Hi Everyone,
I serve as an editor with a contents company. Having spent 8 odd months here and shared good terms with everyone around, it came as a surprise to me when on the last working day of a senior personnel, a lunch was organised; everyone of some consequence in the company was intimated about the same, except me.
It has caused quite a buzz in the place as well as in my mind, as I am at a loss to understand the reason for my exclusion!!
I am a lilttle upset and am unable to decide who is the correct person to seek reasons for such breach of protocol.
Kindly share your thoughts about this instance and tell me what is the right approach to take.
Regards,
Urvi Verma
From India, Gurgaon
I serve as an editor with a contents company. Having spent 8 odd months here and shared good terms with everyone around, it came as a surprise to me when on the last working day of a senior personnel, a lunch was organised; everyone of some consequence in the company was intimated about the same, except me.
It has caused quite a buzz in the place as well as in my mind, as I am at a loss to understand the reason for my exclusion!!
I am a lilttle upset and am unable to decide who is the correct person to seek reasons for such breach of protocol.
Kindly share your thoughts about this instance and tell me what is the right approach to take.
Regards,
Urvi Verma
From India, Gurgaon
Generally, unofficial farewell parties no official guest is invited until he/she has informal relationships with the subordinate groups.
majority of cases its peers group who organise and share joy of farewell because of privicy and freedom from the formal supervision by some one senior who is obstacle to their freedom.
partho
From Saudi Arabia
4majority of cases its peers group who organise and share joy of farewell because of privicy and freedom from the formal supervision by some one senior who is obstacle to their freedom.
partho
From Saudi Arabia
Dear Urvi,
I would like to share an incident I came across once.
I joined a company. Due to space constraint, I was given to sit in the 'Library'. The renovation work was going on, so it was ok to bear with them. A month passed by and the renovation work was over. On the next Monday, when I came to office, I was surprised to see the 'griha-pravesh puja' being performed in the new office space. People had gathered and the rituals were in full flow. I felt bad that atleast my boss should have intimated me about it, more so, when the new office was where I was going to get a seat.
I took that incident to my heart. I made up my mind to quit soon. I went to my boss and asked politely "Sir, naya office ban gaya, puja hone wali thi, mujhe kisi ne nahi bataya." He expressed his surprise, "arrey, aise kaise nahi?" and jokingly added, "aur nahi bhi bataya to hum sabko apni ankhe aur kaan to khule rakhne chahiye."
I reviewed the entire incident and then thought, it would be too small a reason to quit just because I was not invited to be a part of some function. I applied the policy, "forget and forgive". And, I stayed with that company for 4 years and had a wonderful time. And yes, very shortly when I was a known person in that organisation of 1000 employees I was never missed out to be invited on any gathering.
So, my message to you would be, just forget and forgive. Keep doing your good work. Make your presence felt in the organisation. Take messages positively from such negative situations.
Good luck.
Prashant
From India, Delhi
I would like to share an incident I came across once.
I joined a company. Due to space constraint, I was given to sit in the 'Library'. The renovation work was going on, so it was ok to bear with them. A month passed by and the renovation work was over. On the next Monday, when I came to office, I was surprised to see the 'griha-pravesh puja' being performed in the new office space. People had gathered and the rituals were in full flow. I felt bad that atleast my boss should have intimated me about it, more so, when the new office was where I was going to get a seat.
I took that incident to my heart. I made up my mind to quit soon. I went to my boss and asked politely "Sir, naya office ban gaya, puja hone wali thi, mujhe kisi ne nahi bataya." He expressed his surprise, "arrey, aise kaise nahi?" and jokingly added, "aur nahi bhi bataya to hum sabko apni ankhe aur kaan to khule rakhne chahiye."
I reviewed the entire incident and then thought, it would be too small a reason to quit just because I was not invited to be a part of some function. I applied the policy, "forget and forgive". And, I stayed with that company for 4 years and had a wonderful time. And yes, very shortly when I was a known person in that organisation of 1000 employees I was never missed out to be invited on any gathering.
So, my message to you would be, just forget and forgive. Keep doing your good work. Make your presence felt in the organisation. Take messages positively from such negative situations.
Good luck.
Prashant
From India, Delhi
Good Suggestions from Parthasarthi and wonderful sharing of Dasp06 – Prashant.
Dear Urvi, hope you satisfy with the suggestions. There is no more to add in.
Millions of thanks to the professionals who attend the topic and suggest quickly.
Regards
Pankaj Chandan
From India, New delhi
Dear Urvi, hope you satisfy with the suggestions. There is no more to add in.
Millions of thanks to the professionals who attend the topic and suggest quickly.
Regards
Pankaj Chandan
From India, New delhi
Mine is a small 60 employee set up!! It was an official lunch send-off!! Its isn't about taking offence, its about figuring out a valid (or any other!!) reason)!! Not about non-forgivance, just about why this happened!! At the last minute, if i was conspicious by my absence i could have been called...That would have been solace enough!! i hope it is understood that the bone of contention is less the hurt more a breach in protocol!!
From India, Gurgaon
From India, Gurgaon
Hi Urvi,
This is very common at every workplace. Everybody come across such situations.So just chill out first.Nothing worth to be take taken heart.
