Hello Friends,
Greetings from Shabbar Suterwala.
Tell me if this sounds familiar -- someone asks you to do something that
you really don't want to do or you honestly don't have time for. It might
be a request or an unreasonable request from a friend, a neighbour, a
close relative, a familty member, your office colleague or your boss
for just working late. But you feel like you will let the other person
down if you say "no". You feel GUILTY already, and you haven't even
responded yet! So you say, "Sure," even though doing so is going to put
you under tremendous stress and PRESSURE. You know that you will probably
end up resenting this activity, and maybe even ducking some of your
responsibilities because your heart's just not in it, but you go ahead and
agree anyway.
Why are we so afraid to tell people "NO"? For some reason, we have been
taught that "no" is DISRESPECTFUL -- and even insulting. We seem to value
other people's time more than our own -- feeling that we need to bend over
backward to accommodate others, even if it inconveniences us. I know we're
atoning for the "me", but let's be reasonable! "No" is actually one
of the healthiest words that can come out of your mouth. When you tell
someone "no," you are really saying that you understand and accept your
own LIMITS, and don't want to do a shoddy job by overwhelming yourself.
That you value your time and priorities and aren't willing to take away
from the truly important things in your life. A little selfishness is
necessary, if you want to maintain a balanced and sane life!
"If you do not stand for something - you will fall for anythings or everything."
So how do you say "NO" without insulting the other person, feeling
consumed with guilt, or hurting your own credibility? We need to find a
way to say "no" without dragging up all of those HIDDEN FEARS -- they'll
think I'm lazy or selfish, that I have no career drive, that I'm not
ambitious, that I have no concern for other people. And it's time to give
up all of those roles you're so proud of -- supermom, martyr, hero -- but
are keeping you from finding true peace. Once you've accepted that you
have the right (and often responsibility) to turn someone down, you can do
it in a way that doesn't seem like a REJECTION. Let me show you how:
Here are 20 ways to say "NO" without hurting others
"I CAN'T RIGHT NOW, BUT I CAN DO IT LATER"
"I'M REALLY NOT THE MOST QUALIFIED PERSON FOR THE JOB"
"I JUST DON'T HAVE ANY ROOM IN MY CALENDAR RIGHT NOW"
"I CAN'T, BUT LET ME GIVE YOU THE NAME OF SOMEONE WHO CAN"
"I HAVE ANOTHER COMMITMENT"
"I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SEVERAL PROJECTS AND CAN'T SPARE THE TIME"
"I'VE HAD A FEW THINGS COME UP AND I NEED TO DEAL WITH THOSE FIRST"
"I WOULD RATHER DECLINE THAN END UP DOING A MEDIOCRE JOB"
"I'M REALLY FOCUSING MORE ON MY PERSONAL AND FAMILY LIFE RIGHT NOW"
"I'M REALLY FOCUSING MORE ON MY CAREER RIGHT NOW"
"I REALLY DON'T ENJOY THAT KIND OF WORK"
"I CAN'T, BUT I'M HAPPY TO HELP OUT WITH ANOTHER TASK"
"I'VE LEARNED IN THE PAST THAT THIS REALLY ISN'T MY STRONG SUIT"
"I'M SURE YOU WILL DO A WONDERFUL JOB ON YOUR OWN"
"I DON'T HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE WITH THAT, SO I CAN'T HELP YOU"
"I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THAT"
"I HATE TO SPLIT MY ATTENTION AMONG TOO MANY PROJECTS"
"I'M COMMITTED TO LEAVING SOME TIME FOR MYSELF IN MY SCHEDULE"
"I'M NOT TAKING ON ANY NEW PROJECTS RIGHT NOW"
or a simple, straight, direct "NO"
Please share your feedback regarding the same.
For Assertive Communication Skills
Shabbar Suterwala
Corporate Softskills Trainer
Contact Details:
Shabbar Suterwala's Leaders Workshop
B/303, Mandsaur CHS,
Kokani Pada, Kurar Village,
Malad (East), Mumbai 400 097
Ph: +91-22-28423326
Mb: +91-9892225864
Email:
, 
Join us at: http://finance.groups.yahoo.com/group/LeadersWorkshop
Blog Spot: http://shabbarsuterwala.blogspot.com/ (for archives of Past Articles)
(You are receiving this because you must have opteded for a Yahoo Group Membersip, to not receive further mails, just send blank mail to with "unsubscribe" in the subject line)
From India, Mumbai
41Greetings from Shabbar Suterwala.
Tell me if this sounds familiar -- someone asks you to do something that
you really don't want to do or you honestly don't have time for. It might
be a request or an unreasonable request from a friend, a neighbour, a
close relative, a familty member, your office colleague or your boss
for just working late. But you feel like you will let the other person
down if you say "no". You feel GUILTY already, and you haven't even
responded yet! So you say, "Sure," even though doing so is going to put
you under tremendous stress and PRESSURE. You know that you will probably
end up resenting this activity, and maybe even ducking some of your
responsibilities because your heart's just not in it, but you go ahead and
agree anyway.
