Home Top New Follow Journal Login
Hi... These days m facing a new problem in my company which is of a different kind and i m not getting the way out of this...

I m wrking in a medium size IT company. most of my employees are young. From some days i m noticing that there are few couples in my organization, they are in some relationship with each other. i don't have any concern about what kind of relations they are having but now it is hampering the work and workplace.

They spend more time together in the cafeteria, they are now less interacting with other colleagues and the boy doesn't like that his girl interacting with other boys. It is spoiling the working environment. Although they are more concentrated on each other than the projects. Most of the time i found them in the cafeteria or in the balcony.

I think i can t give them warning letters regarding this as it is a part of their personal life i cant say them not to talk to each other.

Please tell me the way out of this problem. Before it totally spoil the working environment of my organization please help me......
From India, Bangalore
Take out their Roles & Responsibilities and review their performances.

make sure that their TL is there along with you.

Ask TL to do a Preliminary round.

U can point them upon their performances.

If you make them feel abot their performances, two things will happen either they will get back to you or they will hang their boots..

Both are beneficial to you....

Humble Request

This is very simple issue. Kindly do a self introspection and analyse why this situation came up.

Do a root cause analysis of the whole issue, definitely you will get good solutions,,

If you still do not get any solution then you can post.

u know sensational postings are attracted so much than informational posts.

Apologies if i have hurt you....
From India, Coimbatore
Hi Urvashi,
Yes, u cannot interfere in their personal life but as far the work of the organization is concerend, if its suffering and they are not fulfilling the expected duties then you can reprimand them on this issue.
Tell them that they are not co-operating with other employees in the projects and also give them warning telling them that you are least bothered about their personal relationships but you will not compromise as far as their work is concerned.
From India, Delhi
i am new to the HR world and i m the only ahr of the organization....
i cant discuss it with any of my employee so i thought to discuss this situation here and then take any action so i ll be confident enough that wat i m doing is correct or may i get any other effective way....
From India, Bangalore
Hi Urvashi Verma,
Couple of questions that strikes my mind.
Regarding Your work timings and break timings. Do you have leads and managers to take care of young buddies?
I understand these days’ youngsters are prone to procrastination, fun and games will tempt those lots.
One thing let me tell you, nothing is personal when it comes to work, we are all professionals and we all have certain duties and responsibilities and we are accountable for all bad things that creep in organization culture.
if we are talking bout
Work getting hampered , Employees Spending time in Cafeteria and balcony then on the floor ,Relationship/affairs in organization, projects getting affected.
i think we need to make few things clear and bring in few changes within:
Accountability for Productivity:
Make all employees accountable for their job, we are not being paid for free....
I suggest you to call leads and discuss the issues with them and tell them to handle their teams as per the schedules, make people accountable for productivity, may be this is the reason employees are not on the floor most of the time.
Challenges on the job:
Create Challenges on the projects by talking to leads. Create some seriousness and if required you will have to let all know that unwanted breaks are not acceptable.
If Policy is not there, MAKE A CLEAR POLICY:
Make a policy of break timings/personal affairs etc., and once you frame policy, please publish it to all employees and let then know certain unwanted things are not acceptable on the floor.
Identify people if required , who are frequently taking unwanted breaks, do not encourage this culture of employees taking advantage of work schedules.” Stitch in time saves Nine..” , once you publish the policy observe for some time, if still things don’t change, pick up people who were identified and call them for one on one friendly meeting first, it doesn’t matter if it’s a girl or boy.
Speak to them openly and clearly tell them the objectives of company and make them realize, the impact of their behavior on the floor. Even if it doesn’t work? then go to the next level of calling in for serious meeting of that one employee along with their lead and explain the seriousness of situation.
Even then employees don’t mend their ways then you have right to give one official warning and send email to that individual along with CC to leads. Once all employees know the seriousness of required expetations on the job, then I am sure every body will change.
Some times we are forced to taken serious action and one that action nothin person but purely on professional grounds, but we will have to take if , if necessary, for making things better for others who are serious career centered and focused people and also for the organizational objective....After all we dont mind anybody having affair outside the office or doing anything which is not part of our profession.