Just try to know for yourself how was invite made ..was it made in person or was an email sent out to everybody in common or was it a cascading of message through sub-ordinates. There you will have an idea on how you were missed out was it in purpose or not. Even if it was so theres nothing to worry about. Its just 8 months you still have a long way to show yourself of what you are. Thats how people come to you. Only when throw yourself to the limelight people turn towards you. And here I go with the above views by Prashant. Whoever has arranged that lunch or took responsibilty to invite all..just walk up to them and say casually with a sarcastic smile "You know I actually wonder how i missed that official lunch. Was I wasnt kept informed or did i turn out on the invite.But I really wanted to be a part of it" and the message would be reached. It would depend on you.
So, its not worth taking it to heart
Just go ahead.You know sometimes
From India, Mumbai
This is very common at every workplace. Everybody come across such situations.So just chill out first.Nothing worth to be take taken heart.
Just try to know for yourself how was invite made ..was it made in person or was an email sent out to everybody in common or was it a cascading of message through sub-ordinates. There you will have an idea on how you were missed out was it in purpose or not. Even if it was so theres nothing to worry about. Its just 8 months you still have a long way to show yourself of what you are. Thats how people come to you. Only when throw yourself to the limelight people turn towards you. And here I go with the above views by Prashant. Whoever has arranged that lunch or took responsibilty to invite all..just walk up to them and say casually with a sarcastic smile "You know I actually wonder how i missed that official lunch. Was I wasnt kept informed or did i turn out on the invite.But I really wanted to be a part of it" and the message would be reached. It would depend on you.
So, its not worth taking it to heart
Just go ahead.You know sometimes
From India, Mumbai
May be they just missed your name in the list.
Who knows - they may post a query "I forgot to invite an important person, how do I apologize?"
and the answer to that question may be "Its okaty - as long as that person (Urvi) does not question about it or let you know that she felt bad - just leave it and make sure you invite her the next time"
I guess Kavitha has already mentioned - just walk and let them know you missed being there.
Do you know my "famous" blunder - I once forgot to invite the person leaving the company, and invited everyone else for his party.
You see - last minute preparation. :-)
From India, Madras
Who knows - they may post a query "I forgot to invite an important person, how do I apologize?"
and the answer to that question may be "Its okaty - as long as that person (Urvi) does not question about it or let you know that she felt bad - just leave it and make sure you invite her the next time"
I guess Kavitha has already mentioned - just walk and let them know you missed being there.
Do you know my "famous" blunder - I once forgot to invite the person leaving the company, and invited everyone else for his party.
You see - last minute preparation. :-)
From India, Madras
Hi,
I had a very Good opportunity with Y Company and the current company is a Good one but FULL of false promises. I have been Excellent @ my work for the last six months and waiting patiently for a chance which is in the near future(1 year). Mean while I got a Job in the Y Company.
Now my Manager is not ready to relieve me immediately, I have a Notice period of One Month!! I had discussions with my Manager and his Seniors for a week and he stopped me from sending a Resignation mail for 10days and ultimately I did it. Now Y company wants me to join ASAP.
I do not want to loose this opportunity and at the same time I do not want to be Unprofessional to the Old company.
Now I fell sick unfortunately and I did not attend the office and they started suspecting me that I' am attending the New Company. They did not even give my last months salary saying that It would be done in the final settlement.
My new company is ready to accept me with the Resignation Acceptance letter which I already have.
I' am running out of money now. But I' am worried about the Future if I join the New company with out Relieving letter.
Please Advice.
From India, Bangalore
I had a very Good opportunity with Y Company and the current company is a Good one but FULL of false promises. I have been Excellent @ my work for the last six months and waiting patiently for a chance which is in the near future(1 year). Mean while I got a Job in the Y Company.
Now my Manager is not ready to relieve me immediately, I have a Notice period of One Month!! I had discussions with my Manager and his Seniors for a week and he stopped me from sending a Resignation mail for 10days and ultimately I did it. Now Y company wants me to join ASAP.
I do not want to loose this opportunity and at the same time I do not want to be Unprofessional to the Old company.
Now I fell sick unfortunately and I did not attend the office and they started suspecting me that I' am attending the New Company. They did not even give my last months salary saying that It would be done in the final settlement.
My new company is ready to accept me with the Resignation Acceptance letter which I already have.
I' am running out of money now. But I' am worried about the Future if I join the New company with out Relieving letter.
Please Advice.
From India, Bangalore
Hi Urvi,
Once a colleague of mine had sent an e mail invitation to all about a moon light walking in the sea beach. Every one was quite excited and people started informally talking about the plan ...
I was embarassed to realise that the mail didn't reach me. After 2 days I could not hold it any more,and as the plan was for the weekend I went up straight to the sender and asked 'why you have not sent me the mail ?'
He was surprised and said I just copied all employees addresses from your mail,because any general mail from HR will definitely contain all employees e mail ids. And in the process he said, he failed to add my e mail id as well.
So this, as he acknowledged was just a blunder ...
Don't bother about such small things,gradually create an impression where people invite you because "you are the cheese on the pizza" than a mere formality !:-D
Take care
Geet
From Korea, Seoul
Once a colleague of mine had sent an e mail invitation to all about a moon light walking in the sea beach. Every one was quite excited and people started informally talking about the plan ...
I was embarassed to realise that the mail didn't reach me. After 2 days I could not hold it any more,and as the plan was for the weekend I went up straight to the sender and asked 'why you have not sent me the mail ?'
He was surprised and said I just copied all employees addresses from your mail,because any general mail from HR will definitely contain all employees e mail ids. And in the process he said, he failed to add my e mail id as well.
So this, as he acknowledged was just a blunder ...
Don't bother about such small things,gradually create an impression where people invite you because "you are the cheese on the pizza" than a mere formality !:-D
Take care
Geet
From Korea, Seoul
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