Why are we so afraid to tell people "NO"? For some reason, we have been
taught that "no" is DISRESPECTFUL -- and even insulting. We seem to value
other people's time more than our own -- feeling that we need to bend over
backward to accommodate others, even if it inconveniences us. I know we're
atoning for the "me", but let's be reasonable! "No" is actually one
of the healthiest words that can come out of your mouth. When you tell
someone "no," you are really saying that you understand and accept your
own LIMITS, and don't want to do a shoddy job by overwhelming yourself.
That you value your time and priorities and aren't willing to take away
from the truly important things in your life. A little selfishness is
necessary, if you want to maintain a balanced and sane life!
"If you do not stand for something - you will fall for anythings or everything."
So how do you say "NO" without insulting the other person, feeling
consumed with guilt, or hurting your own credibility? We need to find a
way to say "no" without dragging up all of those HIDDEN FEARS -- they'll
think I'm lazy or selfish, that I have no career drive, that I'm not
ambitious, that I have no concern for other people. And it's time to give
up all of those roles you're so proud of -- supermom, martyr, hero -- but
are keeping you from finding true peace. Once you've accepted that you
have the right (and often responsibility) to turn someone down, you can do
it in a way that doesn't seem like a REJECTION. Let me show you how:
Here are 20 ways to say "NO" without hurting others
"I CAN'T RIGHT NOW, BUT I CAN DO IT LATER"
"I'M REALLY NOT THE MOST QUALIFIED PERSON FOR THE JOB"
"I JUST DON'T HAVE ANY ROOM IN MY CALENDAR RIGHT NOW"
"I CAN'T, BUT LET ME GIVE YOU THE NAME OF SOMEONE WHO CAN"
"I HAVE ANOTHER COMMITMENT"
"I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SEVERAL PROJECTS AND CAN'T SPARE THE TIME"
"I'VE HAD A FEW THINGS COME UP AND I NEED TO DEAL WITH THOSE FIRST"
"I WOULD RATHER DECLINE THAN END UP DOING A MEDIOCRE JOB"
"I'M REALLY FOCUSING MORE ON MY PERSONAL AND FAMILY LIFE RIGHT NOW"
"I'M REALLY FOCUSING MORE ON MY CAREER RIGHT NOW"
"I REALLY DON'T ENJOY THAT KIND OF WORK"
"I CAN'T, BUT I'M HAPPY TO HELP OUT WITH ANOTHER TASK"
"I'VE LEARNED IN THE PAST THAT THIS REALLY ISN'T MY STRONG SUIT"
"I'M SURE YOU WILL DO A WONDERFUL JOB ON YOUR OWN"
"I DON'T HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE WITH THAT, SO I CAN'T HELP YOU"
"I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THAT"
"I HATE TO SPLIT MY ATTENTION AMONG TOO MANY PROJECTS"
"I'M COMMITTED TO LEAVING SOME TIME FOR MYSELF IN MY SCHEDULE"
"I'M NOT TAKING ON ANY NEW PROJECTS RIGHT NOW"
or a simple, straight, direct "NO"
Please share your feedback regarding the same.
For Assertive Communication Skills
Shabbar Suterwala
Corporate Softskills Trainer
Contact Details:
Shabbar Suterwala's Leaders Workshop
B/303, Mandsaur CHS,
Kokani Pada, Kurar Village,
Malad (East), Mumbai 400 097
Ph: +91-22-28423326
Mb: +91-9892225864
Email:
Join us at: http://finance.groups.yahoo.com/group/LeadersWorkshop
Blog Spot: http://shabbarsuterwala.blogspot.com/ (for archives of Past Articles)
(You are receiving this because you must have opteded for a Yahoo Group Membersip, to not receive further mails, just send blank mail to
From India, Mumbai
Hello,
It was really very true telling. I have seen it that people why they don't say "NO", to get the importance...or due to pressure..
There is many more to tell but will let you know later...
regards,
swati
From India, Surat
It was really very true telling. I have seen it that people why they don't say "NO", to get the importance...or due to pressure..
There is many more to tell but will let you know later...
regards,
swati
From India, Surat
Hi Shabbar,
It actually sounds familiar...
And i belong to the same group of people who cant say no to any work but fine... i am improving :wink:
I always used to try helping people and my colleagues have taken good advantage out of this they used to ask me for help and i used to slog...
but never is too late...
cheers
anisha
From India, Mumbai
It actually sounds familiar...
And i belong to the same group of people who cant say no to any work but fine... i am improving :wink:
I always used to try helping people and my colleagues have taken good advantage out of this they used to ask me for help and i used to slog...
but never is too late...
cheers
anisha
From India, Mumbai
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