pranati
49

hi, I am pranati (B.E.(IT) pursuing PGCHRM from XLRI) with a total of 2 years of experience in HRIS, admin. ,recruitment etc . But, i love to analyse the various figures etc to find gaps, incompetencies in general HR processes and finding new ways of going about them-the problem comes in trying to convince others about it - "CAUSE ACCORDING TO THEM ITS NOT MY JOB" and to state the fact that i am not interested in routine clerical recruitment etc. please help...what should i do...
THANKS
Pranati

From India, Mumbai
Hemant
3

Hi Pranati !

It's really good that you want to "analyze the various figures" and find out the creative solutions for them.

But not everybody thinks so ! People think that u are invading their area ! so they might feel threatened by your findings and they may fear loss of job/ reputation if u unearth some major problems in their area !

One of the strategy that you can adopt is that : Start with a person who you can rely on ! Find out the problems in his/her area and tell that person in a more subtle/ tactful way, about the type and intensity of that problem. Make him/her think about the solution for that problem and only after that give your solution.

Now comes the question of taking credit for implementation of solution ! Let your friend take credit ! By doing that your friend will let you poke your nose deeper into his/her domain and so you will more access to the data to work on !

Later on, yes, you can start claiming credit for your findings and the possible CREATIVE solutions for them !!!

What do u think about it ?

From India, Pune
Ajmal Mirza
35

This proves that
IT industry has gone where no other industry has gone till date..
Well, it will take some time before people would understand the need of "Devil's Advocate" :twisted: who would point out all the loop holes in their system. The IT guys are already doing it by hiring the [ethical??] hackers.
Let some one come-up with a post for your kind of profile...
I sincerely believe that you would be a great asset to any organisation designing changing their job descriptions
Ajmal Mirza

From India, Ahmadabad
Rajat Joshi
101

Hi Pranati,

i am pranati (B.E.(IT) pursuing PGCHRM from XLRI) with a total of 2 years of experiance in HRIS,admin. ,recruitment etc . But, i love to analyze the various figures etc to find gaps,incompetencies in general HR processes and finding new ways of going about them-the problem comes in trying to convince others about it - "CAUSE ACCORDING TO THEM ITS NOT MY JOB" and to state the facts i am not interested in routine clerical recruitment etc. please help...what should i do...

THANKS

Pranati


i very well understand your problem!!..esp me too to went your way as well in finding the root causes & analysing them..but the MANAGEMENT..felt i was overstepping my brief/role ....is that what you are facing?...

Management you see is all about people..when you find problems & solutions the Management or key people feel threatened ..n try to block you..it happens all the time..afterall people r people..here for example if you do that at home you would face the problem as well...

What you need to do is carry the people with you..gotta to convince them subtly as they would benefit..or best approach is ask them what are the problems they are facing as you would like to assist them..if you have an answer plant it in their minds and it should look that the solution is given by them...rest all easy...

Am attaching the article on how to get along with people..in fact the best book is on this by Dale Carnegie..must read.

Hope this helps..it would solve all other ancillary problems...

Cheerio

Rajat

How to get along with people

(or how to avoid causing offence!)

We all know how it feels to ‘get along with people’, but what is really happening at these times? What are the ingredients of the secret sociable sauce?

It is clear that some people are more offensive than others. It seems that either they don’t care or they don’t know what they are doing.

If you have problems getting along with people there are three possible reasons why:

1. You know how you are upsetting people but you don’t care

2. You don’t know you are upsetting people

3. You are aware that you are upsetting people but you don’t quite understand why. This article is for the benefit of all you 3’s out there! (And possibly some 2’s too!)

Why people get offended

"I feel put down, put out, misunderstood, threatened, ignored, cheated and deeply offended." Well not really, but I could - why? Because I am human and therefore have basic emotional needs that can be transgressed by other human beings.

We all have basic emotional needs, and to feel happy your needs have to be met at least some of the time.

Emotional needs include:

• The need for safety and security

• The need to give and receive attention

• The need for a sense of status

• The need for purpose and goals

• The need for physical wellbeing

• The need for a connection to something greater than ourselves - community, ideals, beliefs etc.

• The need for intimacy

• The need to be stimulated and stretched (but not stressed)

• The need for a sense of control.

So how can you offend people?

You offend people by stepping on their basic emotional needs.

