This question is from our one training participant for Crucial Conversations.
Q. Recently, I have been put in a very difficult situation. My CEO wants me to do something I consider very unethical; he has also instructed me not tell anyone about it. I am very concerned. First of all, I don’t want to do it. Secondly, I don’t want to withhold things from my boss. Also, I feel like I am becoming the “fall guy.” If the CEO gets caught, I will be the one blamed and fired. How can I explain to my CEO that I don’t want to be part of this unethical thing without losing my job?
Just like this guy, there are many people who interested to know the suggestion and solution about dealing with Unethical Behavior. Read the suggestion from Joseph Grenny (who is coauthor of four-time New York Times bestselling author) to this guy on Dealing with unethical behavior here. <link updated to site home> ( Search On Cite | Search On Google )
From India, Gurgaon
Q. Recently, I have been put in a very difficult situation. My CEO wants me to do something I consider very unethical; he has also instructed me not tell anyone about it. I am very concerned. First of all, I don’t want to do it. Secondly, I don’t want to withhold things from my boss. Also, I feel like I am becoming the “fall guy.” If the CEO gets caught, I will be the one blamed and fired. How can I explain to my CEO that I don’t want to be part of this unethical thing without losing my job?
Just like this guy, there are many people who interested to know the suggestion and solution about dealing with Unethical Behavior. Read the suggestion from Joseph Grenny (who is coauthor of four-time New York Times bestselling author) to this guy on Dealing with unethical behavior here. <link updated to site home> ( Search On Cite | Search On Google )
From India, Gurgaon
Ms.Priyanka thanks that you exposed this issue here,as you said your CEO is asking to do an unethical work to do, which type of unethical work he asked you didn't disclosed it.
Any ways , if you are not feeling comfortable to act as per your CEO's instruction without loosing your job, is tough but can be handled with plenty of homework at your own level.
Ask him that you want to have words with him, meet him in free or office hours and try to brief him that you respect him professionally as well as personally, tell him that i try to copy your actions,working patterns etc, tell him i am just not able to dishonor your instructions at any level, but now i am not comfortable to act as per your instructions, say i am highly confused that how to say no, as minus 1 % my inner sense and vibration is not allowing to do this work.
And as it is your work , if i do this task or not , i cant share this thing to any one till life at any cost. i am messed up exactly , kindly help me to overcome this problem , only you can help me here.
Dont use words i don't want to loose my job or this company for such reasons.
Tell him you are one of my favorite professional person, i never expected such instructions from you, even i am feeling very awkward and cant find words how to say NO to you.
Hope as a CEO and good human being you will understand my problem.its not about not applying your things , its all about not feeling comfortable at my own level.
Mam try to handle this situation very smartly and in a planed way, as a film director uses right scripts to and dialogues to express situations,actions or message same pattern you have to copy here in.
Try to tackle him psychologically ,i am sure this will work boss, just guess how each dialogue express and spreads message in minimum span of time, but it should be done with proper time,face expressions and he must feel that you are telling your pain in spite of denying his work.
go ahead with confidence, do some homework.
He will realize that why he said this task to you and will also not loose your job or face any professional problem in company.
Believe , it ca be handled , if you need any kind of emotional,mental support , please do share, i will good if this issue can be solved without loosing your self esteem and job.
Best Wishes...
Manish Srivastava
+91- 96707 66 888
From India, Lucknow
65Any ways , if you are not feeling comfortable to act as per your CEO's instruction without loosing your job, is tough but can be handled with plenty of homework at your own level.
Ask him that you want to have words with him, meet him in free or office hours and try to brief him that you respect him professionally as well as personally, tell him that i try to copy your actions,working patterns etc, tell him i am just not able to dishonor your instructions at any level, but now i am not comfortable to act as per your instructions, say i am highly confused that how to say no, as minus 1 % my inner sense and vibration is not allowing to do this work.
And as it is your work , if i do this task or not , i cant share this thing to any one till life at any cost. i am messed up exactly , kindly help me to overcome this problem , only you can help me here.
Dont use words i don't want to loose my job or this company for such reasons.
Tell him you are one of my favorite professional person, i never expected such instructions from you, even i am feeling very awkward and cant find words how to say NO to you.
Hope as a CEO and good human being you will understand my problem.its not about not applying your things , its all about not feeling comfortable at my own level.
Mam try to handle this situation very smartly and in a planed way, as a film director uses right scripts to and dialogues to express situations,actions or message same pattern you have to copy here in.
Try to tackle him psychologically ,i am sure this will work boss, just guess how each dialogue express and spreads message in minimum span of time, but it should be done with proper time,face expressions and he must feel that you are telling your pain in spite of denying his work.
go ahead with confidence, do some homework.
He will realize that why he said this task to you and will also not loose your job or face any professional problem in company.
Believe , it ca be handled , if you need any kind of emotional,mental support , please do share, i will good if this issue can be solved without loosing your self esteem and job.
Best Wishes...
Manish Srivastava
+91- 96707 66 888
From India, Lucknow
The example given is not a hypothetical one I think. One time or other it happens in every one's personal life and career life as well - may be the degree of the risk associated with is different. In personal life it may strain a hither to important relationship beyond amends: in career life it may pose a serious threat the maximum of which can be firing.The most important thing in such a difficult situation is that if we don't want to say ' YES', we should know how to say ' NO'. Before a crucial conversation over this with the concerned person, it is better to have an introspection as to why we alone particularly dragged into such a situation by the source creating it, be it a relative or our boss. Is it our own vulnerability or the other's predicament? The clear answers to these questions will go a long way in setting forth the course of the proposed crucial conversation to produce a positive result from both's perspective I hope.
From India, Salem
From India, Salem
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