing to perform shall commit mistakes and there is nothing wrong about it. It is the genesis which matters ie., whether the mistake was delibrate or unknowing. Yours seems to be the latter one. So do not brood over it. U know lessons are learned the hard way. I am not in agreement with ash.pgdm that u should laugh it off. U have realised the mistake and u will not repeat it. Laughing it off shall only make you more complacent.
2nd July 2008 From India, Madras
Dear All,
Today I met the Manager personally after fixing the appointment, to discuss the training activities for the month of july. He was so cool, he himself raised the matter saying that "you got bashings from two managers... right" (with a big laugh). I too smiled and said, "yes sir. though bitter, it was a good experience. now i am more cautious in my work... there is a reason for your reaction but i dont agree with our company secratary.... anyways it was good lesson for me.. thank you sir"........... he too smiled and said "it happens... jst relax" and we had our meeting continued.....
Now i am completely relaxed........Once again thanks for all of you.. May be your responses also created some confidence in me to step into his room and speak with confident... Thanks!
2nd July 2008 From India, Hyderabad
Dear Sravani This is a part of life. But...... Never forget the lesson that you learn from your mistakes. Cheers Regards Kanchan
2nd July 2008 From India, Pune
Dear Sravani,
I am working with a German Multinational company as Asst Manager - HRD (Corporate). The positive part was you had immediatly recognised and accepted the fault. But whenever group communication is required one should be double sure about the content and addressee before sending communication.
But yours is not a major mistake rather I can see that you have a good attitude towards the responsibility.
I Suggest in future, you should always work with checklist and planner.
Cheers & be positive:icon1::icon1::icon1:
Thanks & regards,
Deepak Nayar

2nd July 2008 From India, Mumbai
It would be heavenly if we could select the date and time when we let ourselves mess things up :)!
but since that is never ever the case, take it as a learning experience, for sure you wont make this mistake again.
3rd July 2008 From India, Madras
Whatever u has done that was really your small mistake.

But its ok some times unknowingly it happens.

Time is a healer and people will forget this ……..so no need to worry

Just need to take a lesson from your mistake

Take Care
4th July 2008 From India, Gurgaon
Dear Sravani,
Cool yar, u learn from ur mistakes, make sure next time u dont address seniors in an universal mail. Address seniors separately (individual Mail) and others in a group.
This will be good in case u do any mistake further also, but i hope this will not repeat.
Cheer Up and go-ahead.
4th July 2008 From India, Bangalore
Dear Sravani,
I wanna share this with you.. not too long back, there was a time when i used to make mistakes... n keep worrying abt.. this affected my present n my days to come....
i came across this secret...
What you think is what happens... thats the power of the universe..
Trust me, if u want that this should heal at the earliest, just come out of it...
What had to happen, has already happened, the steps that you took, could have been taken by many such people in such a situation...... its not as huge a blunder to affect you soo much.
Dont let it disturb you any more.
Try this:
Smile and say, "I promise myself, i shall be cautious next time and will not be in haste. I am fine now! I am feeling good now!" Look into the mirror and smile! Just laugh it out and ease yourself from this. Ask yourself "Wats next"
If you are unable to do this, you would be creating a lot of negative energies and wud keep imagining the worse to happen.... n trust me, it wud then surely happen. So plz, think of the good and come out of this!
Trust me, it works as magic! I am a witness to it!
Luv yourself! Watver has happened....Its simply ok!

Gud luck n keep smiling! Done let it affect u more:)Take care

5th July 2008 From India, Pune
Yes,i agree with Uniquenaga N others also .plz take this incident as a learning lession which may help in the future. and Be sure during correspondence with seniors or particular persons.
U may told to cs, ok sir, if u dont like it i will take care in future.
Mahesh Patel
8th July 2008 From India, Ahmadabad
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