One common way this occurs is by mistakenly assuming that communicating the problem ‘as you see it’ is the only thing to be considered when ‘giving feedback.’ Anyone can say the words, but it takes thought, practice and skill to deliver unpalatable messages without causing undue hurt.

Of course, there are situations in which the message is more important than the method. If I’m administering mouth to mouth resuscitation to someone I may yell at a friend or colleague for assistance. Yelling at them normally (in a non-emergency) would infringe upon their needs for:

• Status

• Safety and security

• The need for a sense of control

“But as long as they get the message who cares?” Well that depends whether you want to get along with people; on whether you consider friendship and the morale of those around you important or not…

Next, why getting on with people is all about emotional needs...

Emotional Needs in Relationships

If you have upset someone, consider which of their emotional needs you have trampled upon.

If you complain to a member of staff loudly in front of other staff members then they may feel ‘put down’ (impairment to their sense of status). This would hold true for a teenager in front of their friends.

If you end a four year romance by text message the recipient of your insensitivity may feel angered to receive such news in this way. Why? Because many needs are trampled on:

1 - The need for status (as respected partner, o.k. ex-partner)

2 - The need for proper attention

3 - The need for a sense of control (you try reasoning with a text message!)

4 - The need for intimacy… and so the list goes on.

How to spot which emotional need you have infringed

Of course you may not mean to upset someone but if you do, it will be because some basic need hasn’t been catered for. Here are a few more examples:

‘You’re just not hearing me!’ (the need for attention, intimacy, connection to others, ).

‘I never know where I am with you!’ (the need for safety and security).

‘You should have asked me first!’ (need for status).

‘You shouldn’t have lied to me!’ (The need for safety and security, status, intimacy).

‘You’re really dissing me!’ (The need for status).

Over-sensitivity

Some people will take offence at almost anything. However if you are clear about why people get upset then at least you’ll know why they feel upset, which will tell you something about what is important to them and illuminate their more sensitive areas.

As I’ve said, it’s not always appropriate to consider someone else’s feelings. If you are performing life-saving first aid you may have to scream at people to get out of the way. However once you are clear about emotional needs then you can begin to understand what goes wrong in relationships.

Next, why emotional needs hold the key to making friends...

When making friends, understanding how emotional needs work is essential.

Different friends usually meet different needs in your life.

• You may make a friend who is fun and exciting but who you wouldn’t necessarily tell your deepest secrets. They meet your need for stimulation.

• Another friend may be less exciting, more plodding but a wonderful listener.

• Another may be someone you can share intimacies with who makes you feel safe and secure because they are so dependable.

• Yet another may be a business partner, someone you can share goals and aspirations with, meeting your needs for goals, status, and meaning.

• And that one person who meets all or many of your needs? Hey presto, it’s your perfect friend or partner!

What makes a good friend?

People will tend to want to make friends with you if they feel you meet some of their emotional needs. If you make them laugh you stimulate. If you look out for them they feel safe and secure. If you encourage them and point out their strengths you give them a sense of control and status. If you share secrets and have private jokes you meet their need for intimacy. Think about what you offer people and what others offer you. Basic emotional needs will always play a part.

Delivering difficult messages well

What about when you need to ‘have a word’ with someone over something you’re not happy about?

A common mistake is to criticize someone as a person rather than complain about something specific in their behavior.

What’s the difference? Well if you feel strongly about something you want to let the offending person know about it. Fair enough. But if people feel attacked something has gone wrong. You want their behavior to change in the future. This is the desired outcome. You don’t want a new best enemy!

How to ‘attack’ someone

Have you ever noticed that when giving negative feedback some people just go onto ‘transmit?’ The recipient becomes someone to be acted upon rather than interacted with.

Sweeping remarks about a person being ‘lazy’, stupid etc tend not to be forgotten even after later apologies, back tracks and claims of ‘I didn’t mean it - I was angry!’

If you attack someone’s identity as a person (rather than something specific in their behavior) don’t be surprised if they go on the defensive. If you have a problem with someone about something they’ve done (or forgotten to do) you can be firm but fair.

Make friends, keep friends

To hold onto the friends you have, keep the way open for good future relations with this person by avoiding causing undue offence. Once you have taken the time to make friends, you don’t want to accidentally drive them away!