From India, Hyderabad
First of all I would appreciate the solution, which has ben given by Rkandadai. It will really help to come out with a solution, but i am shocked with the reply and suggestion of Lovebird..."Fire them". Are we working as Human Resource professionals?? Can't we understand personal feelings, sentiments. Being a human anybody can fall in such situation and being the HR professiona, this is our responsibilities to make them understand the values of Organisational Climate, Culture and of course the valued office hrs. and we have to treat them in a very polite way cause as I feel Every single employee is a gem for the organisation.

And keep firing them, is not a solution, try to understand the problems and provide a proper cure for the problem is the duty of HR personnel.....isn't it??

"Directly Fire Those . @@*$)$)#)%$," HORRIBLE ANSWER, I have ever heard in my professional life.

Please treat them as your friend, and believe me they will understand the importance of their Jobs and you will feel proud, when they will be back on the track. It will also help you to boost your marale and confidence, as being HR we will have to face such critical issues...and have to care it politely...

From China
Hi Urvashi
Have an initial conversation one to one with these people. Dont highlight these personal issues but you can definately talk on the performance. Before that make sure that their reporting authorities send them a mail on pending tasks. This actually would be the ground for you to talk. Then given them some time like a month and tell them that their they would be under the observation for performance. If problem still continues then you can take the final decision.
From India, Hyderabad
I mentioned this earlier also on CiteHR and also in some of my articles…”If you do your private things in public then public has every right to comment and act”. In this case, whatever they do in company premises is not their personal thing. Yes, they can have affair; can get married etc. It hardly matters what they do after working hours or on weekend but as long as they are in office…during working hours…they should be doing what they has been asked to do…or what has brought them to the company.

I think…you should be counseling them…if that is not enough then warn them…and still if they don’t listen…fire them. You cannot keep people who are not able to distinguish between their personal and professional life.

I hope this will help.

Thanks and Regards
From India, Mumbai
Dear Urvashi,Now a days this is happening in every organisation; I can understand your position being a single HR as I am in the same boat. I feel 1st you take their immediate superior in confidednce and check their opinion about these guys performance, interpersonal relationships within organisation. If they are also feeling it and sensing that performance and even team bonds are getting hampered then ask them only to initiate a talk with them by calling one to one meeting. You need to be apart of such meeting.After such meeting observe wether there are improvements or not and then after a gap of 15 days along with their immediate superior have meeting them one by one and convey the message that management is looking at this very seriously and we will observe the improvements for next 15 days again and will imform you accordingly.If there is a desirable change then situation is under control then convey the same message to that employee as well because appriciation is beiggest imp tool in HR to make people realised about their progress on professional front.But if you found that situation is twisted in more wrost phenomenon then you issue them waring letter and this will legally help you to take further serious action against them.Regards,Mona
From India, Mumbai
Hi Urvashi,
Just as simple as you can do. Give them a warning that their relation in the office premises is creating dis balance among the other guys and also negative impact on the office environment. They can be good colleagues
in the office hours not more than that.
Strict warning to them "Be dedicated to the office work in the office timings afterwards go to hell --- no issues".
Even if they don't listen..... just fire them...
From India, Hyderabad
Dear Urvashi,
I really go along with RK & Deepak,we should understand the problem , as suggested put them in different timings/shifts if there is shift based system or put them into different roles/project, put them into different technical training program if they are not into projects..and convey the policies of the company clearly..
From India, Madras
Hey Urvashi,
Cant you take this up with your Manager & discuss the issue..
These things are commom everywhere but it should not hamper the workplace thats all.
If it is really going worst then better take it to the concerned people resolve it..

