Female employee wearing sensational clothes in office

Hi,

Even though your organization has no stated norms about clothes, from your post, there seems to be an unsaid norm about the same, or you (and others) wouldn't be bothered by what she wears.

No one in the office (including that girl) is fool enough to believe that an email sent to all on this subject really applies to all, if that new girl is such a sensation, and it would only serve as a public reprimand that came out of the blue, and thus humiliating for her. Plus, if you mean it for her, why pretend its for all?

If I were in your place, I would go about things like thus.

First, I would meet with the girl privately. I would explain the dilemma I was caught in. On one hand, I respect her individuality and choice to wear whatever she thinks she should. On the other hand, as a person in HR, facilitating an atmosphere that's conducive to harmony is my responsibility.

I would explain how I see the impact of her attire (without allocating ANY blame ANYWHERE):

• Women staff show discomfort in her presence - this could and probably IS leading to her being looked upon with envy or disapproval, and will impact her working relationships in the office and impact productivity negatively.
• Men seem to be attracted. This could have an impact in terms of being seen as too inviting by the opposite gender and thus not taken seriously, which would again impact performance when it came to the value of her contributions - would men be considering her capability (would they even notice it amid the decoration)?

This would lead to working interactions based on a stereotype of her that has nothing to do with how she actually works. That troubles me, both for her, as well as the well being of us as a group. On a personal level, I have little experience, and thus comfort with such clothes, and I find it a little awkward (feel shy) and can't get over them to see her, as a whole person, which I would like to.

I would ask her for help on this matter, as I would prefer it for myself, for her and the group if personal clothing wouldn't be a matter for an official rule to be laid down.

Then, if she agrees to help, I would simply trust her, and see what happens for the next week or so. If she doesn't agree, OR if she doesn't present herself suitably, I would call a staff meeting and share that I had observed that there was an unsaid norm about clothes, though there was none officially, and would explain how I see the situation currently.

I would explain my bottom line that we keep the norm, or it goes, I couldn't care less, but we make it clear what happens to it. So either we throw away the norm, in which case I expect the members of the staff to quit flaunting either their disapproval, or their drooling, or we could state it clearly and define what constituted appropriate clothing which everyone would be expected to follow.

They KEY DIFFICULTY in this issue is not dealing with the girl, but keeping our own value judgments away from our facilitation of the situation. As an authority role, we are expected to be available to all, not just the ones on whose "side" we are. I say this specifically, because I sensed you being on the "side" of the women.

The clothes are the woman's responsibility, but the responses and reactions belong to all and not just her.

I am very concerned at the state of HR in our community, where judgments are passed so easily, and there is no sensitivity for the girl.

I believe that as HR, we are available to all people and not just the ones we choose to support and attack the ones we don't.

With recommendations of:

• "Shock treatment" - are we not laying a role model for women to be looked as objects in a derogatory manner? And why shouldn't the girl sue you for those comments - just because you're in the mood to play Freud?
• By laying down rules for the entire staff, are we not imposing our sense of "right and wrong" on them? What makes us so certain that everyone indeed has an issue with what we see an issue with?
• How many people here have exhibited understanding and enabling support for the girl? Is she not a member of the staff that you provide an HR function to?

Sensitivity and caring seems to be a value long lost among members in their superiority and judgments on who is right and wrong and power plays on how they should be "dealt with"

Some pages back Shaival hit the nail on the head, without really understanding what she said "But some time HR have to be rude , thats a reason why 75 % employee are not happy with their HR [ Because we force them to behave in a particular way ]."

No one has to be rude. We become rude when we stop caring about the person we are speaking with. Even if employees can't state it as clearly as this, they can sense it, and really, who likes someone who doesn't respect them? Do you? Do you like someone who doesn't really care about you, but claims to know what is best for you and then goes ahead and imposes it on you? If 75% employees are not happy with their HR, isn't it high time HR used this feedback to re-create themselves to be more functional?

I'm sorry to say that I am utterly disgusted.

Also, the amount of double standards we see here......

How is the girl spoiling the environment? The environment is being spoiled by the bitching and the leering, which she may be the object of, but is certainly not doing. So, in a way, we are encouraging people to bitch and whine and look at women as objects. Forget what we encourage, we are doing it, and looking at it as the moral and "right" way.

Stretching this logic takes us to the kind of mentality that says that girls who get raped were asking for it.

Folks, learn to own your own feelings. You look at a woman who is attractive, YOU feel attracted and can't stop making an idiot of yourself, this embarrasses you when it gets noted, therefore the girl is wrong?

OR

You look at a girl who is bold and beautiful, you compare your own clothing with hers, and find yours not as attractive/attention attracting, you would like more attention, which you find going her way, so it is her fault?

