15-01-2008, 02:07 PM
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 How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends
How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends
It is always a difficult process making new friends and bridging that interactive gap, especially for people seeking new dates and partners. But wishing, hoping and dreaming about finding our ideal partner, without any form of strategy will lead nowhere. Serious people do not leave everything to chance. They try their utmost to increase the possibilities of meeting that ideal person by doing something about it, even if it is to strike up a simple conversation. A lack of interest in others, exaggerated fears, a need for approval, a focus on ourselves and social protocol (especially for women) make it hard for us to communicate or use our initiative to bridge that gap with a stranger.
A man at a club once said that he didn't ask me to dance because he feared rejection. But he lost the possibility of acceptance too by doing nothing! Another day, I was in the local car park in my town and saw a shy-looking man gazing at me intently. He went on his business, returned to the car park at the same time as I did, and continued to look at me, hoping I would probably indicate some form of acceptance. He was quite appealing and I exchanged eye contact but said nothing. He drove off soon afterward, again lacking the courage to make a move towards me. I often wondered about him, who he was and where he was going, and I am sure he wondered about me too. But when we make no effort in such situations, nothing ever happens.
For this reason, for fear of our actions being misinterpreted and because of the perfection we seek, men now dance by themselves, or talk among themselves, and women do the same, each gender lacking the courage to make a move while they drift further apart in the selection process and remain on their own for much longer. In fact, at another club, a man walked in and took up a position leaning against a wall. He never left that position for the rest of the night, not even to get some drinks. He looked sad, lonely and dejected and everyone ignored him. I wondered why he bothered to come out of his house if he wanted to just exchange one wall for another! But that's what fear and low self-esteem do for us. They rob us of opportunities to join the human race.
http://76.163.56.108/gpage15.html#Ho...Make%20Friends
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