Hi Urvashi... I completely agree with Deepak & RK... Some companies actually have policies for employees in the same department who are related... Shift those employees to different departments or verticals or shifts, as the case may be.... I am sure this will help & i am saying this because I myself have handled a similar situation in my previous organization.. It worked!!! :)
Hope you soon get out of this situation...
From India, New Delhi
Hi urvashi!! I am agreed with RK's opinion and I also suggest to become a strickt HR as well. Managing time, culture(by policy)to be followed,This type of behaviour will put organization into probs. Employee has to perform Professionaly, Kaam-se-kaam rakho....whatever relation anyone is having with anyother, no symtoms to be seen in the organization so couple can enjoy anything outside and off duty. Remember that you are HR and you have to be like HR only and Be Rational on your job. you can indeed councile both to concentrate more on work and also prais their work if they have done good. After giving opportunity if they are not changed, issue a notice on the same for 74hrs. If no changed, Issue notice again with24 hrs. REMENBER, IF EMPOYEE NOT KEEPING ORGANIZATION'S CULTURE, BY DOING THIS HE OR SHE DOING MISCONDUCT.....YOU CAN LATER ON TERMINATE.
From India, Ahmadabad
Dear Friend,
I think what Peer Saab as mentioned is correct. I mean you better make each one of them feel that what they ate doing is seriously effective the growth of company so always in such cases you better handle the case with the TL of that particular team which needs to be done now and than if such things keep happening to make them understand that nobody gets paid for nothing.
I hope you will try this out to get your problem solved and you really dont need new ideas to handle such things. Just make sure you have your TL and management with you and goahead. All the best..........
Amith R.
From India, Bangalore
Hi all,
First and foremost pl check ur company policy whether couples are allowed to work.
Then proceed with a counselling session.
If not fruitful ,pl analyze their performance matrix along the days.
And another solution is to change either of the couples role and department if the policy allows.
From India, Madras
Hi, As far as personal life is concerned so it is after office hours. During office hours if they are lingering & not working u can always question. Regards, Durga
From India, Delhi
I think you don't have clear cut policy regarding disciplene & HR policy. First make the Authetic policy & discuss it with Higher & Final Authority disclose all the matter before him. Only some thing you can do your level. Like stick some national & international Heros Quote, give advise like friend but rember no funny Because the "Y" theory of Hazberg dosen't work always if these all not working then you can use "X" theory
If you become so sweet you will become Diebetic Paitient.
If I worng Please reply seinor/ junior members.
Thanks & Regards

From India, Delhi
Dear All,

I believe such issues can be resolved with utmost care. Please consider the following points with this regard:

Firstly, check out their individual performance. In case their performance is falling or they are not achieving their targets, probably then you can put this point to their boss/super boss (Team Leader). Make sure such a thing should come from their boss via mail so as to have record thereof.

Have a feedback session with such employees. Act as a mentor and counsellor for them by bringing their achievements so far and the areas where they need to improve. Also, try to develop team spirit in the feedback.Ask them as to why they are not interacting and coordinating with their male team members in case of female employees.In case they speak out about their personal relationship,try to give some practical examples of such cases and the consequenses thereof.

Secondly, the company can probably specify the break timings, say, 2-3 tea breaks in a day of not more than 15 minutes in a day so as to avoid frequent meetings with their partners.

Thirdly, the boss should arrange a project wherein the female employee needs to interact and coordinate along with male employees for her project so that her partner should not feel possessive on account of that. Same procedure should be followed for male employees.

Also, i agree with Deepak that one cannot fire at the first instance to any employee on account of having relationship within the organisation.

But what if the performance of such employees is substantial enough? Then probably you can have feedback session exclusive of the point realting to their performance as mentioned above.

Please correct me in case i am wrong.
From India, Gurgaon
I think the rules and regulations have to be explained to the couple and make them accountable for their work. In addition to that, you tell them how it is going to be affected their career and organisation. You can tell them that they don't have right to hinder the organisation development.
The couple should be educated how to keep the personal feelings conflict with the organisation goals which are byproduct of collective effort.
From India, Hyderabad
i think u should have a open discusision with them regarding this. i agree to the opinion of deepak. Even in my company , myself and my fiance is waorking together but we always take care to show only professional relation within the company...after all it our work place rite
From India, Delhi
Hi Urvashi.
It appears to be the case of in effective delegation of responsibilities and accountibilities, you must understand the root cause and address the issues with their immediate bosses rather than discussing their personal behaniors. Things are going to in place.
From India, Delhi
Dear Urvashi,