Constructive criticism versus attacking someone as a person

Sometimes we have to deliver ‘constructive criticism’ – that is, letting someone know about something they do that you don’t agree with. Constructive criticism is NOT however…

• Not letting them speak

• Over-generalising the problem

• Blaming them, attacking their core identity rather than focusing on the behaviour in question

• Indicating that everything they always do is wrong

• Raising your voice

• Invading body space

• Asking questions without waiting for a response: ‘Why do you always…?, What do you think you are doing?, ‘Why do you never….?

Consequences include:

• Loss of respect, morale, and trust

• Lack of clarity in precisely what the problem is that needs addressing

• No clear feedback as to why the problem may have occurred and what can be done about it

Remember: ‘An emotional brain is not a thinking brain.’

Giving specific negative feedback (Constructive criticism or ‘complaint’)

Constructive criticism can also be described as ‘complaint’, which in fact is a clearer way of putting it. The word criticism implies something personal, complaining is more about behaviour. Here’s how to do it well…

• Have a gentle start up to your complaint. The ‘you’ word at the start can immediately switch people into the defensive. Rather start with phrases like: ‘I’ve noticed recently….’

• Be specific in your feedback. Talk only about the problem with their behaviour / performance you wish to address

• Keep it time limited: ‘Recently I’ve noticed that….’, and ‘I want to talk about the incident last week…’ Not: ‘You always/never blah blah blah (because that is all they will hear!)

• Don’t make comments about their personality, appearance and don’t make wild statements about how everyone else perceives them. This can be unfounded and crushing. Remember some things you say may be irreparable later on so stick to the point! Keep emotions out of it as far as possible.

Being respectful and fair doesn’t mean being scared to deliver the message. It is much more skilful to deliver a difficult message well than to bulldozer someone. Learning to do this well means keeping open lines of communication and maintaining relationships, which of course is most important if you have to work with them in future or they are your romantic partner.

How to give compliments

Mark Twain said he could live two months on a good compliment. This may have been pushing it a bit but giving regular and sincere (most important) compliments cements relationships.

Note: Keeping complaints specific limits damage to relationships. Being specific with your compliments maximizes their effectiveness.

So a rule for any type of feedback to other people is: Be specific!

For example, “You are so wonderful”, does not have the same power as, “The way you handled that meeting showed you have real people skills… especially when you…”. Keeping your compliments specific makes them meaningful and more likely to be believed.

A compliment to a young boy such as: “You were so great today winning your race / trying your hardest / comforting your friend” is much more readily accepted and memorable then a vague, ‘You are so wonderful for just being you!’

Criticism (even when constructive) is more likely to be accepted if it is tempered by regular compliments. A ratio of 5:1 compliment to complaint is a handy rule-of-thumb.

Next, further effective relationship skills...

Further Relationship Skills

Like a popular bank account, people will like you if you pay good interest. Listening properly to people can meet their need for connection, status and intimacy and is a key relationship skill.

Let people know you are listening by:



1. Actually listening to them, nodding, smiling and looking in their general direction.

2. Feeding back what they say; showing them you know they actually said it. And then adding anything of your own. If you don’t agree at least acknowledge they’ve spoken: ‘I understand what you mean, however as far as I see it…..’, or: ‘That’s a good idea---------and it might be even better if….’

Ask opinions, advice or help

People feel important if you ask them what they think. This meets their need for status.

Talk to them about their concerns and interests

People will feel that you are interesting if you show interest in them. Don’t compromise your own personality but be aware of this basic rapport building rule.

Offer help and do favors

People like people who are helpful. Helping people practically meets all kinds of emotional needs (you should, by now, be able to work out which ones ;-)

And smile, smile, smile

Research shows that when you smile at someone pleasure centers in their brain are stimulated. People like warmth and will come to associate you with feeling good. Smiling relaxes people and make them feel they can trust you.

Basic rules on smiling:



• Don’t over do it! Whoops!

• Don’t smile when you are anxious, angry or giving negative feedback-it’s confusing!

• Don’t smile when someone else has stubbed their toe. You smiling when someone else is having a bad time gives the message that you are glad it’s not you rather than you wish it wasn’t them!

In summary

• Remember that everyone has similar emotional needs (including you!)

• Take these needs into account in social, work and romantic situations

• Keep complaints specific and avoid overgeneralising negatives

• Make compliments specific; give examples to make them ‘real’

• Listen and talk about what is important to people. And smile and look interested.

The more you meet others’ emotional needs, the more they will like you. The less you step on their emotional needs, the less offence you will cause. And if someone else offends you, check out your basic emotional needs to find out why.

From India, Pune
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