I am not saying that the woman is innocent or that she is not. The whole point here is our blaming others for things inside us that we find shameful.

being a senior member of hr,i would like to make a pinpoint that no one should entertain such lady and just work normal way ,when company has no any dress code than no one can do anything.but as a co worker all female member has to make healthy atmosphier and make friendship with her and gradually celebrate some days in office with dress style and make all participation by friendly than i think that female also in familier mood and then automatically she make changes in her own way as well as other lady also try to ignore small things if any because of friendly nature.

Hi Preeti,

I personally think you need to have a formal dress code/ official attire policy which can be communicated across the company. For example Accenture has a superb dress code policy which was sent across through a humour. I am sending that link below, probably even you can use it from your reference. All set and done, it is the job of an HR guy to act a moral police and draw a line wherevr necessary.

Accenture Dress Codes — Well Said | Tech,Fun,This n That at www.Hem.com.np

Regards
Prashant

being a senior member of hr,i would like to make a pinpoint that no one should entertain such lady and just work normal way ,when company has no any dress code than no one can do anything.but as a co worker all female member has to make healthy atmosphier and make friendship with her and gradually celebrate some days in office with dress style and make all participation by friendly than i think that female also in familier mood and then automatically she make changes in her own way as well as other lady also try to ignore small things if any because of friendly nature.

Dear Preeti,
Some body has rightly said that the sound of sanity should not get drowned in the cacophony of fashion and modern trends. Modernisation, per se doesn't mean exposure. To curb such tendencies at work place, all good organisations advocate a descent dress code. Now as an efficient HR , it is your duty to take immediate corrective measures to prevent further damage to the working culture of your org. I think talking a spade, a spade is the one way of functioning. I am sure your this incorrigible employee need perfect pep talk with firmness at higher level. General e-mail may not have any impact on her. You should know to deal with people firmly.

Regards

Manmohan guleria

I think Preethi has a point. She pointed out that the girl in question came to work with "sphgetti strpped" top. Even in the West in some companies such tops are not considered appropriate wear to work. I had quoted the following site as an example.

MiCSC - Employee Orientation Guidelines - , Examples of Dress Code Policies

At this site it clearly states "spaghetti-strap dresses should not be worn to the office."

Good luck.

Narasimhan

Interesting Discussion... and I couldn't resist commenting on it... I actually have a few questions for Preeti...

1. I would be extremely interested to know how she was interviewed? Because from the statements made by you, she is constantly in the habit of wearing "Fashionable" clothes ( Fashion for some, vulgarity for others) and should have done the same when she was interviewed. Was it not raised as a "concern" ? If not, why not?

2. Was her cultural fit ever considered prior to decision making? One of the most common and expensive mistakes we in the HR community make is " Our lack of respect to Cultural Fitment". We assume that if a person has the right skills they are the people for the opening. Not at all!! Everyone doesn't fit in everywhere. That's a Myth!!! The reason a HR round is conducted is only to ensure that the FITMENT in all respect is complete.
Skill Fitment is done through Technical round, Compensation Fitment by looking at her CTC and expectation, so the oly Fitment that needs to be figured out inthe HR round is the Cultural Fitment.

3. What is your role in the organization today? Are you HR as it exists in 90% of the companies today whereby HR is a fancy term for Management Coordinators or are you truly HR as it should be? Because if you were truly HR, you should have been aware of all the differences between each industry. Every industry has some Cultural patterns and as an HR you should be aware of them because it helps you fine tune a "new joinee" into your culture.

4. Did the person go through an Induction Program?
One of the most Under rated, under utilized, abused activity is the " induction program" . Induction is what sets expectations. Induction is where you set ground rules and most importantly Induction is where you as HR set your direct communication channel with every employee.

Having said that ( i'm not blaming you. I just think there are gaps in your Process that you can improve), Is it that Sticky a problem ? Not really.
There is only one solution to this issue - Communicate. The complexity in the solution lies in - How? How do you communicate so as correctly address the issue and not have it Misunderstood or misrepresented. If your communication channel is open with this employee, then have a 1 to 1. Call it a feedback session. Spend more than 70% of this time listening to her and her views and reactions on the organization and her experience in this organization. then as a part of your time,give her this feedback. More as a suggestion to improve rather than a comment on her lifestyle.

I think it will work.

Cheers

Navneet Chandra

Hi Preeti

Good Day !!

what i think its good if you send a mail on team ID regarding the rule of your company ( dress code ) after that if any one don't follow the rules then send a mail to him or her & cc to their HOD i think this is the better way

As a HR person You have the right so do your duty

All The Best

Thks/ Atul Sharma