Before a couple of months we were sailing on the same boat but thankfully i have sucessfully crossed the high tide and reached the safe bank.
Well - i adapted the technique of being friendly with the girl and on a personal level i counseled her that what ever she was doing was wrong and more of in the professional atmosphere. This will not only affect her performance and her impression in this company but will have a negative impact thru out her professional career. In a way the job market is very wide but when it comes to such negative issues they get highlighted and spread out very fast like a fire.
This fact was not unseen or unknown to the top people.
We have the facility of company provided transportation, so to give an indirect hind we changed the vehicle of one of them although the route was the same. The boy was asked to take the vehicle of a different route and manage to reach thill that stop on his own. This gave an hint to both of them about their behaviour not being liked by anyone.
Ultimately she was bent upon not wanting to heed any good words from anyone. Infact unfortunately both of them did not want to give any importance to these signals and diplomatically the lady was given the proposal of submitting her papers for the exchange of 2 months.
Thankfully she understood the signal and quit the organisation.
This is completely a different issue that although both of them are married they still continue to maintain their relationship OUTSIDE our organsiation - which we give a damn to.

Let's see if this story gives you some idea to tackle your situation.

Wish you all the best and may soem special power give them the insight to decide what is right and what is wrong - atleast keeping the place in mind

Best Regards

From United States
Who told they need counselling,
Are they small puppies, who need to be shown the right path, they full grown up individuals and working in organisation still performing indecent acts in office.
This should directly result in termination.
They should understand that they are coming to office and not a park.
And why to counsel them? regarding their problems and tell them to do their acts outside office hours.
Let them do it anywhere,
But if they do in office it will result in termination.
Install CC cameras in office and record their indecency work and publish in your termination letter.
From India, Pune
Analyse all the above said ideas and do the one which you can do or else look for one more alternative solution.
From Hong Kong
Hi All,
I also agree with RK and yes i think the problem will be solved, i dont' think that anyone will behave weirdly after that. if at all they are continuing doing the same act, then think about it, whether they want to do it desperately or want u to ask them to quit the job etc etc. so go ahead and talk to them. that is what HR Is for. all the best to u. and keep in mind one thing, think empathetically, sympathetically and still if no solution then ..................
From India, Delhi
Hello Ravi,
As you point out, there should be rules of behaviour at work. The rules can be applied to take necessary action.
However, there is a problem with assuming more than what the post contains. Our tutor warned us against making assumptions. He said "Never assume, check facts; as if your assumptions are wrong, you make an 'ASS' of 'U'and 'ME'."
I think I would go with suggestions made by persons like Deepak.
Have a nice day

From United Kingdom
As this situation is normal in IT and BPO/KPO's were youngsters work. You should have strict policy of breaks. Which will help you to solve you major problem.
You should divied a team and those couple and keep difference for lunch break for half hour.....! this is normal process in BPO/ KPO's and if any more friendship is developing in team he is been transfered to other team.
And it really works.......................!
Try it out ....!
From India, Mumbai
I agree with the person who says firing wont be the right answer. As hr proffesionals our job is to find ways through such situations and not to avoid them. Speaking to them will help, and also i think using this situation as a advantage will help. U just have think in a +ve way. I dont want to give u a direct answer as it would hamper ur creativity. best of luck.
From India, Pune
Dear urvashi,Iam agreed with Mr.Peer Mohammad. And as far as my opinion, definitely you can't interfere in their personal life, but at the same time you need to clerify them that they there in the Office (company premises) and the employee have to obey and follow the certain rules and regulations of the organisation.First of all Check out that how much time they are wasting in this... after that get there roles and responsibilty and Tragets (if is there any) and then seat with their HOD and tell employee/guide/instruct/suggest to give their 100% for there roles and reponsibility towards their Job... Also, if you dont have any such policy in regard to this matter then make it to avoid further any such problems.I hope it will work out for you.... regds,Sachin Soni

HI Urvashi,
I know it is a really tough situation for you to start with and also this is a serious discipline issue. I think u must be reporting to some body at higher level. This problem cannot be encountered with the support of the TL/Managers.
Reason of this - The engagement of the employees are low at work soo they have enough time for personal things.
1st you need some time to get the settled in the system then u will be able to take any action - right away you can not take any action.
2nd you need to discuss the same with your boss.
3rd discuss with the TL/Managers and tell then to keep track of the engagement of their employees.
4th Engagement means check every employees KRA n KPA / MBO.
I think this will be enough for now that u can do now. Take managers into confidence and also advise them accordingly to provide proper work to every one and keep them engaged.
From India, Mumbai
Agree with RK.
But in certain Companies there HR rules stating that if any one marries within the Organization one of the party has to resign from the job. The idea is to ensure cordial environment within the organization as there are chances of ego clashes
From India, Mumbai
We definitely do not have anything to poke into their personal life. Definitely the office decorum cannot be spoiled - u can have 1-1 discussion with them separately - advise them on the implications on their performance level and their career growth. They are in the adoloscent age and definitely with such advise would go a long way in both their professional and personal life. I had a similar experience which I handled in the same way and I had succeeded in making both undrestanding the reality of life.
From India, New Delhi
Hi! Urvashi , I feel ( though I am not from HR) that if this is reaaly hampering the work of the organization then it's better when you can have a daily huddle in the morning.In this huddle you must set goals for the day for each individual & the same should be recapped the next day in the morning. Start giving flags to those who are doing initiatives & who collects the maximum star at the end of the month could be rewarded with lets say - sodexo passes.I also feel that you must encourage these people to have more of such bonding between them by also participating in their discussions.I know it is easier said then done but you can include some activities in the break time which creates a bonding between the team.As you have mentioned some of the personnel indulge in un professional practice hence for those you need to discuss that they are for achieving the organizational goal rather following their own agenda.
P.S - Kindly don't start the subject line with such statements which attracts people who are interested in such topics that deal with male female intimate relationship.I hope u will not misunderstand me.
Bottom Line : Some times you have te strict also for passing your message to some elements who still carry on with such activities. But never fire a person , till the time it's not a will issue...

Warm Regards

From United States, Houston
Dear Urvashi,
I am with Mr. Sardar on this issue.\
Please carry out the root cause analysis of the problem.
It is not a complex problem.
It could be resolved by effective counselling rather than by issuing warning letters.
While counselling, please do not tread into their personal lives as it would defeat the very purpose.
Vijay Shitole
From India, Mumbai
Transfer them to another Team leader. or possible to change their timings.Show their performance.
From India, Indore
There is possibility that such people can start anywhere, even if they get new team leader, this menace may not stop.
From India, Pune
Dear Urvashi
I am surprised about the way you feel about the situation and your conflicts in handling the issue
primary thing to be taken in consideration just like the organiztion cannot interefer in personal relations people should also know that any personal relationships should not be allowed to affect the work or work environment
if they dont understand it is our responsibilities to make them understand it
naturally you cannot talk to them about the realtionship itself but you can very well talk to them about how it is affectinf their work and the work enviroment and make them understand their social responsibilties with in the organization and also how they should draw the line between the personal and official relationship.
so better take them both into your personal cabin and have an open dicussion at the earliest
From India, Madras
Hi Urvashi

I agree with what most of the members say here: make them accountable for their performance and targets and also ensure that they do not break their break tinmings and reporting timelines.

As Peer saab said, if a professional strictness is shown to these people, they will either be forced to give up their peppy games and focus on work, or resign.

Moreover, if you, as an HR personnel, find such couples going beyond the boundaries of shame, and indulging in smooching or cuddling or some such other activities inside the premises of the Company, you can give them an official warning along with intimation to their reporting managers.

There was one such couple in my previous Company who were turning the workplace into Buddha Garden.....and you know: such things never go unnoticed even by the higher level managers: The girl has been kicked out long ago, and the guy, who would have been an Assistant Manager by now had he played his cards right, has been literally made a dog, careerwise. Its a shame how some people ruin good careers by indulging in such stupidity....really a shame.

You are an HR personnel: it should be the other way round: THEY should worry of the consequences of such childish and unprofessional behaviour of theirs.....you should not lose your sleep over such people.


From India, Calcutta
Hi Urvashi,
In this situation, you can trace out the work of those particular employees or have a detail discussion with their Team Lead/Manager for getting feedback about them in the work circumstances. Then if work load is not that much and that they are having enough time to spend with those girls, u can allot some more work loads to them without giving any chatting time. This is one way.
Also, as u are into HR, you will be having full rights to have one to one meeting with those persons. If it goes extreme level definitely you should conduct a meeting in general mentioning about the company's status and in the final statement you can say that u r unhappy about the environment in the office and bla bla......
Just try, u will get some solution definitely. Pls revert how is my suggestion?
From India, Madras
I guess it is not difficult thing to handle but should be handled in a good way. as all suggested that check the performance of every employee.
Also give some targests to thm.
All the best!
From India, Vadodara
Hi Urvashi,
You cant stop attachments/relationships forming but you can implement your company's policy on workplace behaviour. That is if you have such a policy.
Most companies do. It lays down clear and understandable guidelines as what is acceptable and what is not.
The employees are paid to work, romance is not part of the workload.wasting time on the balcony etc means that some one else on the team has to pick up the slack. Most unfair and very unprofessional.
A clear & frank discussion ( seperately) is quite in order.
From United Arab Emirates, Dubai
If your employees have so much time to spend with others inside office,then there should be two reasons.One,The employees have 'No Target to work or No work", Two,The Hr head is so flexible in discipline Management. Make these areas strong and review,definitely you would succeed.
From India, Madras
Urvashi....Urvashi.....take it easy Urvashi.......
Dont worry , Go with RK's opinion first .Later you may
apply a few tricks to stop this practice by
Cold blooded elimination theory.But keep it mind
whenever you will hit ,that should be purely by Official

I exactly dnt know who are you in the organisation(as I am new to this Site)...If you are the superior person in the organisation you can obviously tell them,actually order them not to do but in a diplomatic way(tell the truth without hurting).Its your duty to do so and you are responsible for it.
From India, Hyderabad
These type of problems do arise in places where most elegible bachlors and ladies are employed.
If the couples make real love towards each other in a work place they would preferabley keep their one to one interaction as sacretand will not tend to spoil the working environment around them.
These situations go uncontroled only where places where there is no policies and guidelines for the enmployees framed in balck and white.If that is there they will realise their accountabilty and hav the fear of being questioned by the authorities.
A casual conselling will some times yield good result to these problems but cannot be considered as a solution to these problems. As this would provocate the couple and they would try to raise the question of authority of the persons who try to counsel them.
Better have detailed policy and procedures on the timings and moral ethics.If a sample procedure is uploadied in this site , it willbe helpfull to so many.
With best wishes

Looks like this thread will overtake the thread "lady employee wearing skimpy clothes to office" in the viewership, responses and popularity !!! Great...
There are so many useful and unattended threads in this forum... wish those threads also got such viewership and responses. Let us do some justice to those friends too who are contributing many useful things to this site...not just for popularity.
From India, Madras
I agree with you. Looks that the new generation 'execs' who 'slog' for FIVE LONG days at workplace need a big comic relief and keep clacking about this great topic. God save them, and our forum. We have loads of items of greater importance.
From India, Madras
Hi Urvashi verma,
This is very normal issue in an organisation.
My Suggestions:
1. If you work close with an employee from the day one u can.............
2. Now take both of their responsblities go through it.
3. Assign a task to complete against thier responsblities.
4. After completion of task don't try to prove they are non-perfomer, make them to realise by speaking in personnel with the result.
5. Ensure in future also.......
6. If not find a reason against their perfomance and terminate them.
7. Sorry to say that, if it is continues entire organisation will be suffered.
8. You might be under risky position to answer for your management.
Kindly reply to my mail for my understanding in this case.
People will not believe always, what you say? People will always believe, what you do?
From India, Dindigul
Dear friend,
This is a really going to spoil the environment of the company.Better you inform them these kind of activities are not expected in the work time.Time & again u both r observed together n is best oppurtunity for others to do the same.U both execute ur job n do whatever u want,BUT outside the campus,even not in cafeteria.V r not going to involve in ur personal life,but when it comes to organization,policies n rules r to be followed,no matter whoever is.If not get ready for consequences,when u r not caring about us,we too hardly do.
From India, Pune

Reply Here Start New Discussion

About Us Advertise Contact Us
Privacy Policy Disclaimer Terms Of Service

All rights reserved @ 2017 Cite.Co™